09/07/2025
I was sitting in my zoom class this morning with the group of mindful Teachers Community Network and I couldn’t help but think about something that I had written and posted yesterday for you to read. I want to stress that if you are a practicing person using meditation and in prayer and you are still feeling negative emotions that you are doing nothing wrong but negative emotions and good emotions are always with us and we have to learn how to manage those feelings. So I have rewritten what I posted yesterday and I’m going to share it with you today. I know it’s a long reading, but I hope that you will take time to read it and you will understand a little bit more about how you can use mindfulness and mindfulness based stress reduction to manage physical and emotional pain:
“LEARNING TO TRUST DIVINE ORDER
Have you ever been in a situation that didn’t work out the way you hoped and expected and you didn’t get what you thought you wanted? Recently, I wanted to celebrate my daughter‘s birthday with her in person and celebrate this special occasion with her adult daughters and her son that’s living at home, but I learned that isn’t going to work out.
At first my gut reaction came with feeling of sadness and disappointment. It was almost too overwhelming. To end my suffering I knew I must release my attachment and rely on divine order. The experience I had over disappointment about my daughter‘s birthday plans and thinking I would not be able to celebrate with her and her family reminded me of how important it is to have patience and to wait for divine order to unfold.
While my initial gut reaction was one of sadness and disappointment, I had to shake my sad feelings and disappointment. This is not easy. No matter that my desire to see them was based on a mother’s/grandmother’s bond based on blood relationship and innocently having been attached to rigid time frames and specific outcomes. I had to get clear on my goals. Changing the mindset is an ongoing process. The process requires us to meditate and sooth the self each time the “longing to see them and be with my own” tugs at the heart strings ( a gut feeling). Using this rational mindfulness approach in managing my sadness and disappointment helps me mentally to be in equilibrium/the sense of wellbeing.
Please note: staying away from family members or loved ones does not mean that you will be able to avoid possible feelings of sadness, disappointment, and anxiety. Nothing can completely prevent you from feeling negative emotions. That avoidance is in itself is an act of rigid control. You cannot, quite simply put, you cannot adhere to being free from feeling badly because attachments and expectations are always with us just as Mara was always antagonizing Buddha. You can’t shut yourself off from having an encounter with another person because you’re afraid it’s going to hurt in someway. You must hope and do what you can to cultivate a relationship that is a give and take relationship, and you do have to give and take to demonstrate love and affection. You must give and take to align your self with what is there for you. And may I add, simply saying.”I love you,” with no action to support those words, the words are meaningless.
Healthy relationships, satisfaction in life, and having more love in my life, these are the desires I take into prayer and meditation to spiritually surrender them. You can do this, too. The mind may have been limited, but the innate divine mind is limitless. With a grateful heart and using the divine mind, I released my desire for control and trust that the best outcome may be beyond my imagination. And I do have have to practice this over and over again. You can practice this, too.
If you find yourself in this kind of situation where you became attached to an outcome and are disappointed, may my shared experience be a reminder to you to use your limitless divine mind to relax, release, and trust Divine order. ~ Jeanne Schneider Vargas
