Altruistic Ash

Altruistic Ash a space for black femmes to achieve embodied authenticity by transforming pain into power + healing Ashley C. She is a Licenced Social Worker (NY).

Whiteside, LMSW, is a healer, therapist, doula, and educator. She believes that choosing to heal is a radical act of self-love. Her charge fuels her: to walk alongside Black and Brown femmes (women, girls, feminine identified) as they continue on the ever-evolving process of self-discovery, making adjustments to live in alignment with their desires and express themselves the most authentically. In

her practice, she prioritizes and centers the experiences and healing of Black and Brown femmes. She serves as a guide as clients navigate back to a space of remembering the inherent truth of who they are and desire to be. Ashley has worked in the field of Social Work for over seven years. Her work has centered around her values of community and evolution. Ashley has previous experience working with youth in afterschool programs, community organizing, inpatient intensive substance abuse rehabilitation programs, statewide program implementation, and data collection/analysis in school day treatment programs, community-based family therapy, emergency department psychiatric triage, and inpatient psychiatric hospitalization. Ashley has never lost her passion and focus on serving her community. She worked with Root3d, a community wellness studio, to provide open community groups and a women’s group. From there, she began to offer more community workshops on mental health topics, providing information to the community in an accessible format. Recently Ashley has rejoined the classroom as an educator at The University at Albany, State University of New York, School of Social Welfare. She has taught there for two semesters as a Macro Practice Instructor, teaching sequences I and II for first-year MSW students. She developed a curriculum centered around social justice and equity while meeting CSWE standards. Ashley recently moved to Philadelphia, PA, where she is excited to continue her work supporting clients and the greater community.

⚔️ 8 Types of Boundaries ⚔️ Most folks need to be made aware of the boundaries they can set. So let's go through 8 diffe...
12/10/2022

⚔️ 8 Types of Boundaries ⚔️ Most folks need to be made aware of the boundaries they can set. So let's go through 8 different types of boundaries you can set and what they would look like. Swipe through the various slides and check out what those boundaries could look like below ⬇️
💫Sign up for our Boundaries Workshop on Dec 14 at the link in our bio.

1️⃣ Physical Boundaries - "I've asked you not to rub my back. It makes me feel uncomfortable." "Please move back a little." "This is my private journal. Do not look at it; that violates my privacy."
2️⃣ Sexual Boundaries - "Stop." "Your comment isn't funny; it's sexually inappropriate." "I'm not interested in a sexual relationship with you."
3️⃣ Intellectual Boundaries - "You can disagree without being mean or rude." "I don't think this is an appropriate conversation to have with a child present." "That joke was mean; I'm offended."
4️⃣ Emotional Boundaries - "When I share things with you, I expect you to keep them private between us." "I hear that you have a lot of things going on. I don't feel equipped to help you. Have you considered speaking with a therapist?"
5️⃣ Material Boundaries - "I can't loan you any money." "You can borrow my dress, but if you stain it, you'll have to pay for dry cleaning." "I will loan you money, but I expect the full amount to be paid by Friday."
6️⃣ Time Boundaries - "I am unable to stay late today." "I cannot help you this weekend." "I can help to provide you feedback, but my fee is $75/hour."
7️⃣ Discussion Boundaries - "I won't talk to you if you keep raising your voice." "I feel uncomfortable sharing my feelings. I would feel better if you acknowledged what I'm saying with a nod." "I would like you to just listen; I am not open to feedback right now."
8️⃣ Internal Boundaries - "It's okay for me to feel how I feel in any situation." "I will take my time to process. I will not be rushed to move on." "I will finish what I'm doing, then call them back."

Many thanks to Nedra Glover Tawwab for this structure and examples!

⚔️ Boundary Sentence Starters ⚔️ A common hangup is that people have to figure out what to say when setting boundaries. ...
12/09/2022

⚔️ Boundary Sentence Starters ⚔️ A common hangup is that people have to figure out what to say when setting boundaries. This is something that can be so simple yet so hard. First, be clear with yourself on the boundary or limit. Communicate being as direct and straightforward as possible. Talk in a calm and assertive tone - don't yell or whisper. Next, directly state your need or request, or say no. Identify your expectations or decline the offer.

Remember, it is likely to take communicating and enforcing your boundaries more than once; don't give up just because the behavior doesn't change the first time.

We have more of these juicy tidbits in our monthly Community Care Workshop on Boundaries. Sign up today at the link in our bio. The replay will be made available for those unable to attend live.

⚔️ How to Set Boundaries ⚔️ When it comes to boundaries, we often think that just stating our boundaries is simple enoug...
12/08/2022

⚔️ How to Set Boundaries ⚔️
When it comes to boundaries, we often think that just stating our boundaries is simple enough to get the other person on board with changing their behavior. However, most people neglect to enforce their boundaries which leads to others not taking our boundaries seriously. There are two fundamental components to setting boundaries - Communication & Action, and let's dive more into each of these.

1. Communication 💬 Verbally communicating your needs is step one. In our own error, we assume others can interpret our boundaries through our body language, behavior, or unspoken expectations. No one is a mind reader 🧐 (including you), so when you clearly state what you expect, there is little room for misinterpretation. Communication isn't the end of a boundary, though... You also need 👇🏾

2. Action 🚶🏾‍♀️ To get others to take your boundaries seriously, you must respect your own boundaries and follow through with your behavior. Enforcing your boundaries can have a related consequence when the boundary is violated [think of this as what you will do to keep yourself safe - emotionally, physically, mentally]. Not respecting your boundaries through action is a recipe for resentment and frustration.

Integration: You have a family member who chronically yells at you after drinking alcohol. You tell this family member that you don't like when they yell at you. As a result, you inform them that if they start yelling at you, you will leave the room and resume the conversation once they are calm. At the next family gathering, they consume alcohol and start yelling at you; you decide to leave the house and call to speak with them the next day.

💫 Reminder that it is likely to take communicating and enforcing your boundaries more than once; don't give up just because the behavior doesn't change the first time. 💫

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Vision + Mission

Altruistic Ash works to make the world a more equitable and free place for black and brown women and girls.

Our Mission is to empower black and brown women and girls through education to achieve their dreams.