Heal your vibes, energy, and well-being with Kendra Cox

12/02/2023

As soon as I transfer these pics from my FB, I’m deleting it. If you want to keep in touch, follow my IG and Kennedy’s IG because her page will be gone on here too, or don’t. Probably take me like a week or two to do.

11/03/2022

So many call themselves loyal, but their loyalty is conditional because they aren't loyal to themselves first. “I'll keep your secrets until you…” “I’ll defend you behind your back until…” “I’ll do good until…” and this is a problem. It’s a prob when it comes to personal relationships, peoples rights in general, and even with LBGT/BLM. If you’re only going to respect people when they’re meeting your criteria or unless it is someone you care about talking about someone else you care about, that is not loyalty. For example if you say you defend LGBT/BLM but don’t speak up when it is your cousin making comments, then don’t claim to be an ally. That makes you a not so good person, a temper tantrum, and just wrong all around. If someone once trusted you to tell you things or trusted you to be vulnerable with and you use that against them and try to flip it as if it was something it wasn’t, that is manipulation and unkind. I’m not saying loyalty looks the same for everyone or that you have to be loyal to people after they disrespect you or violate you, but this is why I say you need to be loyal to yourself first. What are your values, morals, boundaries and what aligns with the type of energy you want in your life? If you say you value honesty, respect, privacy, kindness, or integrity but make your loyalty to others conditional, then you’re not loyal to you and your values which makes you an untrustworthy and unloyal person in general. By not recognizing this, you will likely often blame others for things going sour or relationships getting messy or thinking you’re a victim. This isn't about bashing anyone, it is about encouraging people to do some self-reflection. When someone good comes into your life and you do them dirty when things don’t go your way, that ruins more than your impulsivity could’ve imagined. Communicating, understanding and being logical rather than emotional could’ve saved a positive relationship. When you do someone dirty and they don’t seek revenge or try to do the same, you lost a good connection. How many times has this happened to you? Once? Great, learn from it before you start losing more new good people because of old unhealthy behaviors.

10/24/2022

I have a handful of friends and family. I know who will be messy if we have a falling out. I know who will just go their separate ways if we have a falling out. I know this because of how they treat others and how they handle falling outs with others. No matter the other person's role in that falling out. No matter how kind, honest, respectful, or anything else good I am, however they handle falling outs, they will handle it like that with me, too. Now if I see someone handling things messy, I simply won’t befriend them. But some are grandfathered in at this point, lol. I usually decide to go my separate way before things get heated but sometimes it is harder to. Like family or dating. But even then I still try to. I am not saying I am perfect, but I have healed significantly and I would never do the things to others that some people have done to me over the past couple of years. Even after they do me dirty, sometimes publicly, I still don’t return that negative energy. I address it, but I am not about to put any of my energy into that mess. I said it before, I trust everyone. I stand by that. I trust everyone to show who they truly are, and I make sure to listen with my eyes. I am super proud of who I have become and I love when I get reminders of how healed I am when negative energy tries to disrupt my flow but can't. ***an

10/05/2022

Never made sense when I heard, forgiving them is for you. But I thought about it. I’m the type to observe, analyze, recognize if the puzzle piece doesn’t align and start the process again to complete my puzzle. I’ll share what made my puzzle pieces align. Trauma is a beast and a powerful one. I say broken souls love broken souls and these souls create broken souls. I was created by broken souls. I dealt with physical, verbal, emotional, and mental abuse. At 37, my mother has never apologized nor will she ever change. I forgave her for her, and that’s where I messed up. I had to start back over and do more work on myself because she hurt me again. I forgave her by making excuses for her because of her own trauma, bi-polar disorder, and she is still so broken. By making excuses for her, it created an opportunity for her to hurt me again, bringing me more pain. So I distanced myself again from her and others involved even though it hurts. As I observed, analyzed and recognized where I went wrong. I decided to forgive them all. But this time, for me. I know they have this trauma that they likely will never work on. I know that they’ll alway repeat the cycle of lies, deceit, blame, and hurting others without realizing they are even doing it. So this time I have to stay away. I forgive them but not because I forgive what they did to me, but because I know that they may never be able to recognize how they are hurting people. I literally expect them to bash me to their friends, social media, etc. because they’re broken. That is not my responsibility to fix them or defend myself. Some may never change and you have to accept that as part of your forgiveness for them. But when you forgive them for yourself, you learn to set boundaries, detach from people, desires, places, traditions, etc. that no longer align with you and your puzzle. It hurts, we’re human, but our logic and rationale has to be stronger than our emotions. Do I want some of them in my life? Yes, but it’s out of my control. A difficult reality to accept is that no matter their role, everyone is still just a lesson in your life.

08/31/2022

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08/04/2022

Some of us avoid, some of us confront, fight and play the blame game, and some of us confront, communicate, and problem solve. Every single approach is a choice. These choices are influenced by many factors. Self-worth, importance of the relationship or situation, boundaries, maturity level, mindset, money, fear, ego, worrying what others will say or think, etc. We always have a choice. Choices have consequences. Consequences can be desirable or undesirable. Finding out what fully aligns with your internal happiness is what makes the immediate less desirable outcome, the long term most desirable outcome. Loss of tangibles, people, jobs, etc. is not a loss when it is something or someone who is breaking you down mentally, emotionally, and physically. With every choice or action you make, there will be “viewers” with a different perspective. Some will praise and congratulate you while others will belittle and try to make you look awful to others. Professionals say that people need to socialize and kids need social interaction, but society is what f**s people up the most. I once read somewhere and cannot remember who to credit that “if enough people do it, it becomes normal.” So if you find yourself in a position where you are being judged, attacked, or whatever because you want different, do different, or approach things differently than they do, it isn’t because you or them are “wrong” but that you are not where you belong with what is normalized there. We can’t change others, but we can change what we choose to allow or continue to engage in. Find your normal and what aligns with you, and take steps to get there by healing, working on yourself and ignoring the noise. I am hoping to get back to recording for my podcast and get more content up on how to tackle this. But there are some short episodes that address this to tune into.

07/24/2022

Many of my clients ask me how to work on detachment. I rarely go all in right away because the root isn’t necessarily not knowing how to detach. I often observe that denial, unresolved trauma and/or inner work that needs to be addressed before detachment can even be a reality for them. Some will say they detach easily, and usually it is a trauma response of avoidance, and not a healthy detachment. Detachment isn’t turning your emotions off; it is feeling everything and appreciating it, but knowing that it could be just a moment because nothing is “ours” in the end. Take trauma bonds as an example and the comment “it is so hard to detach and let go; but we are married with kids; or but he/she/they said they will go to therapy.” Being in a toxic situation but dismissing the abuse is ignoring what’s hurting you, to keep what is hurting you. If you don't heal and love yourself, you will continue to let someone who is sometimes nice, all the time manipulating and often hurting you, stay around. Detachment is something that comes naturally as you start to develop that self worth/love, and live in the moment, because you are able to focus on the good, let go of what you are not in control of, and live in the moment with what aligns rather than forcing things to fill a void. When you love yourself and live authentically, you let go of societal constructs, man made time-lines about when you should be married, have kids, have a career, or what your home/car/style should look like. You detach from anything and anyone that doesn’t align with what makes you happy and whole. You also learn to let go of the judgment or gossip that comes along with how you live your life or walk away from what does not align. So if you find yourself worrying about what others are saying because of a boundary you set, you still have inner work to do. If you say you can just turn your emotions off and not feel or care what others say, that isn't detachment, that is a trauma response and you still got things to work through. Like I said, with detachment you still feel every emotion, you are just more logical about your next move by what aligns and don't let your emotions run you.

07/16/2022

I’ve only ever had two exes leave a permanent dent. One was my first love and the other was a narcissist. The rest, if you were a good person, we still cool. Not besties out here but we hella cordial because we both good people but just not right for each other. The narcissist was never exposed but I shared my experience a lot to help others. When y’all breakup and just bash the other person, that’s weird to me. That literally makes you look like the whole problem. Sometimes the best thing to do is just move on and focus on your role in the situation ending so you don’t keep having short lived toxic ass relationships. Not everyone is like you and so running your mouth because you expect they do is just messy. You get in your own way of finding a good partner because good people don’t want that toxic messy drama. We want to be able to grow apart from people with no drama and because we just simply grew apart or didn’t mesh the way we thought we would. And if you’re holding on to their past to try and bring them down, you’re super red flaggy because we all change. Do better if you want better.

07/06/2022

The most freeing feeling isn’t getting out of the most toxic relationship, isn’t finally getting that job you wanted, isn’t getting someone to finally apologize, and isn’t getting people to realize that you were right or know your side of the story. The most freeing feeling is loving yourself with no conditions. No judgment. Just loving yourself for who you are and who you aren’t. Loving yourself so much that nobody else has the ability to make you second guess your worth no matter what you are going through or growing through, but believing in yourself so much that you still are open to feedback or criticism about how you can continue to improve in different ways. Knowing that difference is so crucial. I have been dealing with so much lately and quite a few setbacks, but I also never felt to full and in love and proud of me. So freeing. Okay. Good talk.

07/04/2022

Basically

YES!

The Ultimate '80s Page

07/03/2022

I made a post on TikTok that started out as a joke about how I only get hit on by men that turned into a deep topic that I am still processing. I get hit on by women, but only on social media. I cannot remember the last time a woman has said anything to me in real life. I posted this because the most rapey comment that men can make to a le***an, was said to me again this week. This week I had some HVAC work done and it was a man who came to my home to do the job. Anyone who knows me these days knows I am friendly and I love to talk about things that focus on self improvement. After a convo about how choosing yourself is not selfish, this man asked to take me to dinner. I politely declined and then also said that I am gay. He said “well maybe I can change that” and I said absolutely not. He said but it seemed like I made you happy, and I said no we just had a friendly conversation and that is just who I am. There was so much wrong with that interaction but the worst part is that a couple of days later (today), this man calls from the company phone number to ask me about a hot tub. I declined and thought that was the end of the call. Then he proceeds to ask what I am doing this weekend and if I am celebrating. I said I am not celebrating a country that just took even more of our rights away and then asked what this call was really about because I am setting a boundary right now. He stumbled over his words and I ended the call. THIS is why we need our rights. On a daily basis, women and young girls are being harassed, are at risk of assault, are assaulted, and there is a story about a 10 year old in Ohio was r***d then denied an abortion. I hired a legit company to install my ac unit, and now he has all of my personal information which makes me feel extremely unsafe. Black people are not safe. Trans are not safe. Women are not safe. No means no holds no weight for women, people of color, trans, and so many others, but no means no MEANS NO if you are the government, the police, the wealthy, or the white man. If you aren’t angry, you are part of the problem or benefited one way or another by this twisted reality we are living.

07/01/2022

💫🫶🏽

Hello, my name is Dene, and I am fundraising for a very good friend of mine who has… Dene Burton needs your support for Please, if you could help this family

06/24/2022

I have been absent lately. I am big on boundaries, self love, and self care. For quite some time, I was “doing” for others and did not expect anything in return. Free professional therapeutic advice lives, I record my podcast to help and do not get paid for that, and I give all types of advice via messaging for free. I was able to do what I did because I had the mental capacity, energy, time and money to do so. Not for me or praise. I know how limited access to mental health services is and feel like everyone should have equal access to it. Since I left Philly, it’s been a nightmare for my family, financially, mentally, emotionally, and everything else. Thankfully I love my job and have a supportive team because on rough days, they are there to help. But outside of work, 🥴The universe is throwing so much at me right now but I know it is for clarity, cleansing and changes I need to make. She ain't had to be so aggressive with the signs, but maybe I just wasn't listening before. A good friend of mine has been learning about the crazy stuff happening almost daily and decided to make a gofundme, for my family. While it is super sweet, I am unhappy with the amount of people messaging me asking about what’s going on and how can they help. It’s frustrating because 1. It is listed in the gofundme 2. Asking me questions that literally can be answered by reading it, is just forcing me to constantly think about the struggles. Think about how many people prob message me and how many times a day I would have to explain myself. That’s not okay 3. If you aren’t helping one way or another whether donating, sharing the link to help get it out there, or offering services without expecting something in return, then why reach out to me? This is a hard time for me and an extremely vulnerable moment. 37yrs I have been here, I never asked for help. Makes me want to have my friend delete the gofundme. People think before you hit send. If you need a convo to donate, need details to share, need anything in return before you do anything to “help”, just don’t. This is why people don’t ask. Thanks to everyone who has donated with no questions asked or shared to help reach more people.

05/31/2022

05/15/2022

So today I had a reiki session. I wish I could turn things off but I was tapping in and had to tell her what I was picking up on about her. She said I was spot on and very intuitive. Even during my healing, I’m healing others. Neither one of us felt drained after and we both had a sense of relief I think.

05/10/2022

Comment below 🎉🤭

03/25/2022

She asked “why do you have to be so mean” and “why can’t you just answer me when I’m asking about my son” and the reply she got was “because I don’t like you.”
But she knew that. A lot of people knew that. Still shouldn’t use kids to hurt another adult. Shouldn’t hurt people intentionally, period.

This is why I hate when people use the “but you only have one mom” or “but it’s family and family fights.” The situation is only viewed when you snap or cut them off and you look like the problem. Don’t be afraid to respect yourself enough and love yourself enough to cut people out of your life who repeatedly hurt you but play the victim or gaslight you or do things behind closed doors but display differently around people. Or they push push push until you snap then want to record to make it seem like you’re crazy and their version is validated. Walk away from those who never take accountability or engage in discussion to find a solution but expect time/silence/gift to be the cure and act like nothing happened. Because if that person wasn’t blood, would you accept it? So why do they get a pass? Why do they get enabled? Why do they get the missing stairs disclosures?

02/12/2022

When life feels like a lot, practice mindfulness. To do this, you need to truly be present and detach. Literally live in the moment. Whatever happened or is happening is out of your control, and so focusing on either of those will create unnecessary stress. This doesn't mean that you just forget what happened or ignore what needs to happen, but rather take some time to reflect and focus on what is in your control. This is important for major life situations, but even more so for those small things. For example, take your time to enjoy your food. Put the phone away, take smaller bites and while you're chewing pay attention to how it smells, tastes, and feels. Really utilize your senses. When I took this picture, I needed some regrounding. These past couple of weeks have been extremely hard on me and on his day I had so many things to do. I handled the things I needed to and detached from the things I was hoping for, because I needed this moment for me. I walked to the water and sat there, closed my eyes, listened to the water flowing, the leaves blowing, the horns honking, and the little paws of Hendrix running around. As I sat there I smelled a mix of grass, mud, creek water, and even exhaust from cars. I felt the movement of the cold water, the mossy rocks, and the wind blowing my hair across my cheeks. In this moment, I felt relaxed like I wasn’t even dealing with the stress of every curve ball or task life is throwing at me right now, and it felt good to just be even if the smells were not as desired. Then some folks came by so I started to take pics and made a tiktok. Lol but my point is, practicing mindfulness really frees your mental burdens and helps you adjust your priorities to help handle what you need to without forgetting that your mental, emotional, and physical well-being needs to be on that list too.