04/11/2018
Anyone who knows me knows that I am messy as all get out. I tend to move fast, make things happen, and in the process, I can often make a mess. Mistakes, not cleaning up after myself right away, messes come in all shapes and sizes...
I've certainly had big messes both in my personal/ relationships life and as a parent... and the lesson is this: every mess is an equal opportunity. It is an opportunity to grow and/or teach, if we are talking about being a parent.
Here's a small, common example: at the last minute my daughter begs to go get a haircut (not exciting, but this is my life, right?!) -- it is super tight on time with the dentist and getting home for Jesse's guitar lesson, but I always do my best and try to say yes and go with the flow, trusting it will all work out. Well, occasionally it doesn't: the dentist takes longer than we hoped, traffic is worse than we hoped, it turns out that I had the time of the guitar lesson wrong in my head, and we arrive home 30 minutes late for the 45 minute lesson... it was messy. So, what do we do? Do we let ourselves get all stressed, worked up, fighting each moment as it spins out of control, leading to exactly what we were trying to avoid? Or do we take deep breaths, model what we really are trying to teach our kids (and practice ourselves!), that we always do our best, make as smart choices as we can, and go with the flow, constantly re-evaluating whether we need to make different choices, staying positive and responsive, always visualizing the best... and then, take all of the learning possible from the outcomes? Without beating ourselves up? That's what I try my best to do, show them how I hope they will BE, and in the process, I am getting better at it myself.
That is how I turn the messy moments into beautiful opportunities to teach my kids what I want to teach them: that life isn't always going to turn out the way we hoped, but if we stay true to our core values, over time the outcomes will keep getting better and better.
