The Healer Path
July 17th, 2019 marked my one year anniversary of starting down the healer path.
Last spring, I was in a dark place. I was getting up, schlepping onto the train, going through the motions and hating every minute. I was dying inside because I wasn't growing. I'd forgotten how to dream, and all I wanted was CHANGE!!! I was entertaining moving to... pretty much every place I visited... anything had to be better than HERE. Here was meaningless and I didn't feel thankful or proud of any of the supposed accomplishments that went with it.
But "here" it turns out, is not a place. "Here" is a state of mind.
Last July, I came home from a trip to Iceland the Sunday after the 4th, and went straight to Prospect Park to picnic with my book club ladies. We came up with silly dance moves and reveled in the joy that is supportive female friendship (Thank everything for you ladies!!)
As we were leaving, I planted a seed with my amazingly powerful friend Rebecca Fenner. She had recently tapped into her abilities as a medium and I said that I’d like to set up a session to see if we might be able to communicate with my father, who passed away when I was 15, almost 20 years ago.
A few days went by and she reached out and said: “What about next Tuesday, July 17th?”
And I stopped 😳… and I asked her to wait for a minute… while I went to check something….
It had been a long time since I celebrated my father’s birthday, as I really shut off my connection with him when he passed… but sure enough,… July 17th was his birthday, and so we set the date.
My dreams were flooded with Dad the night before. I could feel him trying to reach me, but it wasn’t in the spooky way that I’d imagined and run from. It was a thought, a remembrance, an imprint, an embrace.
The day came, and I was nervous. I have always been a scaredy cat around all things ghosts, but I was with a trusted friend and knew she’d keep me safe.
We went into the room together. I felt a stillness and anticipation, but it was all so regular. She opened the space, called on spirit guides to protect us and let only that which would serve the highest greatest good to come through and we sat still. Eventually she said: “Now say his name three times,” and I giggled saying “okay now I really just want to say ‘Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice,” and she smiled and kicked me and made a serious face, so I went on to say his name and his presence came through, slowly at first, answering yes or no questions, and it continued to a rush of messages, left so long unheard.
When I describe it, all I can really say is that it was a conversation. She or I spoke, waited, and then channeled a message. It was Becca speaking that message, but it was him speaking, plain as day. We talked about every part of my life. We talked about our family, his relationship with my mom, he said sorry, I said sorry… we talked about love, we talked about many things, many that my friend Becca knew nothing about previously. I grabbed a notebook at some point and started writing all the things he had to say.
At one point, my Dad was actually having a conversation with my friend and he was talking about me to her, and he said: “She’s Brilliant. She’s so convincing, she should be convincing people to live a better life.”
“She should be convincing people to live a better life.”
That sentence has changed everything.
Funnily enough I was already planning to camp with the Heebeegeebee Healers at Burning Man... so that was pretty much perfect. Since last year, I’ve become a light worker. I use Reiki to heal myself and channel messages for those I am healing. I am sharing my journey of self discovery on Facebook in the hopes that others will learn from it and find a way to be here and be happier. I've talked about thoughts of su***de, abortion, polyamory... all of the things that no one wants to talk about.
Now I am starting a coaching practice, and have just shared my first workshop to help people looking for love find it with a fresh outlook.
Thank you Dad for giving me a purpose and helping me be here in this life more fully.
My father, Wendell Maurice Upchurch, was a brilliant artist and materials expert for Windsor & Newton. He told me that he had once seen a glimpse of his own clairvoyant abilities, but that he repressed them out of fear because of other peoples reactions.
He was fascinated with the spirit world and I remember that he once had me listen to Loreena McKennitt's album The Visit. This music is filled with haunting melodies and pagan spirits, but in particular the song “The Old Ways” sticks out because it speaks about a fleeting encounter a woman has with a spirit where she says:
Suddenly I knew that you'd have to go
your world was not mine, your eyes told me so
Yet it was there I felt the crossroads of time
And I wondered why.
It’s strange to think that my relationship with him is stronger now than it ever was, but Dad, I’m here, I hear you and I’m listening.
