03/22/2026
Life may have slowed her a bit, but she is still the beautiful, vibrant woman she always has been.
Bernice (née F.) U. long ago traded in her stylish suits and high heels for more practical (albeit fashionable) slacks, blouses, and loafers.
Her home is now arguably the most beautifully decorated room in Assisted Living. A daughter carefully curates pieces from her motherâs house, periodically replacing seasonal wreaths and decor. Spring, with its beautiful pastels, is starting to arrive.
Almost daily Bernice is visited by one of her five children. Each has a unique relationship with her. One will drop in to talk life updates. Another will make himself comfortable and kick back in her recliner. Together they snack as they cheer on her favorite team.
Her life today is a revolving door of loved ones, each wanting to give back to a woman who has given so much.
Grandchildren drop in with great-grandchildren in tow. All speak of her impact and importance.
She is especially excited on those days when sheâs off to share in family milestones and meals.
Just as each mother and child relationship is unique, so, too, are her many connections with staff and fellow residents.
From her first day here, Bernice has added new friends and happily reconnected with old.
Bernice is always ready to join in on social gatherings. She asks that she be woken up from naps for company and activities.
When asked to join in, she smiles, grabs her âCadillacâ (aka walker)- and heads out to bake, join in on choir, crafts, reminiscing, rosaries, and Mass.
Bernice is genuinely witty -and surprisingly quick with her observations and comebacks.
When teased by one of her adult children about some bit of family lore, she winks, drops her jaw in feigned astonishment, laughs, and joins in the fun.
One son recounts a time when he misbehaved, and his mother leveled a memorable punishment. âI wasnât allowed to watch âThe Red Skelton Showâ that night.â
She laughs as she shares a long-ago incident when another of her sons repeatedly jumped up and down on the heat grate in their old farmhouse -and was sent crashing through to the floor below.
She is filled to the brim with memories that evoke joy and capture the chaos of family life.
Bernice is that rare optimist who views both the past and present through a positive lens.
She is always quick to share, âYou know, I have truly been blessed.â
At Christmas she was anxious to show off a lit, framed Christmas tree that her late husband Jim fashioned out of her old broaches. A battery- powered Easter bunny now sits on her counter. To entertain staff, she presses its paw -and it boogies to an upbeat tune.
Berniceâs story began over ninety years ago with a childhood steeped in faith and family tradition.
Born at home to William and Catherine F., Bernice remembers a time when rural families pulled together and thrived. Like many others who lived through the Great Depression and WWll, she remembers how simple joys were considered great blessings.
âWe didnât have social media. We all just helped each other -and got along.â
Bernice boasts of having escaped the potential dangers of romping in the haymow with siblings and cousins. She recalls the pick-up games of soft ball -and remembers competitive games of âAndy, Andy, Overâ (âAnte Overâ).
William and Catherine worked tirelessly to provide for their five children. Her father was seemingly âgruffâ -but at heart a protective and good-hearted man. Catherine was soft-spoken and âso, so kind.â Both parents instilled in their offspring the importance of faith.
Bernice shares that their entire family worked for the good of the whole. Her mother stretched the budget by keeping a large garden.
The children worked alongside their parents, milking, tending the livestock, tilling and weeding in the garden and field -and stocking the root cellar and smokehouse.
Their faith and their harvest held their fortune. Farm work was an extension of their Catholic faith: it was (and still is) seen as a vocation.
Bernice vividly remembers one particular day when, alongside her mother, she helped butcher thirty-five chickens. Bernice dropped the newly beheaded chickens into a clay tile that kept them from flopping and flailing about. William not only worked the farm tirelessly, he also contracted out, bailing for others.
The family learned early on the need to make do. If one of the children refused to eat the noon meal, Catherine would say, âIf you donât want to eat it for lunch, you can have it for supper.â
Mealtime was family time. What was a Sunday without the company of extended family seated around the table? Together theyâd talk, laugh -and pass platters of delicious fried chicken and heaping bowls of mashed potatoes.
The aroma of pies and freshly baked bread filled the air.
About Mass attendance as a child, Bernice remembers a long-ago ritual of children sitting separate from their parents. The nuns kept watch over them.
Bernice attended Country School -and marvels that a lone teacher perfectly delivered a well-rounded educated to children ages six to thirteen.
She would later attend school in nearby Glandorf, Ohio.
Once in high school, Bernice added cheerleading and band to her busy life. She enjoyed her social life -but recalls her parents enforced strict rules.
Once, having missed curfew, Bernice was told to kneel down by their bed and pray an entire rosary as her father half listened, half slept.
It was during this time a handsome school athlete first took notice of her.
Her heart nearly burst when James U. glanced her way and delivered a furtive wink.
Before long she became an avid sports fan who, along with other lucky girls, sat in the stands, holding the ring and watch of her favorite player. She would also root Jim on when he played for the âFrogtown Froggies,â a summer softball team.
As soon as she graduated, Jim proposed. Bernice laughs as she recounts their shared surprise when they visited the courthouse to secure a marriage license.
The clerk said there could be no license issued, as there was no record Bernice ever existed. The town doctor had failed to register her birth. Bernice had to return with an older relative who signed papers validating her existence.
Their beautiful wedding took place on a Rogation Day at St. Anthonyâs in Columbus Grove, Ohio.
The reception that followed offered meals throughout the day-and an open dance.
Bernice still blushes when she recalls her dramatic entrance to the hall after the ceremony. Her borrowed crinoline, meant to add volume to her wedding dress, was too big. With a âwhooshâ it dropped to the floor. Her beet red face -and Jimâs gentlemanly reaction, started the party with a hearty laugh.
After a honeymoon to Florida, the lovebirds returned, stopping by the see her parents first. As they drove their trusty car, âOld Blue,âdown the lane, Berniceâs mother faked grief, saying âOh no! I just KNEW he was going to give her back!â
The newlyweds moved into a house trailer they purchased. It sat next to Jimâs homestead on acerage he had farmed since he was twelve. He would continue to farm this land for most of his life.
While living in the trailer, they purchased their first television -and welcomed their first child. They set up a nursery in the narrow hallway to accommodate a crib.
One day Berniceâs mother-in-law casually called over, âWhy donât you just move into the house with us?â
And, they did.
Everyone reaped the rewards of a multi-generational home.
âI just loved my in-laws;
I used to call them âmy outlaws.ââ
As is the case in any marriage, the couple would sometimes have disagreements.
âIf we ever argued, we always made sure we spoke out of earshot of our children; a parentâs job is to protect children from everything, including worry.â
âWe also enjoyed doing things as a couple. Iâve noticed married couples today like to take separate vacations. I think itâs important to spend your time together.â
With her mother-in-law providing childcare,
Bernice returned to work at Phillips, a local plant. One day changed everything.
Bernice cried when her mother-in-law greeted her with what was becoming an all too common inquiry, âGuess what the baby did today?â
Bernice felt the sting of having missed milestones. She worried about life moving forward.
âI told Jim I wanted to raise my own children.â
Jim supported her decision, even taking on extra work to make it possible.
In just a few years, four more children arrived.
Bernice cherishes her memories of being a mother to young children. She loved the joyful give and take of family life.
She truly adored and cherished Jim.
âI just loved him. He was the kindest, sweetest man.â
Living at the homestead meant helping host family holidays. Christmases were especially memorable. Her mother-in-law always reminded the holiday gathering, âTheyâll be no drinking in front of Baby Jesus.â The nativity was displayed front and center in the living room.
To accommodate her, the men secretly set up a makeshift bar in the laundry room,
hidden under a towel. It added an element of humor and excitement.
In time Bernice and Jim became his parentsâ caregivers. When his now- widowed mom became too ill to use the stairs, Bernice and Jim traded rooms with her-and listened carefully for the ring of her bell. She felt loved and safe. They were grateful to give back.
As their children aged, the couple devoted more time to attending their many school activities. Life was chaotic and fun.
âNo one ever truly warns you how quickly the years go by.â
The couple became travelers, visiting all fifty states and twenty-three countries.
Bernice was as nuanced as any woman of her day. The lady who helped milk thirty-six dairy cows each day also served as the President of the Altar Rosary Society at St. Johnâs. She busied herself with volunteer work, a tangible way of helping others and giving back.
At a pace that required patience and dedication, the couple ultimately built a modern ranch house to enjoy the next season of their life.
âJim and I were always happy. Even when we had very little, we felt lucky.â
Eventually the two found themselves empty nesters -and as grandparents, they shifted their focus on their childrensâ children.
Together they studied to become insurance agents. They were always a team.
Jim was the first to get his license. Later, Bernice studied for the state test by riding along with him in the combine.
Sheâs ask him questions, and he in turn would quiz her.
Life was always an adventure with this man who supported her as much as she supported him.
Together they established a thriving branch of German Mutual Insurance.
They had built up trust and friendships, and in this chapter, that meant an extensive clientele. Berniceâs genuine warmth and Jimâs farming acumen paid off.
Both found unexpected joy in reinventing their lives. Bernice traded in her jeans and work boots for high heels and fashionable suits.
They received awards for their business. At one convention they received a sealed envelope. Their insurance branch was the companyâs top seller that year.
Jim opened the envelope when they were back in their room, and the two looked at each other wide-eyed. They were stunned to see so many zeros. In a moment of pure joy, they celebrated by kicking off their shoes and jumping up and down on the bed.
Throughout their marriage, Bernice helped Jim fulfill his myriad roles in both church and civic life.
When Jim eventually faced a health crisis, both faith and family saw her through. She had never imagined life without him.
The handsome boy who once trusted Bernice with his watch and ring -had spent a lifetime long trusting her with his heart.
One day, while praying in the hospital chapel, Bernice experienced a miracle that calmed her heart and eased her grief in letting go.
The day her beloved Jim was buried, her concerned children asked which one of them should stay with her. They planned to do their best to help her transition into life as a widow.
Steadied by her faith, Bernice replied, âIâm okay. I need to put on my big girlâs pants -and make my way forward on my own.â
Bernice misses her sweet husband -and marvels that the two of them were so lucky in love.
Great-grandchildren continue to add another layer of beauty to that love she and Jim shared.
James U. remains a part of her. He is alive to her heart and memory. He remains a part of her daily decisions and prayers. Talking about him evokes joy, not tears.
Bernice is blessed by past, present, and future.
For now she is content to find the simple joys in each day. She has no doubt that one day eternity will reunite her with her husband -and usher in joy unutterable.
