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17/09/2025

WHAT I’VE BEEN LEARNING LATELY…

Your body keeps score. Start listening. This isn’t about aesthetics. It’s about alignment.

I used to think healing had to look like constant effort. Daily work. Daily fixing. So when I slipped, I spiraled. I wasn’t kind to myself. I measured my worth by how “healed” I felt.

But God showed me something different.

I started unlearning the pressure to always be healing. Because the truth is, I’m not broken. I was never disqualified. The process wasn’t about fixing..it was about remembering. Remembering I’m already whole. Already loved. Already seen.

I stopped chasing the healed version of me like she was somewhere far off. She’s already here. I’m already her.

Now I move from grace. I let my body rest. I let my emotions speak without shame. I don’t need to perform wholeness. I live in it.

10/08/2025

Stop following your mood. Start following your plan.

Your mood will change. Your brain will wander. But your discipline will keep you in position for the promise.

Proverbs 16:3 says, Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.
 That means your job is to show up, even on the days your feelings tell you not to.
And Hebrews 12:11 reminds us, No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace. That “later” is worth it.

Sis, your consistency is an act of faith. Stick to the plan. God is in the follow-through.

08/08/2025

I didn’t know I was mothering my inner child until it happened.

I grew up poor and in foster care. At summer camp, I’d watch the other girls with their little reading lamps, tucked under their blankets with books. I thought it was the coolest thing. I wanted one so bad. That want faded with time.

Then, out of nowhere, I felt the urge to buy a reading lamp. No big reason. No overthinking. I bought it. When it came, I ripped open the box like it was Christmas morning. I locked myself in the darkest room and turned it on.

The light hit my Bible. My heart swelled. I realized I wasn’t just reading. I was feeding little Veneé. I was giving her something she had always wanted.

Sometimes mothering your inner child looks like a $15 lamp and a quiet moment.

Sometimes it’s finally saying, “I see you, girl. I got you.”

07/08/2025

You’re not crazy for overthinking. You’re not needy for wanting clarity. But spiraling over a text that never came will drain you.

Sometimes silence is protection. Sometimes delay is redirection. Sometimes the lack of closure is the answer.

Here’s your reminder: You don’t need their response to feel secure. You need God’s voice to feel steady.

Read this out loud when your mind starts spiraling: Isaiah 26:3 (NLT) “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You.”

Repeat this. Sit with it. Let it rewire the panic.

06/08/2025

People tell you to have more faith.
 But they don’t tell you how to hold on to it when your brain won’t slow down.

They say trust God.
 But they don’t explain what to do when that trust feels buried under shame, brain fog, and a million tabs open in your head.

Here’s the truth: Faith isn’t a feeling. It’s a practice. And when you have ADHD, you need to build it differently.

Try this:
1. Stop waiting for perfect focus to pray
2. Pick one scripture and repeat it often
3. Create anchors, not routines
4. Use your body to remind your mind

You don’t need more pressure. You need more presence.
 And God’s already meeting you where you are.
Save this for the days when your faith feels fragile.

05/08/2025

ADHD, God, and Me

She looks like she has it together.
 She shows up, gets it done, keeps the receipts.
 But inside, her brain is screaming.

Here’s what ADHD looks like in grown women who love God and handle business:

* She starts 3 tasks, finishes none, and blames herself.
* She misses deadlines, not because she doesn’t care, but because time feels slippery.
* She zones out during prayer and feels ashamed.
* She overcommits, then shuts down.
* * She’s either on fire or on empty. No in between.

And she’s tired. Of masking. Of overexplaining. Of wondering why the things that help everyone else make her feel worse.

ADHD in women gets missed because we’re too busy surviving. Too busy being “strong.” Too busy performing stability.

But God sees it all. The overwhelm. The panic. The pain under your productivity.
You are not your chaos. You are not a failure. You are not less faithful because your brain functions differently.

You’re still called. Still chosen. Still covered.

If this hit, drop a “me” in the comments so you know you’re not the only one.

04/08/2025

When You’re Doing the Work But Still Feel Empty

You’re praying You’re journaling You’re trusting God You’re practicing gratitude
 You’re trying to stay soft, stay surrendered, stay open
But something still feels off
 Like you’re doing everything “right” and still don’t feel full

You’re not falling apart, but you’re not exactly glowing either
 And honestly… that space can feel the loneliest

So how do you keep showing up as her when you feel disconnected?

You remember this:
💭 Being the it girl isn’t about being put together all the time 💭 It’s about letting God meet you in your mess, not just your milestones 💭 You can be holy and hurting, chosen and confused, strong and still needing help 💭 You don’t have to fake joy to prove you have faith 💭 You’re allowed to be grateful and still feel what’s missing

It’s okay to be tired It’s okay to not know why you feel the way you feel It’s okay to need comfort more than clarity
You’re still her
 Because being her is about being honest

Tag a homegirl who might need this reminder today.

22/07/2025

🚨OAKLAND. OCTOBER 17. 5:30PM.
 You didn’t hear this from me… but something different is pulling up.

It’s not a panel. It’s not a boring mixer. It’s not a networking event. It’s a REVIVAL! And every creative soul in the Bay who’s tired of surface-level convos and gatekept energy needs to be in this room.

🎨 The Creative Kickback.
 An intimate, curated experience for BIPOC artists, dreamers, and doers to connect, be poured into, and LEAVE LIT UP.
 Workshops. Music. Creative prompts. Real talk. A BLOOM BAR. 👀
 Details? Coming Soon! Turn on your notifications.  Location? Secret. Vibes? Immaculate.

💌 Wanna host a mini-workshop? Sponsor? Collaborate? Slide in my DMs NOW.
 🕯 This isn’t just for you — it’s for your creative bestie, your poet homeboy, your designer cousin. Send this to them!!
 📌 Save this. Bookmark it. Don’t play.

Tickets drop soon. And when they do?
 Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

22/07/2025

Before there was Dear Homegirl, there was just the strong friend.
 The one pouring into everyone else. Watering grass that never grew back. Holding space for people who didn’t always hold space for me. Wearing independence like armor, and thinking, “Maybe if I keep giving, someone will see me.”

And then…I broke my ankle. And for the first time in a long time, I had no choice but to sit down. To be seen. To receive. To let people help me! Not because I was weak, but because I was worthy of care.
That’s when it hit me: Being the strong friend was never about strength, t was about fear. I was afraid to be a burden. Afraid to need. Afraid that being seen would make me unsafe.

But healing…real healing…equires visibility. And this injury? As painful as it’s been? It cracked me wide open and revealed a truth I needed to face: I don’t want to do life alone. I’m not as independent as I pretended to be. I love being helped. And more than that, I deserve to be helped.
That’s where Dear Homegirl was born. From the version of me that finally chose softness. From the girl who finally realized: Being seen isn’t a threat…it’s a gift.
 And I’m finally learning to unwrap it.

This is my soft girl era.
 Not because I’m broken—but because I’m brave.
 And I know I’m not the only one.

So if you’re the strong friend too… Welcome home, sis. 💌

17/07/2025

Hey homegirl,
 i’ve been quiet. and not the “resting and journaling in the sun” kind of quiet. the kind where everything hurts—physically, emotionally, spiritually. two weeks ago, i broke my ankle and it’s broken more than just bone. it’s broken my rhythm, my plans, and honestly… a little bit of my joy.
i haven’t had the energy to pour, to post, to encourage—even though that’s what

Dear Homegirl is all about. but if this space is really gonna be safe and soulful, i have to show up in my truth too.
 and the truth is: i’m healing. slowly. and it’s hard.
so if you’ve been in a low place too—this post is for you. we’re still God’s girls, even when we’re laid out. still chosen. still held. still deeply loved.

i’m not “back” yet. but i’m here. and that’s enough for today. 🩵
 —venee

20/06/2025

I used to think I’d be whole once I got the proposal. The husband. The babies. The picture-perfect life.

I believed wholeness lived on the other side of being chosen. That once I arrived at those milestones, I’d finally feel secure, happy, enough.
And for a while, I got some of those things.
 But instead of joy… I felt empty. Instead of peace… I felt pressure. Instead of clarity… confusion.

Because the truth is: I had built my happiness on outcomes. My self-love was conditional. 
I only felt good about myself when life looked good on paper. When I was validated by someone else. When I was praised. Posted. Picked.
But that kind of love is fragile. And the moment it shifts or leaves… so does your sense of self.

So how did I heal?
I chose myself. I stopped begging God for a love story and started asking Him to restore me. I sought His heart, not just His hand. I started showing up for my life, even if no one else was showing up for me.
I got in my Bible. I got in the gym. I got in therapy. I got honest.

I stopped centering men and started centering truth. That I was never incomplete. That I wasn’t created to be a half waiting for a whole. That I am already full, already loved, already enough.
Marriage is a blessing, not a bandage. A chapter, not the whole story.
 And I’m not going to wait to be chosen by a man to start living like I’m loved by God.

✨Something to sit with: What would change if you stopped treating your single season like a holding room… and started treating it like holy ground?

20/06/2025

Dear Homegirl,

Freedom hits different when you realize it’s not just about chains that were broken…but mindsets, relationships, systems, and identities we’re still unlearning to this day.

Juneteenth isn’t just a history lesson.
 It’s a heart check.
 A reminder that we can be free on paper and still feel trapped in patterns, silence, or survival mode.

So today, I’m celebrating more than just the emancipation of a people:
 I’m celebrating the liberation of Black women who are still choosing to heal, rest, rise, and be soft in a world that demanded we be everything but.

✨ You don’t have to shrink to be safe. ✨ You don’t have to be strong to be seen. ✨ You are allowed to be fully free…emotionally, spiritually, historically.

Happy Juneteenth, sis. Let joy be your resistance. Let rest be your revolution. Let God be your freedom.

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