White Door Tarot

11/26/2025

11/25/2025

11/25/2025

New Nandi Speaks dropped! I never planned on doing this but I felt called to tell my own story on my channel. So if you're curious about how I became who I am and how I tick, here it is.

11/23/2025

I was remembering one night, when I was touring in Kyoto, my friend and I were walking back from the train station from a show I just performed.

I was carrying my guitar on my back and she wanted to stop by her friend's bar on the way to her house.

She started humming, I started singing along to it. I sat on the ground by a pillar, near a crosswalk, and started strumming. She started singing. I started singing. We sang "Volcano" by Damien Rice. A small crowd formed. We got some tips. I sold a couple extra CDs out of my guitar case.

We got up, continued to the bar, and next thing I knew, I started singing and strumming. I went on from 10pm to 6am. Five people stayed and listened for the entire time.

The way I gravitated back to the guitar, and singing, over and over in the night, after playing a concert, and then singing at the crosswalk, felt like the gravity that pulls one back into the arms of their lover, over and over again. It felt inevitable. It felt like surrender.

Before anything or anyone else, music was my first love, my greatest love. I've been singing since I was 3. The all-consuming feeling, doing something so natural to you, the animalistic, but refined feeling of art coming from the bare body, is a love I have never found in another person.

In knowing love like this, sometimes I feel blessed to have been born with an artist's soul. To live life in prismacolor. For the days to feel like dark chocolate and blood, compared to what I imagine a life without the lens of artistry, must feel like.

11/23/2025

11/23/2025

Basically the Virgo reading I just did in a nutshell. But also on a different vein...

When I say that people don't need to be reminded to value what they value, this is what I'm saying. If someone doesn't treat you well but you stay because they say they love you or their energy says they love you, the choice whether to accept that love or not is yours. The decision of whether or not that love is good enough for you is yours. But I can say for certain that if someone truly cares about you, "I love you" wouldn't feel like a chain that binds you to mistreatment.

When we love a plant, we don't insist it takes whatever treatment we want to give it. We take the time to learn its needs and adjust accordingly. It'll die if we don't.

When we love a pet, we don't just feed it whatever we want to feed it and expect it to be healthy and happy. We take the time to learn what it needs to thrive and cater to that. It'll die if we don't.

When you tolerate a love that doesn't give you what you need, you are accepting less than a freaking houseplant would. You can't thrive just accepting whatever anyone wants to toss your way. You deserve someone whose love aligns with their actions and decisions. Someone who bothers to learn you and love you in the way you need. You deserve to say no to anything that isn't that. You'll die if you don't.

And on their end, it really is true when they say, if they wanted to, they would. I see people post about how that isn't always true because people have mental illness or traumas or whatever inhibits them from expressing love in a healthy way. And as an aspiring psychologist, I absolutely don't discount how debilitating and damaging mental illness or trauma can be. I have my fair share of issues, and definitely understand. With that being said, I crawled to the kitchen to care for my pets 4 days after brain surgery. The only thing that stopped me the first 3 days was the fact that I was stuck in the ICU a state away from home.

If anything has motivated me in my life to become better, to do the hard things, to do the scary things, it has been love. The love I had for someone or something else. Here lately I've been learning to do things for the love of myself. I have dragged myself through and out of Hell, for love. Mothers come back from death for their children. Men jump into burning buildings for their families.

So if love isn't enough of a motivator for a person to become better, to grit through the discomfort to become better adjusted, to make a connection happen, then what is?

And in all this, how do we love ourselves?

By bothering to learn ourselves. Taking the time to understand what we need, giving as much of that as possible to ourselves, and not accepting any less from others.

11/23/2025

This video was posted 3 years ago. Let that sink in. (And Bracha is an amazing astrologer)

#2025, #2026, , In 2016, I spoke about the upcoming Pluto / Saturn conjunction in 2020 and how that would be life-changing. https://www.youtube.com...