Peace of Mind

10/04/2023

Fun event supporting a great cause! Coming up on October 14.

11/20/2021

A couple days ago I shared a beautiful experience I had at a nursing home. As I shared in that post, when we funeral directors come to remove a deceased person from a nursing home, most nursing homes have a "hide the body" mentality or a "back door policy" that ushers the deceased out the back door so no one sees it.

As I've come to find out, some nursing homes have a "front door policy" where the death is acknowledged and the dead honored by the nursing home and its staff. My recent experience with this "front door policy" included the nursing staff creating a walk of honor. The staff lined the hallway walls as I left the nursing home with the deceased, acknowledging the life lived and lost.

When I shared my experience with the "front door policy" and the "walk of honor", Lisa B. shared this beautiful photo of how her grandfather's nursing home practiced this acknowledgment of death when her grandfather died. As you can see, the staff is creating this beautiful walk of honor to acknowledge the passing of Lisa's grandfather as he leaves the nursing home. I asked Lisa if I could share the photo with you and she gave me permission.

This act, my friends, is a beautiful step away from death denial and towards death positivity.

11/20/2021

Great matter-of-fact information here!

Her viral videos reveal what often happens during death. Even what many people's final words are.

11/13/2021

Really excited for this pop-up art exhibit happening in Port Townsend next weekend!

11/02/2021

Sun rising on the day when the veil is thinnest. Feeling surrounded by those we've lost today... and sending love to those who came before us.

10/13/2021

This is going to be a fun event for a great cause! Check it out! https://peoplesmemorial.org/education-and-advocacy/events.html/event/2021/10/16/trivia-night-a-pma-virtual-fundraiser/354840

09/19/2021

Another good one!

Everyone who’s alive now – you, your friends, your family – one day won’t be. It’s an unavoidable fact, and yet we often go to great lengths to avoid acknowledging it. Jules Howard explains why that might be a mistake.

09/18/2021

This is exactly why I host a monthly "Death Over Drinks" conversation! It's about living.

One woman had read a news article before my first death cafe and was talking in the hair salon about how it was a morbid group getting together to do God knows what. A lot of people still think it's a morbid group.

09/08/2021

This is just lovely.

✨Expected Death ~ When someone dies, the first thing to do is nothing. Don't run out and call the nurse. Don't pick up the phone. Take a deep breath and be present to the magnitude of the moment.

There's a grace to being at the bedside of someone you love as they make their transition out of this world. At the moment they take their last breath, there's an incredible sacredness in the space. The veil between the worlds opens.

We're so unprepared and untrained in how to deal with death that sometimes a kind of panic response kicks in. "They're dead!"

We knew they were going to die, so their being dead is not a surprise. It's not a problem to be solved. It's very sad, but it's not cause to panic.

If anything, their death is cause to take a deep breath, to stop, and be really present to what's happening. If you're at home, maybe put on the kettle and make a cup of tea.

Sit at the bedside and just be present to the experience in the room. What's happening for you? What might be happening for them? What other presences are here that might be supporting them on their way? Tune into all the beauty and magic.

Pausing gives your soul a chance to adjust, because no matter how prepared we are, a death is still a shock. If we kick right into "do" mode, and call 911, or call the hospice, we never get a chance to absorb the enormity of the event.

Give yourself five minutes or 10 minutes, or 15 minutes just to be. You'll never get that time back again if you don't take it now.

After that, do the smallest thing you can. Call the one person who needs to be called. Engage whatever systems need to be engaged, but engage them at the very most minimal level. Move really, really, really, slowly, because this is a period where it's easy for body and soul to get separated.

Our bodies can gallop forwards, but sometimes our souls haven't caught up. If you have an opportunity to be quiet and be present, take it. Accept and acclimatize and adjust to what's happening. Then, as the train starts rolling, and all the things that happen after a death kick in, you'll be better prepared.

You won't get a chance to catch your breath later on. You need to do it now.

Being present in the moments after death is an incredible gift to yourself, it's a gift to the people you're with, and it's a gift to the person who's just died. They're just a hair's breadth away. They're just starting their new journey in the world without a body. If you keep a calm space around their body, and in the room, they're launched in a more beautiful way. It's a service to both sides of the veil.

Credit for the beautiful words ~ Sarah Kerr, Ritual Healing Practitioner and Death Doula , Death doula
Her original video link is here ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7mG0ZAym0w

Beautiful art by Columbus Community Deathcare
Always With Love

06/23/2021

I get questions about what "death doulas" do all the time... this article provides a great explanation.

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