18/04/2020
"This moment is an opportunity that comes with great pain and deep lessons. May we create a new way of being so that when generations to come read history books they will be able to hold onto hope. They will see that we chose to conjure something other than more suffering and grief. May they see that we chose to conjure liberation, ease, breath, freedom, space and collective care." - Michelle Johnson
Beloveds, today I sat in meditation and touched into my own grief about all that is swirling around in the atmosphere. I've been talking to so many about their grief, which means I have been holding so many others grief and mine finally bubbled up. I am not sure about all of the things that might be breaking my heart right now, but one thing I am sure about is I am trying to maintain hope while reviewing a history that suggests humanity has a pattern of turning a blind eye to suffering and the causes of suffering, which in turn creates more suffering. We all are suffering but we are not suffering in the same ways. We are not experiencing this moment in the same way. We are not in this together. Our identities, social location, ancestral memories, lived experiences and relationship to power define our experience of COVID-19.
When hope evades me because history haunts, my grief surfaces and I turn towards it, attend to it, breathe, pray and then take another breath as I contemplate what skillful action might look like moment to moment.
When hope evades me because history haunts me, I dig deep and remember my ancestors went through suffering much like the suffering we are facing today. My mind doesn't allow me to remember my ancestral memories but my heart and the earth do.
The will to survive and dare to thrive is in my bloodline.
When hope evades me because history haunts me, I conjure and stir, doing magic calling on all the energies, deities, guides and spirits that might support us in remembering that if we continue to dissociate from the ways in which we cause harm to others and the planet, all we will breed is more suffering. This moment is an opportunity that comes with great pain and deep lessons. May we create a new way of being so that when generations to come read history books they will be able to hold onto hope. They will see that we chose to conjure something other than more suffering and grief. May they see that we chose to conjure liberation, ease, breath, freedom, space and collective care.
Asé