Audrey Schoen, LMFT

09/04/2025

Women initiate 70% of divorces (90% among college-educated women), but the reason might surprise you. It's not about being "difficult" or "hard to please."

It's about equity. And when marriages become truly equitable, everyone wins - literally everyone.

Men in equitable marriages report higher satisfaction, better communication, and stronger intimacy. Women experience better health outcomes and life satisfaction. Oh, and equitable couples have more s*x too…

The data is clear: equity isn't just nice to have in marriage. It's what makes relationships thrive.

Ready to understand what creates relationships that actually get better over time? See the full breakdown in my recent blog.

www.audreylmft.com/blogs/why-equitable-marriages-create-stronger-happier-relationships

09/02/2025

You'd think working on yourself first would help your marriage.

But here's what actually happens:
→ You spend weeks venting about your partner's flaws
→ Your therapist validates every frustration (which feels good)
→ You're encouraged to "set boundaries" and "speak your truth"
→ No one advocates for your relationship
→ You get empowered... right out of your marriage

The problem?
Individual empowerment and relational empowerment are completely different skills.

Most therapists only know how to teach one of them.
Individual empowerment teaches you to advocate for yourself. Relational empowerment teaches you to advocate for yourself AND your relationship simultaneously.

The difference between these approaches can literally determine whether your marriage survives therapy.

Want to know more? I wrote a detailed blog post breaking down:
✔️ Why traditional individual therapy can backfire on relationships
✔️ The research behind relational empowerment
✔️ Red flags to watch for in therapy
✔️ How to find the right therapeutic support for your marriage

Read the full post here:

https://www.audreylmft.com/blogs/how-the-wrong-individual-therapist-can-damage-your-marriage

08/28/2025

"My therapist told me to set firmer boundaries with my husband."

But boundaries without relational awareness can destroy intimacy.

Individual empowerment teaches you to protect yourself FROM your partner.

Relational empowerment teaches you to protect yourself AND your relationship.

The difference? One creates walls, the other creates safety.

Your marriage doesn't need more barriers. It needs more skill.

Ready to learn the difference?

Click here to read the full post on how to set boundaries that actually build connection.

https://www.audreylmft.com/blogs/how-the-wrong-individual-therapist-can-damage-your-marriage

08/21/2025

Research shows that people who seek individual therapy for relationship problems are significantly more likely to get divorced than those who choose couples therapy.

This happens because traditional individual therapy focuses on personal empowerment without considering relational dynamics. The therapist only hears one side of the story and often validates frustrations without exploring your role in the relationship patterns.

I'm trained in systems thinking and Relational Life Therapy, so when I work with individuals on relationship issues, I help you develop both personal awareness AND relational skills. The goal is to empower you within the context of your relationship, not empower you out of it. If you're considering therapy for relationship concerns, I can help you determine whether individual or couples work would be most beneficial for your specific situation.

Read more about the difference between individual and couples therapy in my latest blog post https://www.audreylmft.com/blogs/how-the-wrong-individual-therapist-can-damage-your-marriage

If you're ready to get support that truly fits your situation, work with me: https://www.audreylmft.com/contact

08/14/2025

The difference?

→ Individual empowerment: "Speak your truth, set boundaries, prioritize your needs."

→ Relational empowerment: "Speak your truth while staying curious about your partner's experience. Set boundaries that protect both you and the relationship."

One creates distance. One creates intimacy.

Guess which one most therapists are trained in?

I use Relational Life Therapy because it addresses relationships at the core level.

Fast-working interventions that get to the root, not just manage symptoms.

If you're done with surface-level fixes and want to actually heal the dynamic—not just manage it—head to the blog for the full breakdown.

https://www.audreylmft.com/blogs/how-the-wrong-individual-therapist-can-damage-your-marriage

08/07/2025

Plot twist: That weekly venting session where your therapist nods sympathetically while you list your partner's flaws? It might be making things worse.

Research shows people who do individual therapy for relationship issues are MORE likely to divorce than those who do couples therapy.

Why? Because ventilation without consideration creates distance, not connection.

Real relationship healing happens when you learn to advocate for yourself AND your relationship simultaneously.

That's called relational empowerment, and it's a completely different skill than individual empowerment.

Curious what relational empowerment actually looks like in practice? I break it down in the latest blog.
https://www.audreylmft.com/blogs/how-the-wrong-individual-therapist-can-damage-your-marriage

06/20/2025

That bigger whiteboard, extra hour, or new app might feel like the solution, but often, it’s about recognizing your limits and giving yourself permission to let go of what doesn’t serve your well-being.

In my latest blog, I share a vulnerable moment of overwhelm and the powerful lessons I learned about acceptance and prioritizing what truly matters.

Read more here:
https://www.audreylmft.com/blogs/when-a-bigger-whiteboard-wont-help-letting-go-in-the-face-of-overwhelm

06/10/2025

Some days, the overwhelm hits so hard that even the “right” systems don’t help.

When my kids started school a couple of years back, the stress I’d been carrying suddenly broke through in tears I didn’t expect.

Buying a bigger whiteboard felt like a solution, but really, it was a metaphor for trying to contain too much in too little time and space.

I wrote a blog sharing what I learned about reaching my breaking point, choosing what to release, and finding peace in the process.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Read more here:
https://www.audreylmft.com/blogs/when-a-bigger-whiteboard-wont-help-letting-go-in-the-face-of-overwhelm

05/29/2025

In relationships, appreciating what’s working is just as important as addressing what’s not.

Take time to cherish the little things and express appreciation for what your partner does well.

A simple “thank you” or a thoughtful compliment can go a long way in strengthening your connection.

Read the full blog and grab your free guide to get all 5 strategies that build strong relationships.

https://www.audreylmft.com/blogs/5-powerful-strategies-to-transform-good-relationships-into-great-ones

05/24/2025

What if your first instinct was to say yes?
When we respond to our partner with generosity, we shift from “me vs. you” to “us.”

Try this:
💬 “You’re right, I did forget.”
💬 “Thanks for reminding me.”
💬 “Next time I will set at alert on my phone so I don't forget, I know it's important.”

Giving from a generous place can soften even the hardest conversations.

For more practical, everyday shifts that transform your relationship, head to the full blog + grab my free downloadable guide!

https://www.audreylmft.com/blogs/5-powerful-strategies-to-transform-good-relationships-into-great-ones

05/19/2025

You don’t have to agree.

You do have to be willing to understand.

In strong relationships, the goal isn’t to be “right”. It’s to reconnect.

Ask questions like:
- “Can you help me understand how you were feeling?”
- “What was that moment like for you?”

Connection matters more than being right.

Want more relationship-strengthening strategies? Head to my full blog post and download my free Five Winning Strategies guide!

https://www.audreylmft.com/blogs/5-powerful-strategies-to-transform-good-relationships-into-great-ones

05/19/2025

My most recent blog about why so many women are choosing not to have more children. Take a look.

How Inequity at Home Is Driving Family Planning Decisions There has been a lot of talk about the declining birth rate in America, the reasons behind it and some rather misguided ideas about how to bring the number up. So I figured. As a couples therapist with over a decade of experience, and 2 ki