13/06/2021
I was on a roll. Consistency was my superpower. Working out was my stress reliever. Eating well was my norm. Sharing what Beachbody’s trainers and programs had done for me was my jam and helping others redefine their lifestyles was my calling.
Covid started. I leaned in and stayed consistent. My friends and clients joined me on daily zoom videos to workout together. We were doing the best we could to take care of ourselves.
Then school started and my dad became very ill. I kept on working out but it was different. I felt myself using exercise as a stress reliever more than ever. Sounds okay except that the thing with stress is that’s it’s very temperamental. Some days stress makes you want to bounce off walls so exercise seems like a great idea. But other days, stress can cause you to crash emotionally and physically. The kind of crash that has you curled up under a blanket watching mindless tv. Working out is the last thing that your body craves. Eating well becomes less of a priority as your body craves comfort from wherever it can get it.
Then my dad passed away. I felt as if my body took a huge exhale after he passed. It felt as if all of the stress I’d been carrying around for my dad for the past few weeks, months, no…decades, all simultaneously resurfaced and left me. Something else happened, I retreated. Looking back now, the best way I can explain it is to compare it to someone that is in the most physically draining fight or athletic endevour of their life. You give it your all; mind, body and soul. You can feel yourself at your breaking point several times and you push past it each times because you know you have to. You make it to the finish line and then you feel like you can’t give anything more. You think “I just need to rest for a bit”. If you’re not careful though, the little bit of rest can turn into months or years of remaining depleted.
I think that’s what happened to me. I gave it my all with my dad. I was depleted.
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