08/24/2025
Many of my clients have struggled with parental relationships. They continue to hold out hope that things will change, and feel obligated to continue toxic relationships because of “who” the relationship is with. When boundaries are a struggle, sometimes the only option is distance to protect one’s own peace. 🌻
If a parent ever says, "My kid cut me off," "They won’t talk to me," or "They won’t let me see the grandkids," don’t just feel sorry for them. Don't immediately accept their victim narrative. Instead, ask the real, uncomfortable question: What did you do that made your own child feel safer without you?
Because kids don’t walk away from their parents for fun. They walk away to protect their peace after years of trying, after endless explaining, after countless tears, after begging to be heard, only to be dismissed or hurt again. What did you do, or repeatedly say, that finally made being without you feel easier than being around you? What specific words or actions, repeated over and over, finally made them stop showing up? How much damage did you cause for them to finally choose distance as their only option for self-preservation?
A child doesn’t cut off a parent unless that parent has emotionally cut them off first. They don’t abandon you unless they have felt profoundly abandoned by you first—abandoned emotionally, psychologically, or even physically. Read that again.
This is a hard truth, an unfiltered emotion that demands accountability. It’s a call to look beyond the surface, to examine one's own role in the breakdown of a relationship, rather than simply blaming the other party.
