Pix Monaco Counseling

07/13/2024

07/11/2024

05/30/2024

Last week I went to see twice in one week over the full moon. Snapped this coming out of the show one night. I cried both nights, lullabied into a glorious trance. The power of swaying and moving to music in a room, with other humans moving to the same beat, by a band that oozes secure attachment and safety with every move. I noticed how rare it is to be in a quiet room in this world, where peoples’ attention is being held by something other than a screen. The space and silence to feel our feelings, to hold ourselves as we’re being held…

That’s also what good therapy is. 🫶🏻

04/19/2024

A feeling that is found in virtually every trauma is powerlessness.

Hopelessness, feeling stuck, feeling trapped, feeling frozen or confused or unable to make decisions - these are all connected experiences that can contribute to a sense that we are to varying degrees futile or ineffective. These feelings arise from what you’ve experienced, not who you are. Intellectually understanding that difference can’t resolve the feelings, but it can certainly help guide you towards hope and inspiration to do the work to process the traumas that created them.

I work with people a lot in this arena. So often where there is complex trauma especially, people begin to believe that there is something inherently wrong or flawed in them that makes them incapable of healing their suffering. (Note that I’m not talking here about psychiatric diagnoses, since that’s outside of my scope… Although I do know that many people suffering from trauma are misdiagnosed with other psychiatric disorders.)

Our healing is tied up together. 🙌🏻 You can heal. And even the tiny steps you take, matter. I deeply believe that the evolution of our global human family is connected with the personal evolution of each individual and the energy you bring to your life. When you notice yourself thinking that you don’t matter or your actions don’t matter or your efforts etc. - hold your heart. Soften into holding the feelings with compassion. Allow them to flow through your body with all the grief and sadness and pain. And offer yourself a glimmer of hope that you can dare to matter, to grow, and to change. Let it motivate you to take the Hero’s Journey of your life and alchemize your pain into power.

04/01/2024

So much of what we do in therapy & healing is beyond words. I realized this (again) when I was talking the other day with one of my clients. Many of us have rigid programs we’re running much of the time. That is, automatic conditioned responses to stimuli that make us feel unsafe. With curiosity and compassion, if we lift the veil of defensiveness to the need underneath, there is a little baby Us who is crying out for soothing. Giving oneself the gift of soothing via recognition, validation and action is the healing balm that transforms lives.

This is the work of therapy. 🫶🏻 Self-parenting, or self-governing, or self-loving… call it what you will, it is the work of our lifetimes. It allows us to do all the other work. 😁

Just some random Monday rainy morning thoughts. Sending my best wishes for this week.

-Pix

03/04/2024

Your mere existence is a confirmation of your lovability.

You don’t have to earn, perform, correct, or achieve your way to love. You are here. Breathing. Life is a miracle. You are alive - YOU are a miracle. No matter where you are, what you do, what you say, or who you’re with - your value is innate and intractable. Let yourself be suffused in the peace and restfulness of your okay-ness. Underneath the day-to-day currents of mistakes, regrets, hurts, hopes and dreams for the future… let yourself remain tethered by your inner infinite space.

Have you experienced this place inside of you?
Ways that people can access this experience of inner value: Meditation, breathwork, grief, interpersonal connection, psychedelic states, spinning, dancing, and other flow states. Experiencing your innate value - even for one moment - can leave lasting beneficial imprints that last a lifetime. 💜

03/02/2024

Y’all, I am posting these vacation photos here because I need them. 😆 We have reached that special time of year here in the Midatlantic where seasonal impact reaches its height for me. I have endured, and at times enjoyed, the long slow darkness. I’ve embraced the cold and the extra hours indoors and in the kitchen that it brings.

But now it is March, and I.am.f**king.done. 😆
I know this about myself. I prefer to schedule vacations for March or April due to this very reason - and it is no coincidence that March is one of the most expensive months to fly out of PHL to warmer & sunnier destinations. In a way our February vacation added fuel to this restlessness fire - a one-week peek into a world that won’t be ours for several months still to come. Now it is raining buckets and our house is dark and cold and I would like to be anywhere but here.

Mood and physical health effects due to lack of sunlight and cold are legit. What to do?! Everyone has different comfort touchstones. If you don’t know yours, explore that to find what brings you solace. For me it means moving my body more. Giving myself more comfort thru self-massage, movement, sauna, nourishment, self-compassion meditations. It’s a practice, to stay here in this moment at the end of a long winter. 🫶🏻

02/27/2024

I’m giving my current office space a square! 🥳

I’m happy to be offering in-person services at Axis Mt. Airy in their designated clinical therapy room. The “waiting room” is an awesome open space with couches, chairs, coffee and tea that clients are welcome to. And the room itself is private and cozy! I currently have evening hours available here but may add some daytime slots if people are interested. 😌

02/21/2024

A vacation is not a replacement for living life with balance. 😆 But, it can help illuminate life from different perspectives and give inspiration to create more balance where needed.

We just got back from a week in Mexico. This was my first time on an airplane or abroad since 2019! Saying those words is wild to me because from the time I was 11 to 38, I never went more than a few years without traveling abroad. Traveling in different cultures has been such an enormous part of my personal evolution, and I never imagined stopping.

My thoughts and feelings on travel are now very complex, because let’s be real, it’s not all sunshine and roses. There is a very real - and very large - environmental impact from getting on an airplane. There are very real cultural and environmental impacts to being a traveler, many of them negative. So even though I get so much out of the change in perspective, being out of my comfort zone, challenging preconceived notions, making connections with strangers, adapting to different cultural norms, etc - it all comes at a cost and I think more deeply about the choices I make now.

What role (if any) has travel played in your mental health journey? I’d love to chat about it. ⬇ Definitely one of my favorite topics 😋

02/16/2024

All we have is this moment. Befriend yourself so that you can be in it. 🫶🏻

01/19/2024

Love this graphic created by 🙏🏽💖

Thank you for your beautiful work sharing the research behind the effects self-compassion has on the brain! 🧠💪🏽✨

🔁 Reposted by

01/18/2024

It’s a loosing battle you can’t win. Instead, redirect your attention inward and identify your need so that you can meet it. 🫶🏻

I can’t tell you how many folks I see struggling with this, and I’ve been there myself. We’re social animals so caring about how others around you feel, feeling the feelings of others, and wanting to help are all natural and healthy signs of your humanness. That’s not what this post is about. Nor is it about condoning abuse. This post is about when we attempt to manage and modify others’ expression and experience of their own emotions as a way of coping with our own dysregulation. This can look like excessive caregiving, so-called “co-dependency” and sacrificing the needs of the Self for others in the hope that it will fulfill basic needs of love and acceptance. The problem with this approach is that it doesn’t fulfill those needs. On the contrary, it drains a person, breeds resentment and a false sense of superiority, and contributes to feelings of isolation and not feeling seen or appreciated. At the same time, it can contribute to those feelings in the other person as well! Double whammy. ☠️ This behavior often comes from a childhood where caregivers minimized or dismissed our needs for love and validation and required that the child put the needs and feelings of the adults and others first. This can manifest in so many different ways, which is why this is unfortunately such a common problem.

The good news is: This is changeable! The solution takes time to uncover and practice. But, in essence, it is about identifying reliable and emotionally engaged people in life and setting boundaries around those who are not. It is also about recognizing that our own peace can’t come from other people or external sources exclusively. Understanding that, we can also start to practice regulating our own emotions through self-care/self-soothing processes. Having a trusted Other in the picture who can co-regulate with us is so helpful too. That’s one of the things therapy is for!

Is this something you work on too? 🙋‍♀️ Let’s chat about it 👇🏻

12/28/2023

Our Dharma practice and our recovery program each rest on the foundation of intention and commitment. One day at a time and one breath at a time, we keep coming back to the present moment and to our wish to be free.
"Keep Coming Back: Dharma, Recovery, and Renewal" (online 12/30) with Kevin Griffin will focus on beginning the new year with a clear vision of our path, whether we are just establishing our , renewing our commitment, or maintaining our program and practice.
Info & register: go.spiritrock.org/SR123023

12/11/2023

Hi y’all! 👋🏻 I’m Pix, the person behind this account. I’m happy you’re here! I’m a Marriage and Family Therapist working in private practice and community mental health here in Philadelphia. I’m also working towards licensure as an LMFT. My focus is currently on trauma (because pretty much everyone has it) and relational issues/couples’ work (because I love it so much!)

I trust in the power of nature to help heal and I believe in the wisdom of the human body-mind-spirit. I think people are amazing, and I believe that (many of) the changes we desire are possible. 🫶🏻 I’m happy to hold onto hope for my clients even when they might have lost track of it.

I’m a therapist, which means sometimes people bristle or feel uncomfortable around me (an unfortunate byproduct of residual negative cultural stories we have about therapy that I didn’t foresee honestly). Or on the other end of the spectrum, some people want to tell me about their problems when they hear it’s my job. 😅 BUT, I’m also a human who is just as contradictory and messy as everyone else. I consider myself truly privileged to be able to do this work: To hold space for the most hurt parts of people while also witnessing the soaring heights of the human spirit. Therapy is about being deeply in touch with life itself. I love it.

I’m interested to hear any feedback you have about what you’d like to see me exploring in this space! I’m big on the role our authenticity has in catalyzing change, so I think sharing a certain amount of my own process in healing here makes sense and can be helpful. Thank you for being here and I truly look forward to sharing meaning here together!!