What Helps: PDA, OCD, Low Demand

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What Helps: PDA, OCD, Low Demand

Support for Self-Advocacy

11/27/2025

Holidays can be stressful on so many levels. Give yourself permission to have accommodation plans in place. Your kid on a tablet, eating different food in a different room, needing to leave before other siblings are ready -these are not fails.
REFRAME:
If your child can transition to the car & into someone else’s home -win.
If your child can self-regulate with a screen in a space full of people, sounds, & smells -win.
If your child could take space before having a meltdown -win.
If your child agrees to leave with one parent, even if the other parent and/or siblings stay -win.

Go with an attitude of confidence & not apology. You’re doing what’s best for your child’s needs & helping them engage in the world.

11/22/2025

The truth is there are seasons where we are irreplaceable. Not just anyone can step in. It’s all consuming & while we carry the full load we also are given (but don’t have to keep) the judgment & ridicule of others for our “anxious parenting.” Trust your gut. What you’re doing matters.

11/19/2025

It can be painful & exhausting to be encouraged or shamed to have “better self-care” when parenting a PDAer. Few can comprehend the constant hypervigilence that’s necessary in the harder seasons (years…).
You’re not doing anything wrong.
It truly can be as impossible as it feels.
What we really need are people who believe us, trust us, & will stand by us even when they can’t “fix it.”

11/17/2025

This transformed how we saw our PDAer’s struggles. thank you for the incredible insight ❤️

11/13/2025

Demands are cumulative. Stress is cumulative. Physiological responses are cumulative. Finding ways to turn down the burner decreases boil over.

11/11/2025

We all know how it feels to unintentionally snap at someone when we feel powerless, to come out sideways at something other than the source of our frustration, to pretend we don’t care rather than admit feeling inadequate. Or how about simply being overwhelmed by our emotions in the face of injustice?
When we realize we can relate, we can co-exist in the moment with less judgment & more compassion.
When our PDAers can access coping skills in the moment, they do. When they can’t they need our understanding.
Can’t, not won’t.

11/05/2025

Loss of capacity isn’t a choice.
We use what we have & then we’re done. All of us. We need to recover energy before we can expend more.
A key part of PDA support is front loading rest before “spoon use” & planning for recovery after.
EVERYTHING uses spoons. Ice cream & cough medicine. The good & the hard need this support.

11/01/2025

Why analogies?
Because new information is easier to assimilate when it’s linked to something we already accept or understand.

10/31/2025

Pressure Detonating Anxiety…
It’s cumulative.
“Explaining PDA In Ways That Get You The Understanding & Support You Need”

10/30/2025

Understanding = Empathy = Support
Discover simple ways to help people “get” this PDA life.
I’ll be sharing a series of posts along this topic.

For a full overview, check out PDA North America - Pathological Demand Avoidance & their online learning lab for my training, “Explaining PDA in ways that get you the Support You Need.”

All proceeds support the mission of PDA North America

08/09/2025

What matters most & how can we get there?

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Portland, OR

Website

http://WhatHelps.me/

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