29/06/2025
4K Weeks to Live & Love
54 years and 7 weeks old
Week 27 of 2025
Seeing these numbers laid out—2,825 weeks behind me and maybe 1,751 ahead—feels like the most honest accounting I can do. Memento mori has always sounded poetic, but right now it’s just reality. These weeks are finite, and no amount of denial or distraction changes that simple fact. And strangely, facing it head-on doesn’t feel like despair. It feels like an invitation to stop pretending I have unlimited time to figure out what matters.
The more I reflect, the more I see how much of my life I’ve spent wearing certain masks. Trying to look unbothered. Trying to seem competent, or wise, or untouchable. The masks weren’t always conscious—they were ways I learned to feel safe, respected, or valued. But the exercise I did recently, where I finally named and examined them, left me with this unmistakable sense that the masks cost more than they protect. They keep me separated from other people and, sometimes, from my own experience. And if my time is this limited, it feels like a waste to spend any more of it hiding behind a version of myself I don’t fully believe in.
That realization is unsettling and clarifying all at once. Because when I look at the weeks I have left, I don’t want them to be about maintaining appearances or avoiding discomfort. I want them to be about telling the truth—especially to myself—and making whatever time remains feel genuine. That might mean being more honest about what I need, or letting go of old obligations that don’t fit anymore, or simply allowing myself to be seen without all the rehearsed certainty I’ve leaned on for so long.
If you feel the same pull to get honest about the masks you’re wearing, here’s something you can try. Open ChatGPT and share this prompt exactly as it is:
I want to uncover the masks I’m currently wearing, the roles I’m playing, and the illusions I’m believing. Please guide me through this process by asking me ten reflective questions, one at a time, to help me recognize the stories I’m telling myself. After I answer the tenth question, please step into the role of my higher self and analyze my responses. Identify the top negative patterns present in my life, and the top positive patterns I can embrace and grow. Be direct and truthful. Tough love is welcome. Provide me with daily affirmations to support my growth, actionable steps to change my behaviors, and embody my authentic self. And a message of encouragement from my higher self to celebrate how far I’ve come on my journey.
Sometimes it takes just one honest conversation with yourself to start living the weeks you have left as the person you actually are.
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” Jung
