Pier Parent Coaching

Home
United States
Portsmouth, RI
Pier Parent Coaching

🧡 Raising Confident, Capable Kids
🍁 Build Skills to prevent Outbursts, Defiance, ADHD, Anxiety
👇 Join the first-ever Parenting Bootcamp this summer..
(1)

https://www.pierparentmembership.com/bootcamp ☀️Child Psychology Expert | Parent Coach
🎯For Parents of 2-12-Year-Old
🌈Build Happy, Confident Kids Together!
🏆Over 20 Years of Clinical Background

01/25/2026

Somewhere along the way, parenting quietly became a scoreboard.

How many worksheets they finished.
How many classes they attend.
How fast they learned to read.
How well they perform under pressure.

And without realizing it, many parents start measuring their child’s worth in milestones instead of moments. But here’s the truth I keep seeing in my work with families:

♥️ A child can achieve a lot…and still feel chronically anxious.
A child can be “doing great”…and still feel deeply disconnected from themselves.

A child can meet every expectation…and quietly believe love is earned, not given.

That’s why the real mindset shift in parenting is this:
Not “How much did you accomplish today?”
But
“How did it feel to be you today?”

Did they feel safe making mistakes?
Did they feel free to ask questions?
Did they feel allowed to rest?
Did they feel loved even when they struggled?

Because children who grow up enjoying the process of learning…
- stay curious.
- stay confident.
- stay emotionally flexible.

And those children grow into adults who don’t burn out the moment life gets hard.
Achievement without emotional safety creates pressure.
Achievement with emotional safety creates resilience.

And that quietly, gently, daily is the real work of parenting.
Not raising a child who performs.
But raising a child who feels alive while growing.

01/24/2026

I tell parents this in my practice all the time:
You can’t teach emotional regulation from a dysregulated body.

When your system is in survival mode, everything feels urgent.
- Every whine feels louder.
- Every meltdown feels personal.

So here are practical ways to step out of survival mode, the kind that actually work in real homes:

1. Name your own body state before addressing your child.
Tight chest? Clenched jaw? Shallow breath?
That’s your cue to pause. Not your child’s behavior.

2. Take one slow exhale before speaking.
Not three. Not ten.
Just one long exhale.
It signals safety to your nervous system in seconds.

3. Drop your voice lower than your child’s.
A calm voice regulates faster than any “script”.

4. Touch before talking.
A hand on the back. A shoulder squeeze.
Connection first. Words later.

5. Validate the feeling, not the behavior.
“I see you’re frustrated.”
Not: “Stop crying.”

When you practice these tiny shifts,
you stop parenting from survival.
And start parenting from safety.

That’s when children learn:
“My feelings make sense.”
And parents feel:
“I can handle this.”

01/23/2026

As a parent coach, I meet certain parents who use sadness as their coping mechanism.
Not intentionally.
Not dramatically. Just… quietly.

Sadness became their safe place. Their familiar rhythm.
Their emotional home.

So when joy shows up? It feels unfamiliar.
Unpredictable.
Even unsafe.

And here’s the part most people don’t talk about: Children raised in that environment learn to dim their excitement, soften their laughter, downplay their wins because somewhere in their nervous system, happiness feels like something that might be taken away.

This isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness.
Because when co-happiness feels unsafe in a family, kids don’t just inherit genes. They inherit emotional posture.

The good news? This can be rewired.
Joy is a skill. Safety is a skill.
Emotional expansion is a skill.

📌 And parents can learn it at any stage.
Not by forcing positivity.
But by slowly teaching the nervous system: “It’s okay to feel good. We’re safe here.”

01/22/2026

You’re not raising a sensitive child. You might be raising a hypersensitive environment.

And before you tense up, this isn’t blame.
Most families are doing this without realizing it.

A hypersensitive home looks like:
• Every feeling becomes an emergency
• Adults rush to fix discomfort instantly
• Small frustrations get big reactions
• Parents walk on eggshells
• Peace is maintained by avoiding triggers

On the surface, it looks loving.
Attentive. Emotionally aware.

But underneath, children learn something subtle:
“I can’t handle discomfort unless someone rescues me.”
So the tolerance for frustration shrinks.
Confidence shrinks.
Resilience shrinks.

And the child looks “extra sensitive”…
when really, their environment trained their nervous system to stay on high alert.

📌 Here are quiet signs most families miss:
• Your child panics quickly over small problems
• They ask for reassurance constantly
• They avoid anything slightly challenging
• You feel exhausted trying to keep them calm
• The whole house revolves around preventing meltdowns

Again, not bad parenting.
Just a nervous system pattern that can be repaired.

Repair looks like:
• Letting small discomforts stay small
• Pausing before rescuing
• Trusting your child’s capacity
• Modeling calm instead of urgency
• Allowing frustration to be survived, not eliminated

Kids don’t need perfect calm homes.
They need homes that believe they can handle life.
And that shift changes everything.

01/20/2026

Not punishments.
Not sticker charts.
Not louder consequences.

I’m talking about the everyday habits kids silently copy. 👇

Because children don’t learn discipline from what we say.
They learn it from what they watch.

Here’s what I see in homes every single day:
• Cooking while scrolling YouTube
• Eating meals with a phone in hand
• Saying “wait” to your child because a reel is finishing
• Telling them to focus… while multitasking constantly
• Asking them to regulate emotions… while we numb ours with screens

🤷‍♀️ And then we wonder:
“Why can’t my child sit still?”
“Why don’t they listen?”
“Why are they always seeking stimulation?”

Because their nervous system has learned:
- attention is always divided.

Discipline isn’t taught through rules. It’s absorbed through rhythm, presence, and modeling.

If you want your child to:
✔ stay at the table
✔ finish tasks
✔ tolerate boredom
✔ manage impulses

They need to see you doing the same.
No perfection required.

Just small daily moments of undivided presence.
Put the phone down while stirring the food.
Look at them while they talk.
Eat one meal a day screen-free.
Tiny changes.

Huge nervous system shifts. Your child isn’t ignoring your lessons. They’re studying your lifestyle.

01/19/2026

Not every meltdown is a misbehavior. Sometimes, it’s a nervous system waving a white flag.

Here’s when discipline actually makes things worse:

✨ When your toddler is melting down after a long day
✨ When they’re hungry, tired, or overstimulated
✨ When they’re crying over something that seems “small” to you
✨ When they suddenly refuse everything you ask

In these moments, their thinking brain is offline.No lesson will land.No consequence will teach.

What helps instead?

📌 Getting down to their eye level
📌 Softening your voice, not raising it
📌 Naming the feeling before fixing the behavior
📌 Staying calm enough for their body to borrow your calm

This is emotional intelligence in parenting.
Not permissive. Not strict. But attuned.

Because connection is what builds regulation. And regulation is what builds better behavior on a long term.

If parenting feels like constant firefighting, you’re not failing.
You’re just missing this piece most parents were never taught.

01/18/2026

As a child psychologist, I don’t look at a child and think,
“Oh, single parent home” or “two parent home.”
That’s not how development works.
What I do notice is something far more telling ….who is carrying the emotional load at home.
Because children don’t respond to the number of adults in the house.
They respond to:
- how regulated the main caregiver feels
- how predictable the environment is
- whether someone consistently repairs after hard moments
- whether love feels safe, not performative

I’ve seen children from two-parent homes feel emotionally alone. And children from single-parent homes feel deeply secure.

The overlooked truth: One emotionally available adult beats two emotionally exhausted adults every time.

So if you’re parenting solo and worrying,
“Is this enough?”
Let me say this clearly: Your presence matters more than your family structure. And if you’re parenting with a partner, the question isn’t “Are we two?”

It’s “Are we emotionally aligned?”
That’s what children feel.
Not labels. Not numbers.
Nervous systems.

01/13/2026

Some weeks the lunches are packed, but the laundry lives in a mountain.
Some weeks the house is calm, but patience is running on 2%.
Some weeks you’re the connected, regulated parent you wanted to be…and other weeks you’re whisper-counting to ten behind a closed bathroom door.

This is real life with limited energy and a very full nervous system. You’re not supposed to “balance it all.”
You’re just constantly choosing what gets your energy today. And if today that was feeding your child, keeping everyone safe and making it through bedtime without yelling…that counts more than you think 💙

01/12/2026

“If they know better, why are they still doing this?”

If that sentence lives rent-free in your head, read this. 👇

✨ Knowing better isn’t doing better.
Your child can understand rules perfectly… and still fall apart when emotions flood their body.

✨ Skills go offline under stress.
Tired. Hungry. Overstimulated.
In those moments, the thinking brain taps out.
Self-control isn’t available even if it was yesterday.

✨ Meltdowns aren’t a choice.
They’re not being dramatic.
They’re not trying to manipulate you.
They’re signaling: “I can’t access my skills right now.”

✨ Pressure makes it worse.
Lectures. Threats. Consequences mid-meltdown.
It adds shame.
And shame never builds regulation.

✨ Skills are built in calm, not chaos.
Regulation is learned through your modeling, your tone, your repair, not forced in the heat of the moment.
Your child isn’t refusing to do better.

They’re showing you where they still need support.
And that’s not a parenting failure.
It’s a roadmap.

If this hit home, share it with a parent who keeps hearing “they know better” in their head.

01/10/2026

Most behavior problems…aren’t behavior problems at all.
They’re nervous system problems.

What looks like defiance, attitude, refusal, or “not listening”
is often a child whose body is overwhelmed.

And when the body is stressed, the brain literally cannot access flexibility, problem-solving, or self-control even if your child knows the rules.

Here’s what that means in real life:

✨ Overwhelmed bodies can’t do better
Kids don’t choose dysregulation.
Hunger. Sleep debt. Sensory overload. Transitions.
Their system gets pushed past capacity and behavior becomes communication.

✨ Why correcting behavior backfires
In a meltdown, the thinking brain is offline.
So more explaining, warning, or consequences only pour fuel on the fire.
No lesson lands when the nervous system feels unsafe.

✨ Prevention lives in the basics
Predictable routines. Nourishment. Rest. Connection.
These aren’t “nice to have.”
They are the foundation for regulation.

✨ Regulation comes before teaching
Calm body first.
Then skills.
Not the other way around.

✨ Small shifts create big change
Meeting the nervous system doesn’t lower expectations.
It creates the conditions where your child can actually meet them.
Behavior isn’t random.
It’s information. And when we learn to read it…everything changes.

01/08/2026

And that’s where most families get stuck.
Not because therapy isn’t working.
Not because your child isn’t trying.

But because no one showed you what to do after the appointment.

Here’s the truth 👇
✨ Therapy works best as a team effort
Children don’t live in therapy rooms. They live in homes, schools, and daily routines. Progress sticks when everyone understands the plan.

✨ Parents are the primary change agents
You’re the one responding to big emotions, refusals, and unsafe behaviour, every single day.

✨ Insight alone doesn’t change behavior
Understanding feelings matters.
But skills like what to say, how to respond, when to step in are what actually change life at home.

✨ Consistency builds regulation
When your child experiences the same language, expectations, and support across settings, their nervous system feels safer.
✨ Parent involvement is not blame, it’s empowerment
Parents don’t need guilt.

They need clarity.
They need tools.
They need confidence.

Good therapy supports the entire family system.

👉 Share this with a parent who leaves therapy sessions feeling unsure of what comes next.
They’re not failing. They were just never given the map.

01/07/2026

✨ This is way more common than parents admit
Most parents walk out of sessions feeling encouraged—yet confused when real-life behavior shows up later. You’re not alone in that gap.

✨ Therapy is one hour a week. That hour matters.
But your child lives the other 167 hours with you. That’s where learning actually gets practiced.

✨ Behavior shows up where kids feel safest
The meltdowns, refusals, aggression?
They usually happen at home not because things are getting worse, but because attachment lives there.

✨ Parents don’t need reports. They need skills.
Knowing what was discussed isn’t enough.
Real progress happens when you know what to say, what to do, and how to respond in the moment.

✨ When parents are included, change accelerates
The fastest growth happens when therapy and home work together, not separately.
You’re not doing something wrong.
You’re asking the right question.

Save this , you’ll want to come back to it 💙

Address

Portsmouth, RI

Website

https://calendly.com/pierparentcoaching/consult

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Pier Parent Coaching posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Pier Parent Coaching:

Shortcuts

Want your practice to be the top-listed Clinic in Portsmouth?