Blueprint Therapy and Wellness

12/01/2022

Send them our way

This time of year is the best for some and heart-wrenching and exhausting and overwhelming for others. Be good to each other. We’re all we have. 💚

This is the very essence of what our organisation is about, supporting those who are down on their luck. Remember - never look down on someone, unless you are helping them up.

03/10/2022

Happy 🌹 this morning we are accepting the affirmation of complexity— of giving ourselves the grace to allow the contradicting realities of all that is held in our hearts to be felt and understood. We take a moment of breath to celebrate allowing ourselves the space to explore the feelings we embody.

Via 🌹
…

02/03/2022

11/22/2021

This morning, we re-posted an article about how to talk to your children about shootings and senseless violence.

We are sickened and devastated and angry about what happened in Waukesha.

Here is a summary:

-For younger kids, wait until about age 8 to get into any detail, unless the incident directly affects your family.

-Tell a clear one-sentence story so that young children can understand at an age appropriate level. “A bad man hurt people with a gun (truck, etc.) can explain what happened at the level a young child will understand.

-Reassure your child that they are safe. Let them know that you and other adults are doing everything they can to keep them safe.

-Limit media exposure of children 8 and under, especially visual images. These images can be scary and confusing because a child might think the incident is happening again or repeatedly.

-Find the helpers. Point out the first responders and civilians who helped in the emergency.

-Start the discussion with school aged kids. Ask how they are feeling, what questions they have, and clear up any misconceptions.

-Older children and teenagers may want to brainstorm solutions or ways to help.

Link: https://www.mkewithkids.com/post/2018-02-18-tips-for-talking-to-your-kids-about-school-shootings/

11/18/2021

Reminders For Spending Holidays With Family While Healing

04/01/2021

I recently started researching this new form of procrastination, which has become a major issue since the Covid pandemic started.

The concept of bedtime procrastination first came up in a study paper by Dr. Floor Kroese — a behavioral scientist from Utrecht University in the Netherlands — and colleagues.

So how is this “revenge”? Who or what are bedtime procrastinators taking revenge on? Blurred boundaries between work and domestic lives.

Recent studies found that the less enjoyable things a person could do during the day, the likelier it was that they would try to reclaim that time at night and engage in the more pleasurable activities they had not been able to do during the day. The “revenge” aspect of bedtime procrastination comes almost as an act of rebellion against ever-increasing demands at work and at home, which leave many of us little time or energy to invest in leisure activities.

So how can we get better sleep? How to we effectively rest & restore our brains? I’ve done a few podcasts on these topics. Listen to them here: https://anchor.fm/cleaningupthementalmess

03/16/2021

People pleasing is something we learn to do as children when we have to deny our own reality + own emotional state in order to feel loved or bonded.

For a long time, I prided myself on being a people pleaser. I’d been raised in the conditioning that self sacrifice made you a good person.

It made you selfless.

As I became more conscious, I understood it’s actually quite selfish.

It comes from a space of wanting to control another persons perception of myself. It comes from a desire to be seen in a way— to perform as a version of myself that would gain love + approval.

Chronic people pleasing leads to resentment because in the search for that approval we often abandon our own needs, limits, + desires.

As we are clear on our limits + begin to speak our truth more authentically we interrupt this pattern. It can be scary at first. Especially if we let people down or they feel disappointment that we can’t fill our perceived ‘roles.’

With time we see we are healing. We are learning to stop betraying ourselves + begin to develop self trust. Our relationships become more in alignment with who we actually are.

Some questions to ask to become conscious to people pleasing.

1. Am I doing this because I genuinely want to, or because it’s expected of me?

2. If I were to express my own needs or limits; how would this person respond?

3. Am I saying yes to something to avoid the ‘feel bads?’

4. When I say yes or attempt to do something for other people am I expecting a certain outcome or expectation (this might take some deep diving because we often aren’t aware of this. You’ll know you’re doing this if you often feel disappointed or that there isn’t an equal energy exchange with that person

03/14/2021

These Days by Jess Janz

A couple of years ago, my friend called me and started telling me in detail about a venture to the grocery store, when he had just gone for almond milk, and left with 20 other things, knocked something over, and also left without getting almond milk. "Oh my god this is the most boring story in the world, basically what I'm saying is I didn't have a smoothie today because I forgot to get almond milk at the store!" We had a laugh, and then I said, "I love you so I care about everything that happened at the grocery store! I want to know about crashing you cart into a busy woman and knocking over the tower of apples. I want to know about the almond milk for your smoothie."

Now with lock down, it feels like there is nothing new to report and mostly heavy uncertainty clouding my headspace, and the way we are able to connect with each other is with the littlest things. We show each other we love each other by reaching out, talking about the angst, not talking about the angst. Sharing a dog video. Asking for an opinion on mascara that's been sitting in the online shopping cart for two weeks.

Intimacy is knowing about the almond milk.

02/20/2021

When we are in ego-consciousness (unaware of our ego) we believe everything is about us.

We take everything personally.

We take people’s behavior to mean something about who we are.

This leads to a lot of suffering, confusion, + self shaming.

The way people behave is a reflection of their own internal emotional world.

How we speak, how we react, how we cope— are all reflections of our conditioning, our earliest attachments, our communities, + the macro culture we exist in.

When we become the witness, when we objectively observe— we can understand that human beings are walking projections. Projecting their past within the present moment.

This is nothing personal.

We all are interconnected. We all impact each other. People who hurt us, betray us, or shame can cause deep wounds.

People who hurt us, betray us. or shame us also do the same thing to themselves.

When we are conscious. When we are aligned. When we are at peace with self— we are at peace with others.

When we are in an internal battle with ourselves— when we haven’t began the journey of self forgiveness, we judge.

We harm.

Wisdom is knowing that though we like to personalize people’s behavior (it makes the ego feel relevant: “I MATTER. This is about ME.”) it’s also not the truth