Gina Moffa, LCSW

It’s a unique feeling after we’ve gone through loss— We tend look back for a while.
We look closer at how things were.
We look deeper at the relationship.
We look at things we wish were different in one way or another.
We look at what we took for granted.

But that’s humanity, right? We rush around from here to there. We are always busy. Our attention spans are shorter. We need to be entertained and wowed on a near constant basis.

But, what happens when the insignificant moments become all you wish for back?

That’s grief.
Wishing we didn’t take for granted all the mundane moments, because that normality… it becomes the comfort we didn’t realize we would miss.

I wish I could say that I never take a call with someone I love for granted, but I’m a clumsy human.
What I can say? I am so much more conscious of the moments that count. The mundane moments of connection—those are things that stick in my heart these days. 💜

✨What moments do you wish you could have back?
✨What mundane moments were your favorite?
I’d love to hear.

Video ID: Gina walking with black pants and black sneakers in London. Gina filming little pieces of life as she walked around Oxford Street in London. .b.peterson narrating.
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Every year on October 10th, we celebrate World Mental Health Day.

This year’s theme is “Making Mental Health & Well-being For All a Global Priority” and we are excited to come together with therapists from around the globe to share our messages with you. (A special thank you to for bringing us together for this 💚)

Therapists in today’s reel:
Samantha ()
Gessica (.gessicadistefano.phd)
Gina (Ginamoffalcsw)
Kelly ()
Emily ()
Maike ()
Kavi (.counsellor)
Bec ()

*Reminder: Today's post is for informational purposes and not a replacement for therapy. Take what you need and if are interested in more individualized mental health support, consider finding licensed therapist in your area.

When we are hurting, grieving, or simply exhausted in every way, it can be hard to remember our goodness.
It can be hard to remember our strength.
Our value in the world.

It can be hard to remember all we have survived and triumphed over in the past.
It can be hard to remember our putting one foot in front of the other to get to another day.

This is my gentle reminder:

Whatever it is with which you are contending, please please don’t forget to put your hand on your heart and remember how strong, beautiful, amazing, and lovable you really are.

When the years seem endless, when the frustration hits its peak, when all you’ve lost piles up so high you can hardly see over your mountain of grief…please, don’t forget to breathe, tend to your needs, and put tenderness with self above all else for a while.

Life can be hard. Exhausting. Overwhelming.
We often forget our worth.
Our inherent courage and strength.
At least for today, I want you to please stop…and remember how good you are and how far you’ve come.

Share/save for when you may need this reminder again! We all do!
💜

Video ID: Gina walking through in the fall.

It’s ok to have wanted it to turn out differently.
To have felt seen, held, loved, and safe.

We may spend half our lifetime trying to get what we always wished to have, but never did from someone who just couldn’t give it.

We seek that love and validation in all the trickiest places then, don’t we?

Of course, why wouldn’t we?
We are just humans in a harsh world trying to feel safe and validated and loved.

It’s ok to grieve what we have never been able to get from another soul in our life.
It’s ok to acknowledge the pain and the years spent wishing things were different.

There is a quote by that has gotten me through some strange moments like this:
“People can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves.”

And, it’s healthier to grieve that loss than to assume they could have met your needs all along.💜

If this resonates for you or someone you know, please share! 🙏🏻

Video ID: Gina walking on a street in Manhattan with the view of brownstones. Narrator says it ok to be disappointed that someone didn’t turn out to be the one, but not to grieve as though they were the one.
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Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got ‘till it’s gone…”

That Joni Mitchell lyric is a classic, because it’s true.

Last Thursday was my birthday, and each year feels more and more reflective for me.
I take inventory of it all…
The people, places, things, needs, the losses, the gains…

Do you do the same?

We seem to understand connection and attachment, but even then, we don’t really really get it until that connection, in the here and now, is no longer.

Loss in our lives is inevitable.
It can, however, be a noble adversary, guide and teacher.

✨Loss teaches us about the depth of love.
✨Loss teaches us about the fragility of time.
✨Loss teaches us about our secret beliefs.
✨Loss teaches us about our feelings and ability to allow them.
✨Loss teaches us about our own inner strength.
✨Loss teaches us about who around us is true and supportive.
✨Loss teaches us about survival and ‘thrival’.
✨Loss teaches us about our attachment.
✨Loss teaches us that deep pain and deep love can coexist at the same time.
✨Loss teaches us about our ability to move on and hold on at the same time.
✨Loss teaches us about the ever elusive mystery of life— our time here is unknown and yet, love and connection lives on past space and time.

It teaches us not to take people, places, and beautiful moments for granted.

To celebrate NOW, not to wait for the right time to see the good, the wins, the beauty, the loving connections around you.

This Monday, I wish you reflection of all that’s around and within you…and to celebrate the small moments, the tiniest of wins!

💜

Share/save if this message resonates with you (or may with someone you love!)

ID: walking through a neighborhood in Milano, Italy. Gina having a birthday celebration with a candle in some fruit (too hot for cake!). The panorama of hills in Switzerland is the last frame. Narration by

Although this reel is a spoof, I want to use it to talk about how we show up for people who are hurting.

Let’s face it (for real)- we don’t spend a whole lot of time caring about others feelings. It can be hard to look up from our busy, chaotic lives and see the pain and heartache of someone around us— and maybe, to be fair, some people just don’t want to.

What can we do for someone around us who is enduring loss?

✨ Show Up—There's no way to stop tears or stop their anguished & pain, but just being present and letting them know that you are ready & willing to be by their side can be more powerful than anything you ever say.

✨Listen— listen with the intention to hear what they are saying, not with the intention to just respond. By you acknowledging their feelings and understanding their experience, this will help them feel heard and supported, and so much less alone in their pain.

✨ Offer Practical Help—even minor tasks can be difficult for people who are experiencing emotional distress. Bring food, offer to help them with their laundry, watch their kids for a few hours, or drive them to the store. Even a small gesture of assistance can make a significant difference, trust me.

For those who are enduring pain, it’s important to get back to basics.
Not sure how?

✨Rest is your friend during this time. Suffering takes endurance.
✨Your body will be holding a lot of this pain and struggle too, so we want to move it, feed and water it, and treat it with radical self care.
✨Boundaries aren’t just good in theory. Say no when you need to, say yes when you want to, and remember to check in with yourself often to know the difference.
✨Ask & accept help - we can’t do this alone, even it is what we may prefer. It can be as basic as asking friends to come over and help with something, or reaching out to a therapist.

No one should ever suffer & endure pain alone. Let’s try to connect more heart to heart. ❤️

(P.S. this audio is not meant to insult anyone, but prove a specific point with some levity).
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A love letter to our own aching, weary hearts. 💜

The state of this world could really get us down, could really take all the hope, the joy, the sense of feeling ok. Don’t let it do that.

Today, we are allowed to focus on love.

Let’s come together and keep showing up in the world to help others, change our communities one person and one moment at a time, and create that sense of goodness ourselves. We can’t stop fighting for that and for the justice needed in this dark world.

But, today…just a little at a time, let’s spread some love around.

Wishing you a beautiful week ahead, friends. 🥰

(A HUGE thank you to an amazing human and new friend, .younger.self, for this audio. Give her a follow!)

What’s so sad about this reel is that it can be a lot of things. Especially now with this time in the world.

Everything feels heavy, everything feels like it’s too much, and we are being asked to continue to thrive over just survive, and continue to produce endless amazing output, and appear like we have it all together… while also being so worn down we can barely move at times. 🫣😩

So, all I wanna say here is that it’s OK if you don’t have it all together right now.
And, it’s OK if you’re in a place where everything just feels hard.

It’s ok if you need to put down the heavy things and rest for a while.

This is grief.
This is trauma.
This is depression.
This is anxiety.

Worse, it may not be obvious to you that you’re even suffering as much as you are. These symptoms can be sneaky. They may not all come at once and may just seem like the “stress” of life, a situation, change, or loss. I encourage you to look deeper!

Coming off the heels of month, all of this above (and in the video) is incredibly common right now. I’m seeing it everyday in my practice, and still, society is moving faster than ever. But, we have to keep bringing awareness to this daily experience for so many.

I don’t wanna inundate you with tips and tricks right now to get through the days were you may just feel listless.
Instead, I just want to say that you have permission to feel whatever it is that you feel, and you have permission to do whatever it is you need to do to nourish and care for your body mind and spirit right now.

All I ask is that you go gently and tenderly at this time, whatever that looks like to you.

You are not alone. 💜

Voiceover credit: The Office

Please save/share if it resonates!
Although, the match up between audio and video got muddled on the transfer from Instagram!

I talk about grief and loss everyday.
I talk about missing people, situations, and things we have lost that were impactful.

But, what if we looked at the losses that were actually healthy for us?
Not that we are happy about this ending, but that in the bigger picture, it was the best thing for us.

Hear me out.
Sometimes, we lose, not by death, but simply by change (or the lack of change) and necessity.

Not everything or everyone is FOR us.
A job that doesn’t feel good anymore.
A partner who betrays us.
A friend who constantly hurts us.
People in our lives who refuse to take accountability for their actions, or who simply make us feel unsafe, unloved, and undervalued.

I’m sure you can think of at least one situation, scenario, or person right now that’s been a painful experience.

Not every goodbye is bad for us, even if it hurts.
Apologies are expensive for some people.
And, not everyone has the same emotional maturity.
Some situations play out over and over again, and nothing changes, as hard as we try.
Boundaries can be our best friend at this time.

It’s sad, really.
We will grieve.
We can feel the loss.
We can regret how it all went down.
We can wish it were different.
We can ruminate on all the possible other outcomes.
We can’t change people, but we can change ourselves.

You have the right to protect yourself in order to feel safe and healthy.

In the end, whatever the ending was, could actually help you to grow, evolve, make space for better, and give the perspective and reminder that you are worthy of being cared for, loved, and treated with respect and regard.

Simply put, sometimes… you just deserve better.

Save/Share for reminders 💜

ID: video moving slowly away from lake to spanning lake. Narration by

Does your identity and self-worth depend on others depending on you? Being the fixer?

Does it depend on doing whatever you can to keep the peace? To keep yourself connected?

You might be “fawning”—a complex trauma response.

With fawning, your brain thinks you will be left alone & helpless if you don’t “do something”. This can lead to doing things to make them happy to cause less of a threat to yourself.

Many find that even when they are aware of fawning behaviour and the negative impacts resulting from it, that it is really, really hard to break out of it as that 'default response'.

This is because it's now a deeply ingrained idea that fawning will create safety.

👉🏼Where did that come from?

Well, simplifying it--- Children who grow up in a healthy environment get their needs met. They then have a balanced approach towards meeting their own needs and helping others.

Children who grow up with parents who don’t provide a healthy environment & don’t get their needs met, learn to get needs met through a survival skill set they learn.

Children need to be loved, so they find ways to get it. They can’t understand that their parents aren't able to give them love or be a healthy/loving caregiver. Instead, the child thinks, “There’s something wrong with me” or “I don’t matter”. This is the type of thinking that leads to action-- fawning is now born.

The hardest thing about this is that kids might fail to develop a sense of self. Their identity is now connected to taking care of others and "fixing things" to remain safe.

When this becomes their template for all relationships, a pattern they repeat throughout their life, they are deprived of enjoying the benefits that meaningful relationships offer - the benefits we all need to thrive, feel loved and fulfill our potential.

For those struggling with the painful effects of the fawning trauma response, therapy is an important source of support and growth. It doesn’t have to be a life long burden.

You don't have to fix anything.
Especially the things you didn't break. 💜

(Share/Save if this resonates!)