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The TakeovHER: A community of creative, kind, radical, and effective Change Activators who believe in, highlight and elevate the innate power and wisdom of purpose-driven womXn AND each other.✨

Your Best Version Is Here💡

21/09/2022

Dating apps 📢 we’re so burned out 🔥

We need new people, new strategies, new dating methods to not throw in the whole entire towel.

( matchmaker) is here to save the day 🦸🏼‍♀️

She’s joining me LIVE tomorrow (9/22 @ 8p EST) to share expert dating tips AND to answer all of your matchmaker questions.

I’ll be taking notes 📝 Hope to see ya there 😘
#ｓｉｎｇｌｅ
➡️

24/02/2022

Still don’t know what “Fez” is tho 🤷‍♀️

17/02/2022

“There are plenty of fish in the sea” but make it poetry 🪄 ✨🖤

28/11/2021

As we head into the season of resolutions & (often) media forced awareness of MORE
things we can work on or be better about, can I remind us that we’ve done the best we can, with the awareness and tools we had, up until this point❓🤔

And that we could (maybe even should) take a moment to honor that ⁉️♥️

Being a therapist equals access to brave people with hard & sometimes tragic stories ——- people with anxiety generated perfectionism or he**in addiction or adhd or ptsd or personality disorders with terrifying legal histories.

Their stories about the past are often wrought with self-blame & heaviness because “I could have/should have done better.”

And here’s my observation —-
Self Blame has made precisely ZERO people feel or get better so let’s collectively stop that s**t and considered the same
question they did to make new meaning of themselves and their story…

Did you have the tools or the knowledge you needed to actually do different back then???

OR are you taking the lesson you had to learn from that horror story and applying it retroactively?

Inevitably, they find they did the best they could with the info and tools they had.

And you likely have too.

So be f*cking nice & give yourself some credit.

Okay. Love you. Bye ✌️ ♥️

23/11/2021

Your ‘Getting back With My Ex’ questions answered ✌️❤️

18/11/2021

The things to consider BEFORE getting back with your ex.

Editing apologies but resisted the hair touching habit 🏆

06/11/2021

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY TO TheTakeovHER 🎉

You may not remember the song this quote belongs to (& I may have misquoted it 🤦‍♀️) but it was THE BEST CHOICE for describing how YOU (reader) forced me to be better over the last year.

Last November I was
✔️dating a stable dude,
✔️overseeing a mental health program that I started with a coworker,
✔️main hustling,
✔️side hustling,
✔️living on my lil piece of paradise.

I started TheTakeovHER as a creative outlet, to share lady power & MH education 🧠 👊🏽

Also last November, in an unexpected instant, I SAW what my body intuitively knew for 10+ years 😞— that I was being exploited (at work, in multiple relationships, in life) & that beliefs I held about self, women & worth allowed that exploitation to happen.

Far worse, I saw that I was supporting systems that were instilling those beliefs and benefitting from the exploitation😔

ONCE I SAW, I COULDN’T UNSEE: The messages (perpetuating greed, exploitation, elitism, misogyny) being cultivated in my teams of women at work, in my young therapy patients, in the 20 something women I knew who started believing things about themselves that were to their detriment and NOT FU***NG TRUE🤬🤬

With my eyes opened & YOU & THEM watching, I had a decision to make:

(more in comments👇)

18/09/2021

Do you know the beliefs you hold about relationships❓🤷‍♀️

Most of you will say “YES,” and honestly I would have too. We’re adults, of course we know what we believe in 👍

But (!) CBT (one of the most effective therapies for the broadest range of disorders) & other psych theories acknowledge that most of us actually ARE NOT aware of the beliefs/myths that cause the distress in our lives.🤔🤔

Mostly, we aren’t aware of them because
(1)they were planted a long time ago (early childhood) 🌱

(2)Our conscious mind doesn’t want to keep the beliefs in mind because the beliefs (or memories that caused the belief) are too painful 😣

Even though we don’t consciously acknowledge those beliefs every day, they influence nearly EVERY thought we have about ourselves, others and the 🌎

Your beliefs are the reason the same patterns play out in your life over and over again 😣

Earlier today, I landed in a masterclass.

Marisa (hypnotherapist & developer of “Rapid Transformation Therapy”) had an intervention at the end of the workshop that unearthed some seriously deep childhood falsities I had —- with a force that 15 years of therapy (AND THERAPIST TRAINING) COULDN’T TOUCH.

⚠️ I AM NOT endorsing RTT for treatment of any diagnosed mental disorder. Rather, I’m endorsing one of Marisa’s (and RTT’s) central messages:

Just because you believe something, doesn’t mean it’s true.

If you want to discover the beliefs you hold about LOVE that may be keeping you single/dissatisfied in relationships, we invite you to ReWrite Your Love Script (link in bio).

You’re life (and the joy in it) literally depend on you making some new beliefs.

We hope you will 😘

Quote via The Artists Way ❤️❤️

20/07/2021

Them 🔥signs STAY the topic of convo in therapists office everywhere.

08/07/2021

Freud agrees❓🤔😜

01/07/2021

Success in therapy comes in many flavors:
🏆client uses new coping skills
🏆client has more love for self & others
🏆client learns to set limits with “toxic” force
🏆clients takes new risks to find new joy
🏆client acknowledges & values emotions of self and others etc

Today’s favorite success is
“Client answers own questions” because it’s often a signal that the client is beginning to internalize a new, healthy narrative or way of thinking.

That new narrative will carry the client through life and it’s challenges LONG after therapy ends 👋

I used to be the “will he call” girl because I used to believe that him calling (or not) was the result of me being enough (or not)..
If I was pretty/smart/independent/confident/sexy/clever/fit/ambitious enough he would call and if I wasn’t, he wouldn’t.

Therapy taught me that sometimes (often times!!) the behaviors of those around me had NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.

Sometimes he didn’t call because he was secretly married or headed to jail or having some other random problem that wasn’t mine to solve.

Therapy also taught me that striving to influence the love level or attraction of others would end in stress, burnout and heartbreak 💔 EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Loving myself, being good to others & asking better questions, like “how can I be the best me today” instead of “will he call,” was the best I could do.

Therapy ended years ago and I still carry that narrative & better question asking habit with me.

25/06/2021

“This is a feelings story …..”

One of my favorite ever client quotes.

Why? Because having a client who knows & values HER OWN FEELINGS brings me a ton of pride.

I didn’t know the importance of feeling feelings until well into adulthood. I honestly didn’t see much value in focusing on feelings because

1. “feelings don’t matter when there’s work to do,” and
2. Feelings just got in the way of logical or intellectual pursuits.

After 20 something years of ignoring my feelings in order to get the best grade, finish that BiG job or please that “important” person, I was sick and hated most things.

It turned out, ignoring my feelings until they disappeared wasn’t actually a thing because feelings would come out anyway—usually physically and make me sick.

This is true for all of us: We can’t ignore feelings. They demand to be felt.

I also learned that stopping to feel unpleasant feelings (betrayed, rejected, enraged, provoked, abandoned etc) wouldn’t cause death-by-overwhelm.

I learned that I didn’t necessarily have a choice in how I felt when terrible things happened BUT I did have a choice in how I acted with those feelings.

Recognition and mastery of feeling states is a life enhancing (life sustaining!!) practice.

Start today by getting quiet, noticing the physical feeling in your jaw (mine is tense af right now) and ask “what is that feeling?”

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