01/21/2026
Sound familiar? Has your therapist given you this face before?
I say this with a dash of dark humor and compassion!
When a client presents like this, my first questions have to do with sleep, rest, and relaxation. When we love someone with addiction, we often get stuck in “fixer” mode. It’s also described as “fight” or “fawn”.
They tell me, if they just find the “right” way to say it, the “right” time, and the “right” intervention, their loved one will finally get sober. Often, it's a fantasy.
This isn’t to say that I advise my clients to always do “tough love”. What’s often hard to see when you’re in the throes of a loved one’s addiction (aka your own codependency) is that things are rarely black and white. The dysfunction between you isn't all their fault, or all your fault. There’s not just one solution. But, the trauma of addiction makes our field of vision small. As a therapist, I see my job as one to widen your view. We can practice that through nervous system regulation, education about addiction and family dynamics, and evidence-based care.
If you want to know how I can help, contact me today for a free consultation- link in bio. Odds are, you’re really good at fixing things. But if this has ben going on for a while, it’s not a matter of whether you have the energy- it’s about whether you are using the right tools 🔗 Click the link in bio to schedule a FREE 15 minute phone consultation with me. I provide weekly, highly specialized family addiction therapy to individuals, couples,and families who are ready to break the cycle for good, and have tried everything else. 🩶
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🌱 Schedule a free therapy consultation call via the link in bio or email me at ayla@aylaflemingllc.com (NY, NJ & PA only)