06/02/2025
Todays ranty blahblahblah.
When you love someone you should be ALL IN. This life is too short and to fragile to waste time loving someone half way. Love with ALL your vulnerability. Hold NOTHING BACK. Love like it's your last fckng day. Doesn't require grandiose sh*te...just make the effort to KNOW your companion KNOWS you care when It's NOT convenient...not just when it's easy.
It can take years to learn the nuanced ever-changing patterns and needs of a companion. Same for trust...and if a companion feels disgusted and unworthy enough w themself..they will worry about straying, cheating, walking away. Regardless the side of this youre on...you must be willing to try to talk...thus...changes will occur with wants, desires, needs and comfort on ALL sides...enjoy, explore and EMBRACE the growth. Enjoy the opportunity to learn new things FOR and WITH your companion.
Learn each other's strengths and weaknesses. That is part of the "handshake" agreement THAT IS a partnership. If I have a strength(s) my companion doesnt...it is MY JOB to ALWAYS be ready to handle/help with that topic. Regardless of what it costs me. I am here FOR my spouse. Not AGAINST. If my companion has a strength(s) I do not, I can expect my companion to help or handle. This is a trust building validation to showing you care about your companion.
Gender matters not. A man should effort respecting and loving the feminine dignity of his wife. The woman should reciprocate in kind. I am not discounting LGBTQ at all. I am speaking from My HEART...but this applies to ALL LONG TERM COMPANIONSHIPS. Sacrifice is a foundational result when you TRULY love someone. One must be willing to consider how their needs make their companion feel (perhaps emotional/physical/spiritual action is problematic for a companion) as well. Don't just yank toys out of the toy box after encouraging playing w said toys. It's f**kong confusing and savage to do to a companion.
C O M M U N I C A T I O N. MUST. BE. TRUTHFUL. Once that is lost. Youre Sofa King done.
Differences in comfort responses to one's needs DO NOT REQUIRE affirmative/demanded action of stated needs....but it DOES REQUIRE YOU LISTEN AND COMMUNICATE. A K N O W L E D G E YOUR FKNG COMPANION.....before someone else does.
You can't just TAKE away intrinsically established needs and wants without recognition and respectful dialogue. We seek out companionship to feel safe. Not ignored. Not dismissed. Not made to feel like they are on the standby standby priority list...if they're lucky enough to even be on a waiting list. Certainly a companion DOESNT want to feel like they are a constant chore. It is devastating over time.
Once a companions confidence is gone. Once a companion stops fighting for themselves...once "im great. Im fine. No problems" becomes the default setting.....its too late. Said companion has given up on their own needs and wants. Accepted they are FKD..... A Simple "occasional" $100 winning lotto tickets dont cut it AT ALL. I'd rather have 20 $5 winners than a single $100 winner. It keeps one motivated to always try. Equally...I DESERVE occasional $100/$1000/$10,000 winners too. Perhaps birthdays....things like that. This applies to everyone in a long term relationship. Make the effort. Days are numbered. Life is short.
If you've turned off... at least make the other person whole to the best of your ability...no point in BOTH flooded w IDEATION problems....
Talk. Open the FK up. Embrace difficult communication/topics. Allow your companion to FEEL SAFE discussing their emotions with you.
1) Let them get it out and HEAR their pain. You need NOT agree. You DO NEED to acknowledge it without judgement. Once established and the topic properly discussed.....you also MUST be allowed to share how this topic makes YOU feel as well...but AFTER the person coming to you has had their topic addressed. Don't punish for a companion asking you to do better. That is a death sentence for a relationship.
2) Empathy. If you actually LOVE someone...empathetic understanding is reasonably possible even without agreeing.
3) Make sure your companion can see your effort...not for points...but to ACTUALLY comfort them. Show them they are WORTH something. It also shows a companion that you see and understand thier feelings because you didnt HAVE TO ASK FOR COMFORT. Make sure they can see you can be vulnerable and open because you DONT want your companion to be in pain...even if you cant (or won't even) provide the needed support repeatedly asked for.
3a) DONT MAKE A MAN (I would think man/woman is same) BEG.
3b) If you require to be ASKED EVERY TIME it makes a man feel unwanted, unneeded, undesired and it destroys him from the inside out..buy the time you see it....its too late. (Again. Speaking as a MAN. Rule v exceptions)
If you are part of a "we".... you owe it to your companion. It is an investment for you both. Unlimited power......your love and support helps your companion feel safe supporting you. You in turn feel supported and want to support your companion...rinse and repeat....perpetual energy.
A little "excitement" about sharing changes in your life is not only supportive but it keeps you learning with and about your companion, providing interesting/fun/educational and moments for you to self evaluate and self evaluation as well.
We are not bottomless pits of despair nor are we bottomless supplies of unreciprocated support.
It's each companions job to move with their companion through this life. That's the whole point yeah? Your companions will change bits and pieces as they grow and learn so one should always be on the Lookout for simple ways to address, embrace, involve and comfort.
This MUST (should and can) trickle down to your inner circle and family.
Sincerely,
A Man.
A Father.
A Husband
A friend.
A Dark Empath.
A Warrior.
