Love, betrayal and deceit. A blog

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Okay everyone listen up. Prayers please I'm going into surgery here soon to have some beds or deep rated and I'm going to have an ostomy bag for now just temporary so so the bed sores will heal. So please pray for me I'll let y'all know when I get out of surgery


Our new Series " I am Cold: The story of Indrid, part one" is now available. A huge thank you to Connor J Randall - Paranormal for lending your voice you and insights for this first part you are incredible. Also to Taunia Derenberger-Bowman for being part of this first part of the series, thanks for keeping this story alive. Last but not least Chris Des Marias for all your hard work and dedication. Follow Chris at his MUFON South Carolina group.
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People wonder how I took what I took for so long sometimes you're blinded by the pain sometimes your blinded by the Ecstasy sometimes you're just blinded. And sometimes you just don't think you're going to leave. It took him just throw me out put me in a nursing home and marry my lover. She stole my husband I hope she's getting what I got. I hope she's being abused like I was and then she'll see what kind of a man he is. I know it's not nice to Hope anybody's abused. So maybe helping she's abused is it the right thing and I'm sorry. Can't help who you fall in love with and he wasn't like this when we first got married he was a mild-mannered man. But when you got abusive he really got abusive. Then I find out he was a pe*****le he abused s*xually our own children. I know they don't want that revealed but it's part of the story. The rest of the story is continued.


Well I'm finally going to break the final tie that binds me to Kirk. At least I guess you could call it that. I've done a name change paperwork to change my name from Bowman and I'm going to get it filed tomorrow Tuesday.


I’ve taken many psychology courses, including abnormal and developmental psychology classes while getting a Bachelor of Science, but I’m not a doctor or a licensed mental health professional. I’m just someone who has extensively researched...


Okay first happy 2022 I hope everyone's rested and well. I apologize for this book not being out yet but I've had some things come up of my own that are beyond My control. And then as you all know the holidays don't help. So hopefully I'll be back at this book out in the next couple of months. And as usual if you're having problems that you can't handle you don't know what to do feel free to message me and I'll go back with you soon as I can. Peace love and happiness


1. You walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting your partner. 2. Your feelings and opinions are rarely validated.


For some..Lies and Deception come all too easily, it is done so often they don't even know what is true and what is a lie. They have no conscience and believe that consequences won't apply to them.... this is the way of a COWARD. Rest Assured, I stand by my word and there will be consequences to pay ..


Living with a man who shows you love and treat you like a queen that turns into a sadistic Psychopathic narcissist is not easy. In my book you'll read all about what it was like. Everybody says I could have gotten out but when he plays mind games and tells you but since you're in a wheelchair you can't get along without him and convinces you of that it's not as easy as you think. I was diagnosed with battered women's syndrome shortly after I finally got out of the relationship. But it wasn't until he put me in a nursing home after having a doctor I never saw diagnosed me with dementia. I soon learned that he did all that to hook up with my best friend an ex-lover. I wanted out of that relationship but he didn't. When you read the book you'll find out all the lies he told me and convince me of. Also during the custody battle for our son he kept telling me we were going to get back together it was just going to take time. He was still able to convince me I don't know what kind of hold he has over me but I believed him. I moved West Virginia thinking I was going to get custody of my son and while I went to Cleveland for the custody hearings I was in longer convinced. It's still very hard but I'm trying to get over it which is not easy. Even though it's been 7 years I'm still not over it. I hope this helps other people.


You can read some of the start of the book on the love betrayal and deceit site. I hope you like it please like it and share it. The more likes this page and the other one get the more I'm willing to share.


Okay since I haven't been blogging on this page I think it's time I started. I'm hoping this book will help other women that were in my situation. It's going to be about 23 years of loving someone but being controlled. It will be about a marriage full of mental, emotional, physical and even s*xual abuse. And yes s*xual abuse does happen even in a marriage. I was forced to do things I didn't want to do by a man I was married to because I was in a wheelchair and convinced I cannot live on my own or live without him. I was also told several times I could not divorce him because I tried I would be dead. He also threatened to harm my children and my mother. I was forced to find a girlfriend to have s*x with well he joined and even video us. This is very difficult for me to talk about especially now even 7 years later. But I guarantee this is a book you're not going to want to put down. My children were physically abused well all I can do is watch. I did my best to protect them especially my youngest. But while I was in a wheelchair and threatened by a man I was married to. It wasn't like this in the beginning our first five years together for absolute Bliss. But then when he turned to doing drugs again which when his father was alive I thought I had cured him from he turned out to be a different man. Still today I'm having nightmares about those days that I thought I had put the memories behind me but for some reason they're returning. I was also told that if I did divorce him and get away from him that if I ever got married again he would harm my family. I want to fall in love again I want to meet someone that I can love and be loved by but being in a wheelchair it's very difficult. And I am so afraid of finding someone and falling in love because I'm afraid that since I am in a wheelchair and can't really defend myself I might need the same type of man. More later


I know it's been a while since I posted and I apologize I've been sick be posting soon


You know when you find out that your narcissistic EX was also a pe*****le it's scary especially when you didn't know anything was going on. I wish I had known them I feel like going up to Lakewood Ohio where he lives and give him a taste of his own medicine somehow. If anybody wants to know his name I'm here is Kirk r Bowmam it's supposed to be Bowman but he's changed it for some reason probably to hide and his wife is Mary Stuart bowman. I myself in the next week or so I'm going to court and having my name changed to have the Bowmab taken off I don't want to have any thing to do with him anymore.


Okay I know it's been awhile since I've written anything but here goes restart the song from what's like I set it off my last post did you ever fall in love with someone and you're wondering if it was the right thing to do? I'm wondering at now we have a long distance relationship and we've never met we've exchanged pictures we talked a couple times on the phone you don't call me I can't call him but now it seems he's too busy to message me and when we first met we talked all the time. So I can't help but wonder if there's someone else in the picture or it's what he's telling me the truth is that more hours than you can handle at work and he's got to get redo his bathroom and it's kitchen although I thought those were wintertime projects. I don't know if anybody's got any suggestions I mean I love him and he says he loves me he just doesn't seem to have time for me. Well I'm going to let him make the next gesture. And Randy I hope you read this because I can't wait forever I promise you exclusivity but right now I don't even know if I can make that promise because I'm lonely rather keep that promise well I'm going to try next step is yours dear.


Ever get into a relationship and wonder if you got into it too fast? I know that was my relationship with Kirk. And I think I did it again at least he's not a narcissist like Kirk was. We just still have what I feel is a third party in this in as he has a girl special needs who has on his profile that he's her boyfriend. He says he loves me very much it's also a long distance relationship I live in Parkersburg West Virginia he lives in Delaware we've never met except online. I think my problem when I fall in love I do it quickly what else to do it deeply as much as this guy means to me I don't want to break his heart but I don't want mine broken again either I couldn't handle it. I don't know maybe I just need to step back and re-evaluate my life. They just everything's upfront with this guy or seems to be. Or am I a complete idiot? Do I really think I need a guy to make me complete yes I really think I need a guy to make me complete I have a lot of love to give I don't want to give that someone but I want to be able to hug you and hold him and kiss them and tell him in person how much I love him. So I don't know if anybody has any suggestions I'm open.


You know I have found through the years but sometimes you can push too hard and sometimes you can push. Hard enough there's a fine line between too much and too little I just event after 47 years I would find that line. But somehow I never learn. I didn't push back hard enough try and keep my husband and I just pushed you hard and pushed your way. Maybe someday I'll learn.


I belong to several Facebook groups on narcissism and you do the same thing over and over are controlling a person was. oh they made you feel like nothing are they made you feel like you couldn't do without them that's absolutely true and it's the way I was treated. Before I got into a wheelchair I thought we were soulmates we were two of a kind pick up and go places on the weekends leave the kids with a sitter have a great time but he started getting more controlling when I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and end up in a wheelchair and then since my confidence is down and my guard was down I started to believe in that I couldn't do it without him that I needed him and I had to have him it's only now that I'm actually getting my confidence back now that I'm living out in the community. even when I was in a nursing home I was depending on people I'm am still dependent on an aide AKA my daughter but she makes me do things by myself before she'll help me unless there's something that you know that I absolutely cannot do. I try to convince my other two daughters that I was married to a narcissist and thus I was diagnosed with battered women's syndrome because even though I was not physically abused I was mentally and emotionally abused. Whittled down to believing I had to depend on someone help me believing that I couldn't do without him. I'm not going to lie I still have my days I still have my days when I miss him I basically I think that's because I don't know why she left me for my best friend oh who am I kidding he left me for my girlfriend I broke up with her and he picked her up you know what they say about sloppy seconds. the only thing I can figure out is the fact that she's able to walk and do things I couldn't do. But even at the end even when we are separated he kept trying to tell me we were going to get back together you got my hopes up he told me he loved me more than her as he was breaking up with me. So women if you're in a narcissistic relationship by all means do anything you have to do to get out you're better than that you don't need to be beat up a mentally and emotionally no one deserves that.


Narcissism is a mental health disease. But you can't tell the narcissist that because they won't listen they think they're right. I was married to a narcissist for 23 years we were together for two years before that and I never saw the signs. I'll bet I'll see the signs next time. Problem with a narcissist besides the fact that they're always right LOL is the fact that they have to be controlling they have to control every situation. Everything from paying the bills they're going to the grocery store she keeping you right by their side at Walmart. It's hard to get out of a narcissistic relationship unscathed. If it's the narcissist it's doing leaving which it really is unless you're leaving for someone knew because they think they've used you all up they'll never tell you why. And it's hard to get out of a narcissistic relationship without crying a lot of tears because you loved them. So if you're in a narcissistic relationship and you're even if you're the one that does the leaving you're going to need some mental health help and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with your mental health except that you love the wrong person and unfortunately we can't control who we actually fall in love with. With mine we were two of a kind and according to my doctor when I first started seeking mental health help because he left me for my best friend, it takes years to get out of the relationship mentally. If I had known then what I know now I would have started getting mental health help before I got out of the relationship.


My ex-husband Kirk Bowmam at least that's how he spells it online. He's so into himself he doesn't care about anybody else I don't care what his wife Mary Stuart Bowman status. We would go into a store and I couldn't go anywhere in the store to buy anything. It was so hard shopping for him. I don't know I don't know once my book love betrayal and deceit everybody is going to know what he is and how he how he is. I thought we had a really good marriage we got along really well we were like two of a kind for a while we both and a lot in common.. I don't approve of the impact even up until the last minute in fact even up until he gave me the divorce papers. He said he wasn't going to divorce me that we were getting back together. We were fighting for custody of our son our youngest son totally talked me into giving temporary custody to his daughter Tiffany. So I don't know he lied and he kept telling me we were getting back together we were getting back together was just a matter of time and I loved him so much that I believed him. I never should have believed him I should cut my ties done and filed for a divorce myself.


I remember when we said our wedding vows. seriously but I took them still take my wedding vows seriously something like I promise to love honor and cherish you for richer for poorer in sickness and health till death do us part. The betrayal that I got when he left me for Mary Stuart who now adds to Bowman Park to her maiden name probably because I did he never told me why just that day we made love that day he told me he loves me more than anything in the world. I knew he had feelings for Mary.lThat time I was having mental problems it's called a nervous breakdown because of him yes but instead of see me through it and helping me through it he discarded me and then he kept promising me we were going to get back together but every time you come to visit me either nursing home or when I moved into my own apartment. And they don't have any kids. I have two boys things to him I want nothing to do with him of course my youngest, got adopted thanks to him. II just wish he would call me and tell me why or better yet come down here and look me and you I if you're really that much of a man and tell me why you did this to me after 24 years and just getting me a diamond ring.. I begged her I cried begging her not to steal my husband she looked me in the eye and said it'll be alright. But him constantly say all we're going to get back to you and we're going to get back together knowing we weren't is a narcissist trying to hang on to two women. Okay well I'll write more later Ibut I have changed names the same for the book but you'll know it is how to change the names of everybody for the book but you don't know who they are love you all thanks for reading and


I'm a put a few sneak peeks in here you never know. But Kirk was my second husband my first name was an alcoholic and it lasted 5 years and three kids three beautiful daughters. When I was kinda worried about getting tied up with anybody else but before I met Kirk I met a wonderful guy named Joe. He told me he was separated from his wife and getting a divorce and I thought nothing of it. it was a real nice guy we were on the same dark team every Friday night end up being Captain I was unofficially he's co-captain. Pick me up in his car sports card at the bar or at the house and we drive to the meats together after while we go back to my house and fool around yeah I did when I slept with him. Probably never should have I did fall in love with him but he didn't say I feel the same way. Or if he did he didn't fight for me what I met Kirk. He had a son Joe did was five years away from graduating high school and he wanted me to wait 5 years for him so he didn't have to pay child support. that's when I found out he was still married and living with his wife that's why we always went to my house. So I took back my key and started going out with Kirk made it mad the first time because we had a dark meat and I invited Kirk and I was all over him at the bar. But why not Kirk was into me by then. He bought me a car but that's a long story too that'll be in my book. And we were sleeping together. I go to his house or he come to my apartment. I knew Kirk wasn't divorced it was only separated but I don't know why I felt justified cuz I shouldn't have just because his wife had moved out and moved in with someone else. I kept asking when he was going to get a divorce finally with us sleeping together actually I moved in with him the kids tonight and I got pregnant. So I gave him an ultimatum he was going to get a divorce or I was leaving with baby and my daughter s. It actually took my typing up his divorce papers are you going downtown with him for him to file for a divorce .


When the vows break

I'm not understanding why vows more important to some people than others. I thought when you love someone and you promise you cherish them until death do you part in sickness and health that's exactly what that was supposed to mean. But it seemed like my marriage started to go downhill when I got sick see I have multiple sclerosis and I are paraplegic from the waist down because of it. Yes he had to do a lot of things for make me that I couldn't do. But then I made the mistake of letting he spoil me and you think that I even could do because he wanted to. When we met I thought we were soulmates I remember meeting him at the babysitter's house seeing him come to your suit that's when I think I fell in love the first time. But over time things happened are married somehow. Stay over 20 years. But what I didn't know is that he was straying he would tell me he was going one place and he was out at someone's house. I didn't notice of the time I'm just now finding all of this out. Moving back home to Parkersburg I'm finding out from people thanks for he did that I didn't know about. like taking my prescription medications and switching them with something else that looks like with Tylenol or switching my Percocet for gabapentin and then selling it. But then we moved to Cleveland I had a girlfriend in Cleveland and yes the girlfriend in every sense of the word we loved each other and we had plans let's stay together and made the divorce him because things are going bad then and he's not treating me right. So I guess I was the first one to break our vows but with his approval. he always said that if we added someone into our marriage it would spice things up and make our marriage better it took a lot of convincing. But I finally went online and met her and it was a long distance relationship we were in Parkersburg she was in Cleveland and she finally came down for my 50th birthday and that was the first time.


25 years 25 years quarter of my life I gave up for him. how did I know he was looking for something else and then I had some ideas he's very controlling wouldn't let me out of his sight. We going to store and I just thought he wanted me to help but no I couldn't go anywhere else in the store with that telling him I was going to the bathroom or doing something else. He had all the cards all the money cards because I thought he was handling all the money well he was but he wasn't paying bills with him I don't know what he was doing on their money probably gets back on drugs. Now I move back home from Cleveland to Parkersburg could be near people I love just to find out that probably at least half of those people he is screwed over. Doing things I knew nothing about. How could I be so stupid how could I be so blind. He swept me off my feet we had so much in common I thought we were related to our souls. I knew he was married previously we got together when he was still married but separated from his first wife cuz I help them with these divorce papers. I met his father may he rest in peace and his father absolutely adored me and thanked me so I don't know how late I'm sure getting him off of drugs and women. So I was I stupid what I learned and even though I'm much older if I find a guy which I have found a guy online I won't get married again but I might live with him least I can see through a narcissistic facade. In the face picture. I'll be posting pictures soon of us and you'll see how happy we were cuz that happiness is not just for the pictures what might have been on his part but it wasn't on mine.


Hi everyone this is a blog that goes along with the book page love betrayal and deceit on their p***y pics on here I put my feelings out on the line and maybe a diary entry or two from when it was happening and what was happening that isn't going in the book. Also I'd love to hear your remarks and stories self-help guru and an ordained minister so you wanted to private message me you can do that or you can put it all out on the line I'm here on post. If you find any good quotes pass them on but please let me know where you got them so I can give credit where credit's due. So I'll be posting the first blog post a little later either not yet or tomorrow love you all and praying for all of you check out the page and please hit like button I made your book away or two away like comes out


Parkersburg, WV





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