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Ayla Fleming LLC

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Ayla Fleming LLC

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🌱 Family addiction therapist for women
⚡ Break the painful cycle of codependency
✨Weekly therapy or intensives- let's pick what's best for you
💬 DM me to schedule your FREE consult
📍PA, NJ, NY Reach out for a free therapy consultation at https://www.calendly.com/aylathetherapist
Disclaimer: This site is for education and is not intended as medical advice.

10/28/2025

When a loved one has addiction…
It can feel like you’re falling — fast —
and you’re begging them to catch you.
But instead… they just stand there and watch.

You try harder. You love harder.
You take responsibility for both of you.
You convince yourself: If I can just be enough…
maybe they’ll show up this time.

But addiction steals presence.
It hijacks the person you love.
It turns crisis into chaos,
and you’re left feeling invisible, unimportant,
and somehow to blame for their absence.

If you grew up in dysfunction or addiction,
you learned to over-function in relationships —
to rescue, to fix, to hold it all together.
But you deserve someone who reaches back.
Someone who catches you, too. 💛
🛋️ Hi! I’m Ayla — a therapist for women in NY, NJ & PA.
I help women who feel like they’ve lost themselves
in relationships shaped by addiction, mental illness,
and emotionally immature family dynamics.
Together, I can help you rebuild confidence, boundaries, and safety —
so you can stop free-falling and start standing tall again.

✨ If this resonates…
Follow for more support
and click the link in my bio to book a free therapy consult today.

10/27/2025

The loneliness of making yourself small
isn’t just about being quiet.

It’s the ache of:
✦ dimming your joy so no one rolls their eyes
✦ laughing it off when someone crosses a line
✦ needing connection so badly that you disappear to keep it
✦ being “easy” so no one leaves
✦ holding back opinions to avoid the argument
✦ being chosen… but never really known

If you grew up around family dysfunction or alcoholism…
you probably got really good at shrinking yourself to keep the peace.
Or to get others to pay attention to you.

And without realizing it…
you found friends or partners who needed you to stay small, too.

But that survival skill?
It’s getting old.
And deep down, you know you deserve so much more.

You deserve relationships where you don’t have to disappear
to belong. 🤍
Hi, I’m Ayla. I help women who’ve lost themselves in their relationships find their grounded, whole selves again.

If this hit something in you… you’re not alone.
Follow for more support — and reach out if you’re ready to feel like you again.

Schedule a free therapy consult with me via the link in bio or go to calendly.com/aylathetherapist or text 267-217-3017.

10/23/2025

It isn’t a bad thing until pity turns into action — or you start thinking you know every single thing about someone else, or it's your job to "fix" them.

Remember: when someone tells you how you should feel, they’re saying your feelings aren't allowed. That itself is controlling.

That’s why this matters so much if you’re struggling with guilt or shame about how you feel in a relationship that’s been abusive or emotionally harmful.

Taking space, saying enough is enough, or ending the relationship isn’t mean or selfish.
It’s an act of self-respect — a way of protecting your well-being from someone trying to extinguish your sense of self.

💛 You are allowed to choose peace over chaos.
Schedule a free therapy consult with me via the link in bio.
You can also email me through my website (link in bio) or call/text 267-217-3017.

10/17/2025

I know the feeling like your bones are aching for your loved one. The lost potential. The doppelganger who has inhabited their body. The monster we're arguing with. And (the most difficult to admit) the terrorizor we, ourselves, have become. It makes since that it'd feel like the world has turned upside down...

But, you're not crazy. You're facing what it feels like to lose someone while they're still alive- not to mention completely losing yourself in the process.

Acceptance of reality is the only way out. You can hold hope for a brighter tomorrow, but you cannot make another adult's choices for them. Once we can accept another adult's situation, addiction (a disease with risk of chronic relapse), and autonomy, we can start to reflect how we want to address our own situation, grief, and the emotional coping skills we've learned to deal with our grief such as control.

You might keep going back expecting things are nlrmal- whether it's a partner, parent, or adult child. This process can take years. But it's also important that when you make up your mind to finally hold your boundaries, it's your decision. If you do what someone else recommends, it's still someone else's decision. And that's just another self-abandonment. 💔

Keep reflecting on why something "just doesn't feel right" no matter what you do. Talk it out. Know that others will always give their opinions. But one day, you'll get clarity ✨🌱

If you're looking for a therapist who gets it and won't just be another person telling you what to do, contact me today. You can do this. And you'll connect with own inner knowing again. I know it 💛

If you'd like to start therapy with me, click the link in my bio for a free consult (or go to calendly.com/aylathetherapist)

Follow for more healing tips for family dysfunction, addicted relationships, and women's mental health 💅🏼

10/16/2025

💛 I’m a therapist & coach for women in dysfunctional or addicted relationships who feel like they’re
🌀 losing themselves 💅🏼

Here’s why it feels like everyone in your life is a jerk 👇

1️⃣ You’re a people pleaser.
You (unconsciously) attract difficult people — the selfish, entitled, addicted, or emotionally immature ones. You’re used to over-giving to feel safe or valued.

2️⃣ Your boundaries are negotiable.
Boundaries = 3 steps:
➡️ Know what you can’t tolerate if you want good mental health.
➡️ Have a plan for your actions when someone crosses a line.
➡️ Hold that line consistently.
If you don’t respect your boundaries, no one else will either.

3️⃣ You overfunction.
When you overfunction, it's natural that others underfunction. There is a lot of research that this pattern is accurate in all types of relationships.
Get clear on what’s yours and what’s theirs. This is VERY hard for overfunctioners. Resist the urge to fix and focus on fulfilling your own needs as a responsible adult. 🌱 You can seek therapy with me to help you do this.

4️⃣ It’s a trauma response.
You can’t handle others’ distress, so you fix it.
But that behavior is what keeps you dysregulated — and ultimately makes both of you dependent or resentful.

✨ Ready to stop losing yourself in relationships?
Schedule a consult with me via www.calendly.com/aylathetherapist (link in bio) Please don't wait. This can change your life ❤️

Follow more on boundaries, codependency, and healing from family dysfunction 💛

10/15/2025

You’ve begged, pleaded, shamed, blamed, resented, guilted, screamed, cried, got angry, got even...

Snooped, talked to friends, talked to your therapist, talked to their therapist, talked to their mom, prayed, threatened to leave, left, came back...

Checked bottles, counted drinks, searched their phone, hid the keys, poured out all the liquor in the house, made rules, broke your own rules...

Convinced yourself it wasn’t that bad, convinced yourself it was worse than it was, hoped, lost hope, tried again...

➡️➡️➡️ But the #1 reason it hurts so bad to cut them off? You abandoned yourself a long time ago, to build your life around theirs. Whether it's family, a partner, parent, or adult child. And now?

💔 You know you're losing a piece of yourself if you cut them off OR if you keep doing what you're doing. Everything feels like a terrible trap.

🌱 I'm not a "no-contact therapist". I'm a "learn to love yourself again" therapist. I won't tell you to stay or go. But, I will help you find your confidence again so YOU can make your decisions from a place of peace and knowing. I know it seems impossible now, but you've already done the impossible by doing everything you have for the people you love ❤️‍🩹
🛋️ I’m Ayla — a therapist and coach helping adults heal from addicted, chaotic, or emotionally immature family systems.

If you’ve tried everything to fix the chaos and you’re finally ready to find peace — I can help you come back to yourself. Whether they get sober, heal, change, or not...

💛 Schedule a free consultation at calendly.com/aylathetherapist or click the link in my bio.

Follow for more truth about breaking dysfunctional family patterns.

10/14/2025

Now you know! And if you're ready to stop doing this in a grounded, loving way (and not a reactive, angry way)l, where younend up cutting everyone off- not that I can identify or anything 🤣) ...
➡️ Click the link in my bio for a totally FREE virtual consultation about your specific situation.

Girl, you are so worth it! 💅🏼🌱✨

Follow for more healthy, empoweree, and loving relationship tips! 💛

10/13/2025

I hope this makes sense. Please reach out 🫶🏼

➡️ Contact me today for a FREE video consultation to learn more and discuss your specific situation www.calendly.com/aylathetherapist (link in bio)

Follow me for more relationship and self healing tips 🌱✨

06/07/2025

Kid, your mama is a Bowen therapist—and she knows: you are not her whole identity.

As a mama-to-be, I feel the swirl of a thousand emotions.
I want to give you everything.
I don’t want to lose myself.
I want to protect you from pain.
I don’t want to pass on the patterns I’ve worked so hard to unlearn.

Bowen Theory has helped me see the big picture.
It’s taught me that anxiety gets passed down not just through what we say, but through how we manage ourselves.
That the greatest gift I can give you isn’t perfection—it’s my calm presence.
That my job isn’t to mold you, but to stand close enough for support, and far enough for you to become you.

It reminds me that the more I solidify who I am, the more freedom you'll have to grow into who you are.

So, baby—I’m doing my best.
To self-regulate instead of overfunction.
To check my anxiety before it becomes your inheritance.
To love you deeply while staying connected to myself.

🌿 37 weeks today
📲 Only a few more bathroom selfies left
🔖Follow for Bowen Therapy tips & stories from the big, brave, and fascinating transition into motherhood

05/30/2025

Your mom says,
"You don’t call enough."

Your sister says,
"Why are you being so cold lately?"

Your aunt chimes in,
"I just don’t understand what happened to you—you used to be so sweet."

And your partner?
"You're overreacting. It’s not that bad."

Meanwhile, you’re just trying to survive.

Trying to set boundaries.
Trying to stay in contact.
Trying not to lose your mind.

Because you still love them.
But they’re chaotic, emotionally reactive, or stuck in their old patterns.
And no one sees what it’s costing you just to stay in the room.

You don’t want to cut everyone off… but you also can’t keep abandoning yourself.

That in-between place?
That confusion?
Wanting to tear your hair out?
That’s the hardest.

💛 If you’re struggling to reconcile your boundaries and still have a relationship with the people you love—even the ones who constantly cross the line—DM me “boundaries.”
I’ll send you my free guide to help you get clear, grounded, and start protecting your peace.

05/22/2025

I’m an ACoA.
I’ve survived an alcoholic relationship.
And now I make every decision with intention.

No more rushing.
No more shrinking.
No more taking guilt trips I didn’t ask for.

I still have doubt.
But I trust myself more than ever.
And I’m not living for anyone’s comfort but my own.
That’s what recovery looks like.

🤍 Ready to stop feeling dragged by guilt, shame, and everyone else's expectations?
DM me “READY” to start living for you.
I’ll help you get there.

05/21/2025

You’re at the dinner table.
Someone says something off.
Cruel. Passive aggressive. Completely uncalled for.

You speak up—calmly.
And suddenly, the whole room shifts.
Now you’re the problem.
The dramatic one. The “too sensitive” one.

And before you know it, someone’s saying:
“She didn’t mean it like that.”
“You’re always making everything about you.”
“Can’t you just let it go?”

So you get quiet.
Again.

You leave the dinner. You cry in the car.
And somehow, they all go home thinking they did the right thing.
You go home wondering if you’re insane.

But you’re not.

You’re just the only one in the family who’s not numbing.
The only one who can’t pretend anymore.
And when you stop playing along, they need a new villain.
So they pick you.

That’s not your fault.
That’s what happens when families are built around denial.
They choose comfort over truth.
Image over intimacy.
Loyalty over love.

But here’s the good news:
You’re not crazy.
You’re just healing.
And yeah—it’s lonely at first.
But it’s also where real peace begins.

💬 DM me “ENOUGH” if you’re done playing the scapegoat
I offer therapy to adult children of dysfunctional families in PA, NJ, and NY.
Or book a free consult via the link in my bio.

Address

Philadelphia, PA
19123

Opening Hours

Tuesday	9am - 3pm
Wednesday	9am - 3pm
Thursday	9am - 3pm

Telephone

+12672173017

Website

http://www.aylaflemingllc.com/, http://www.calendly.com/aylathetherapist

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