05/21/2026
I was 10 when an older cousin said I would struggle with my weight my whole life. I was twelve when my mom’s friend said I shouldn’t have another piece of chocolate, 14 when someone said I would be much prettier if I only lost some weight and 15 when I started starving myself. Why am I telling you this? Because last week my daughter told me that one of her friends at school told her at a birthday party that she didn’t want any cake because she was fat and then added that her parents told her she ‘could lose some weight’. My heart sunk. It brought back so many memories of all the things I was told when I was her age and older and how they made me feel. And to be clear - this is NOT about criticizing her parents AT ALL. I know that what they want is the absolute best for their child. I know that they are scared because as a society we still associate a lot of bad things with being fat. We still can’t imagine someone being happy, successful, sexy, healthy etc unless they are thin, so as parents when we see our child, who maybe doesn’t fit into what we have been told has to be the mold, we panic. I get it. I’m no expart on body image and certainly not on child development but I can tell you from my own experience that all those well meant pieces of advice I received when I was little led to years of yo yo dieting and self loathing. They did not make me “healthy”, “happy” or successful. They just made me suffer. The best advice someone who knows a little more than I do about how to talk to kids gave me when I asked what I should tell my girls about their bodies was - ‘nothing’. Nothing unless asked, and as little as possible about what it looks like at least. Talking about other people’s bodies is not necessary and if you really want to tell them something then maybe focus on other aspects of it rather than what it looks like. Because I’ll tell you something - those well meant, coming from a loving place words last forever and sometimes shape how we see ourselves for life. So please, whatever you do - choose them wisely. TAG A FRIEND