10/25/2025
We Get No Do Overs in Hospice: Why We Hesitate to Say “I’m Sorry”
Recently, I read an article on Medscape by Paolo Spriano titled “Why Doctors Hesitate to Say ‘I’m Sorry’ After Errors.” His words stayed with me. In hospice, where every interaction can leave a lasting imprint, the idea of apology takes on an even deeper meaning.
Apologies in healthcare are often described as a professional obligation, a way to acknowledge what went wrong and express regret. But in hospice, I am sorry is far more than that. It is a human response that can heal the space between intention and perception. It reminds us that compassion often begins where perfection ends.
In our work, we all make choices and carry responsibilities that touch lives in profound ways. Whether we are nurses, social workers, chaplains, volunteers, or administrators, there are times when something we say or do, or fail to say or do, lands differently than we intended. Families may feel unseen, or patients may feel unheard. Their perception becomes our reality, and in hospice, that reality matters deeply.
That is why I am sorry is not just for doctors. It belongs to all of us. Saying those words requires courage. It asks us to bring our full selves into the moment, to let down our professional armor, and to be vulnerable. It means choosing connection over protection.
In hospice, we get no do overs. We have one chance to be present, one chance to build trust, one chance to comfort a family in their most tender moments. When we offer a sincere apology, we create space for healing, not only for those we serve but for ourselves as well.
At CHAPCA, we often speak about meeting patients and families where they are. Sometimes, that place is one of pain, disappointment, or misunderstanding. In those moments, I am sorry can bridge the distance between their experience and our intent. It can restore trust, reaffirm compassion, and remind us why we do this work — to walk beside others with honesty, empathy, and heart.
In hospice, we get no do overs. But we do get the chance, every day, to make things right through kindness, humility, and the courage to say, I am sorry. https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/why-doctors-hesitate-say-im-sorry-after-errors-2025a1000s6g?form=fpf
