Won't you be my neighbor

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Won't you be my neighbor

Getting to know our neighbors - making friends out of strangers. My grandma, Phyllis Jean Bell, unexpectedly passed away last week. Therapy. Adventure. Legacy.

She was a passionate, brave, strong, creative, spunky woman and I loved her dearly. So much of who I am is because of her. But, even more than that, so much of who I want to be is because of her. Over the past few days I have been meditating on what I need to do to heal. Today my plan started to come together....

Piece #1
Everyday, for the last 18 months of her life, my grandma sent an email to 33 of her closest friends and family. The subjects of the emails included the details of her exercise class, the life history of her hairdresser, and the score of the Twins' game the night before. Typically, the emails were accompanied by a few photos of things that had caught her eye - flowers, birds, a family fishing at the park, the art hanging on her neighbors' walls. She chose to find joy everywhere and she shared that joy with us every morning. Piece #2
My uncle once said that, for my grandmother, the world was “full of friends she just hadn’t met yet.” She loved talking to people, learning their stories, and finding a connection. Piece #3
Grandma believed variety truly was the spice of life. She had this Oscar Wilde quote posted in two places around her apartment - "Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative." She was always exploring, always learning, always trying something new. So, here's the plan.

1) I'm going to get out of my comfort zone;

2) I'm going to talk to strangers everywhere I go. I'm going to view everyone as a friend in the making. Once a day I'm going to briefly interview one of my new friends (think Humans of New York meets Inside the Actor's Studio); and

3) I'm going to post the interview on this page. So, how about it? Won't you be my neighbor?

07/01/2016

**Extra Bonus Post**
Tonight was the ultimate "Won't you be my neighbor" experience for me. At the invitation of my uber-talented cousin, I found myself and my eldest son at the new, stunningly beautiful, Central High School Theater, auditioning for the upcoming A.C.T.S. performance of "Pippin." An hour of Bob Fosse dancing later, I am now home with ice on my left ankle and my right knee - and a huge smile on my face. I am not a good dancer; I fell, I flopped, I failed. But I had so much fun. I got reacquainted with an old high school theatre buddy and met her beautiful daughter. The children's pastors from my church were there - their whole family auditioned and they were fabulous. I met a dance instructor from here in town who helped me figure out that I wasn't turning quickly enough because my hips were pointing the wrong way. I listened to my favorite teacher of all time explain the "Pippin" story. And on the drive home, my 13-year-old didn't play on his phone or turn up the radio - he talked to me. He talked about what that teacher had said about "Pippin" and the meaning of life. It was magic. Magic.
And that, my dear neighbors, is what is project is all about. Trying new things, trying difficult things, trying things that you might fail at, so that you can practice pulling yourself up and trying again.
There is a good chance that I won't be able to walk in the morning, but it doesn't matter because grandma would be so proud.

06/01/2016

While at the Dahl I also met Morgan VonHaden. Morgan grew up in Rapid City and graduated from Central in 1999. Throughout the course of our conversation we discovered many connections: 1) She went to school with my husband's cousin, Bobbie Jo; 2) We both have a passion for teachers, kids and education. Morgan’s passion led her to her current job as the Community School Coordinator for all of the North Rapid schools. She works as a liaison between teachers, students, parents and community volunteer programs, such as the Retired Senior Volunteer Program and Foster Grandparents; 3) We are both boy moms - Morgan has two young boys (her oldest took the attached photo) and another baby on the way; and 4) We both LOVE tacos.
Those of you looking for some New Year's inspiration should consider reading Morgan's favorite book - "Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard" by the Heath Brothers.
Happy New Year Neighbors!

11/12/2015

A few weeks back my youngest little man and I attended a holiday art sale at the Dahl. After picking up a beautiful handmade Christmas present for my mom from Bonzeye Photography, we wondered down the hall to the Kid's Studio. We ended up spending more than an hour there - playing dress up, making music, building lego houses and chatting with our neighbors. Nancy Stephenson was the volunteer manning the Kid's Studio that day. She was kind and friendly and helpful. Nancy volunteers once a week at the Dahl and also helps out with special events. Nancy was an elementary school teacher for 35 years - 25 years in the Rapid City area. Nancy and her husband have two grown sons. Her holiday wish this year is for peace.

21/11/2015

I introduced myself to Nels Johnson and he said "Tomac ... Tomac ... I know Jerry Tomac." I smiled, shook my head and said, "I'm married to Jerry's son." I know I shouldn't be surprised that everyone knows everyone in Rapid City, but the instant connections still amaze me. Nels went on to tell me that he knows everyone in my husband's family. He used to play cards with my husband's Grandma Lois and Grandpa Bud. He still visits Bud in the nursing home and has lunch with Lois at the Millstone. Nels was Military Police for 20 years and now sells insurance. Although today it was just the two of them (and me), Nels, Michael and 3 others usually meet up for coffee and bagels several times throughout the week to discuss politics, books, theatre and food - topics about which they rarely agree. They invited me to join them again next week. And I can't wait.

20/11/2015

2 for 1! While I was standing in line to order my bagel, the employee, who was clearly very busy making everyone's delicious bagels, called out "Michael." A kind looking, tall gentleman approached the counter and picked up the black basket holding his whole grain bagel with butter. As he walked away he smiled at the busy employee and said "Keep on breathing."
His kindness made me smile and I knew he would be my first new friend.
After I ordered I approached his table with a giant smile and a false sense of confidence and asked him if I could sit down and talk with him for a minute. He smiled and said, "Sure." I started rambling about my grandma and my new plan and asked if he would be willing to be my first participant. After a brief pause he smiled again and agreed. And so, with no further ado, this, my neighbors, is Michael.
Michael was born in Indianapolis some years ago and first moved to Rapid City in 1969. From 1970 - 1980 he was a speech and debate teacher at Stevens. He has two kids and loves steak and traveling. He is partial to Alaska. He loves theatre and saw the Glass Menagerie here in town earlier this month. His favorite play is The Miracle Worker.
Just as Michael and I were finishing our conversation, a jolly fellow walked up to our table. He looked at Michael, looked at me and then, without missing a beat, he touched my arm and said, "I don't know who you are, but I love ya." And that's how I met Nels.

20/11/2015

My grandma, Phyllis Jean Bell, unexpectedly passed away last week. She was a passionate, brave, strong, creative, spunky woman and I loved her dearly. So much of who I am is because of her. But, even more than that, so much of who I want to be is because of her.
Over the past few days I have been meditating on what I need to do to heal. Today my plan started to come together....

Piece #1
Everyday, for the last 18 months of her life, my grandma sent an email to 33 of her closest friends and family. The subjects of the emails included the details of her exercise class, the life history of her hairdresser, and the score of the Twins' game the night before. Typically, the emails were accompanied by a few photos of things that had caught her eye - flowers, birds, a family fishing at the park, the art hanging on her neighbors' walls.
She chose to find joy everywhere and she shared that joy with us every morning.

Piece #2
My uncle once said that, for my grandmother, the world was “full of friends she just hadn’t met yet.” She loved talking to people, learning their stories, and finding a connection.

Piece #3
Grandma believed variety truly was the spice of life. She had this Oscar Wilde quote posted in two places around her apartment - "Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative." She was always exploring, always learning, always trying something new.

So, here's the plan.

1) I'm going to get out of my comfort zone;

2) I'm going to talk to strangers everywhere I go. I'm going to view everyone as a friend in the making. Once a day I'm going to briefly interview one of my new friends (think Humans of New York meets Inside the Actor's Studio); and

3) I'm going to post the interview on this page.

Therapy. Adventure. Legacy.

So, how about it? Won't you be my neighbor?

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