02/16/2024
Life has a funny way of making you slow down, prioritize your health, and build strength from somewhere you thought was gone forever.
I was talking to my little brother the other day, going on and on about this giant hole I’ve been in and barely able to claw my way out of. At one point I said “I’m stuck and I don’t know what to do or how to fix it.” And he said something to me, so simple, that I’m sure has been said so many times, but until that very moment in time, I couldn’t see beyond— rather wouldn’t let myself see beyond— and when he said
“You aren’t stuck,” it just clicked.
He was right. I am not stuck. Although things look different at this time, I’m exactly where I need to be—free to feel all the feelings, free to process, work through, question, free to do whatever I need to do in the present moment. In these moments I have felt so out of touch with the power of my self I continued to sink even further.
Sometimes no matter how many tools you have, how many people are in your corner, the amount of opportunity + resources available, just seems too far out of reach.
You may feel stuck, but maybe you aren’t. And just maybe you choose to take one inch in a different direction, one shift in thought, one small action not like the others and tend moment to moment, as you need NOW, right now, this very second rather than what worked in the past, or what could or should have worked.
I realized that in the moments of doing a whole lot of nothing or exactly the same as before, I didn’t get very far. Once I allowed a little (okay a lot) of discomfort in my heart—I mean I cried for days and days on end, hours and hours, and started putting myself in situations, I knew could potentially cause discomfort, mentally and physically, is when I rediscovered and FELT the strength, the light, the courage, the joy, the hope, the purpose filter in.
Thank you to those who created these experiences for me, unknowingly. So many people/interactions/offerings these last few weeks, days, have inspired me.
And from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry to those who got caught in the cross fires, whom I may have hurt, upset, burdened, let down, confused, disappointed.
For my friends, family, clients, and everyone in between, thank you for doing the roller coaster of life with me. Even if you have to get off every once in a while, your endless support means the world to me.
A special thank you to Rowdy Piva. You inspire me and are all the things in this world that make it so beautiful.
