Nicole Byrne, LMFT

12/30/2025

This past holiday season, we skipped a lot.

No Santa photos.
No big holiday events.
No perfectly curated family memories.
No holiday card.

Instead, I’m practicing something that doesn’t get talked about enough — giving myself permission to be a just okay mom, and letting others feel disappointed.

I wrote about what that’s been like, and why this kind of “good enough” can be deeply regulating for burned-out, over-functioning women.

What did you give yourself permission to skip?

(And to disappoint people when being “good enough” means choosing myself)

12/18/2025

Why don’t they understand my boundary even after I’ve explained it 10 times?

Because explaining works when the problem is confusion - but it doesn’t work when the problem is their discomfort with your boundary.

More explanation just gives them more to push back on.
Your boundary doesn’t need their agreement to be real. 💛

Click the link in my bio to watch the the full video.

12/11/2025

New Video: What Happens When Someone Won't Accept Your Boundary

Have you ever set a boundary and instead of respect, you got pressure?

Shaming. Guilting. Urgency. Messages from other people asking what's going on.

And suddenly you're explaining yourself endlessly, wondering if you were too harsh.

Here's what's actually happening:

**Repair** respects your choice—even when it's uncomfortable.

**Pressure** tries to move you out of your choice so someone else can feel better.

In my latest video, I break down:
→ The difference between pressure and repair
→ Why over-functioners get pulled into endless explaining
→ What to do when someone won't accept your limit

You don't need agreement for a boundary to be real.

Watch the full video on YouTube 👇

If you're navigating this right now, you're not alone 💙

🌟 you set a boundary, most people expect things to calm down.But sometimes the opposite happens — the pressure ramps up.You’re questioned. Guilted. Pushed t...

12/11/2025

You don’t need agreement for a boundary to be real.

You don’t need understanding. You don’t need approval. You don’t even need them to think it’s fair.

Your boundary exists because you need it. Full stop.

Your job isn’t to make the other person comfortable with your limit. Your job is to notice what’s happening—and choose what’s workable for you.

Full video on my YouTube (link in the comments) about what happens when someone responds to your boundary with pressure instead of repair.

12/09/2025

3 questions I wish I'd asked myself years ago:

1. When did I learn my worth depends on how much I do?
2. What would happen if I stopped trying so hard?
3. Who taught me my needs come last?

Burnout has roots. And understanding those roots? That's how we stop the cycle instead of just managing symptoms.

If you're burnt out from over-functioning, these questions might help you see the pattern.

P.S. Just published: 10 Signs You're Over-Functioning (And What to Do) - link in comments 💙

12/09/2025

Sometimes the urge to explain isn’t about clarity.
It’s about trying to settle someone else’s discomfort.

You don’t have to keep talking for your boundary to stand.

12/08/2025

10 Signs You're Over-Functioning (And How to Stop)

You notice problems before anyone else—and fix them immediately.

You manage everyone else's responsibilities, emotions, and schedules.

You feel guilty when you rest.

Sound familiar?

Over-functioning happens when good intentions collide with perfectionism, guilt, and relationships that quietly expect you to carry more than your share.

In my latest post, I break down 10 signs—including a bonus one I added from personal experience: over-functioning in boundary conversations.

When you set a limit and then find yourself writing paragraphs trying to explain, justify, or make it "nice enough" so the other person won't be upset.

Your boundary doesn’t stop being valid just because someone disagrees with it.

Read all 10 signs + what actually helps 👇

I'm pretty sure many of us can relate 💙

Always fixing problems, managing emotions, and carrying more than your share? Here are 10 signs you're over-functioning—and what actually helps when you're exhausted from holding it all together.

12/03/2025

5 More Holiday Boundary Scripts (The Ones I Forgot Last Week)

Last week I shared 7 scripts for passive-aggressive comments at Thanksgiving.

Then I realized... there were 5 more situations that needed scripts:

✨ When they comment on your parenting
✨ When they ask about your relationship status
✨ When politics come up
✨ When they ask invasive money questions
✨ "When are you having another baby?"

I just published them in my latest newsletter - along with my honest gratitude list for the year.

The gratitude part got personal. It's been a hard year. And I wanted to share what I'm actually grateful for when life isn't picture-perfect.

Read the full post 👇

If you navigated Thanksgiving with boundaries (messy or graceful), I see you 💙

Scripts for the moments that caught you off guard, plus an honest look at what gratitude really meant to me this year.

12/02/2025

Before I say yes to anything now, I ask myself 3 questions:

1. Is this actually mine to handle?
2. What happens if I don't do this?
3. Am I doing this because it matters - or because I'm afraid of disappointing someone?

This has helped me stop over-functioning and feel good about my choices instead of resentful.

Try it this week and see what comes up 💙

P.S. If you missed my newsletter about boundaries + what I'm actually grateful for this year, I'll drop it in the comments 👇

11/25/2025

Passive-Aggressive Family Comments at Thanksgiving: What to Say

"Must be nice."
"You've changed."
"Oh, you're TOO BUSY for family?"

If you're a people-pleaser, these comments make your stomach drop. You freeze. You over-explain. You leave feeling resentful.

But not this year.

I just published 7 word-for-word scripts you can use to respond calmly - without guilt, drama, or abandoning yourself.

These aren't clapbacks. They're clear, calm responses that let you hold your boundary.

Read the full post!

Which passive-aggressive comment do you dread most? Drop it in the comments 👇

Passive-aggressive family comments at Thanksgiving? A people-pleasing therapist shares 7 scripts to respond calmly - without guilt, drama, or abandoning yourself.

11/19/2025

"I rested all weekend. Why do I still feel burnt out?"

If you've ever asked yourself this, you're not alone.

Rest fixes tiredness. But burnout is:
- A nervous system in overdrive
- Emotional depletion from constant giving
- Feeling like you're disappearing in your own life

When those patterns are still running? Rest is just a temporary pause.

Watch my latest Short explaining what's really happening 👇

Drop a 💙 if this has been your experience

"Just rest more" doesn't work for burnout. Here's why.Burnout isn't tiredness—it's a nervous system stuck in overdrive + emotional depletion + feeling like y...

11/18/2025

I Just Want to Binge Netflix and Drink Tea (But I Have Two Kids)

As the rainy season settles in, all I want is a weekend to curl up on the couch with warm tea and mindless Netflix.

But that's not happening. Because life doesn't pause when we need it to.

And the gap between what we need and what's actually possible? That's where burnout lives.

In my latest Substack post, I'm getting honest about:

- Why "just rest more" doesn't fix burnout
- What I'm doing about my own rainy-season burnout (imperfectly)
- The 10-minute practice that actually helped last Tuesday

This one's personal. And I think it might resonate if you're also running on empty but can't just... stop.

Read here 👇

What's your rainy-season rest fantasy? (Even if it's not happening in real life.) Drop it in the comments 💙

When the gap between what you need and what's possible feels impossible.