06/12/2025
It’s been a few weeks since I ditched my smartphone for a flip phone and no, life hasn’t gotten harder. In fact, I hardly notice it's gone.
All the little things that once felt essential when I was overthinking the switch like ordering takeout, checking social media, sending instant payments turned out to be easily replaced or, honestly, not that important at all.
I don’t Grubhub as much. I Venmo from my laptop. And social media? It's there when I choose to sit at my computer, but ordering, scrolling, researching... it doesn’t hold the same power it did when it lived in the palm of my hand. It’s lost its trance.
The hardest part hasn't been about losing access to anything it’s been waking up to how disconnected we are to everything *here* while trying to stay so connected *in there*.
Without my smartphone to lean on, I find myself more present in waiting rooms, in lines, at restaurants, during school pickup. And what I see is everyone else isn’t.
We’re everywhere, but our attention is nowhere. A person’s telling a story to their partner while that partner scrolls. A kind stranger tries to make eye contact, but the moment’s missed. A four-year-old tugs at a parent’s shirt, unnoticed. I used to be that person too more than I realized.
We often justify it:
“I need a moment to zone out.”
“I’m just responding to something important.”
“This is the only time I have to catch up.”
Believe me, I used those lines too. It's why I know them so well. I told myself I had urgent things to handle—emails to send, bills to pay, school forms to submit, calendars to check.
But I’ve managed to do all of that without a smartphone.
Smartphones have become so embedded in our lives that we've stopped giving ourselves credit for what we’re capable of without them. The truth is: most things still work without instant access to a screen.
You can still:
Navigate your day
Coordinate with friends
Pay a bill
Submit a school form
Be entertained
But what we can’t do well when we’re constantly glued to our devices is look someone in the eye. Be interrupted by a child and respond with curiosity. Sit still and feel the boredom or restlessness of a quiet moment. And then move through it.
Our smartphones can keep us connected, but they also are designed like mini slot machines in our pockets. Checking our phones feels a lot like pulling the lever. There’s always the chance, however small, of a reward. A notification, a comment, a bit of novelty. That tiny rush of dopamine keeps us coming back for more. And every day life has a hard time competing with that.
One study found that “phubbing” (snubbing someone in favor of your phone) reduces relationship satisfaction—both for the person being ignored and the one doing the ignoring.¹ Another shows that the average person taps their phone over 2,600 times per day.²
It’s not just habit. It’s design. And it’s working against the kind of presence that relationships thrive on.
I didn’t switch to a flip phone to make a point. I did it because I needed a break. But it’s done something bigger it’s made me see what I couldn’t when I was always in my own screen.
We’re not missing out when we put the phone away. We’re returning to what we’ve always needed: real, unfiltered, here-and-now connection.
