Liminal Space Counseling

So excited to be an Uplifter with the Emotional Wellness Brigade. I am now offering sessions using the Rapid Transformational Therapy method developed by Marisa Peer. I couldn’t be more excited and I couldn’t have done it without the help of and The Jess Lively Foundation! I’m stoked to be providing complimentary sessions through the foundation to those who qualify in addition to offering paid sessions through Liminal Space.

Regarding the verdict today, this is accountability not justice.
We can exist in the tension of feeling relief that it was a just verdict and feeling grief that this is not a solution, it is not justice in its fullness. This does not hold the system accountable. It simply acknowledges the gut-wrenching truth, that a 9 year old witness knew.
It has been 330 days since George Floyd was murdered.
This does not bring back George Floyd. Keep saying his name and the names of others whose murderers have not been held accountable. Keep taking action. You can take moments of rest, you can keep taking care of yourself, but don’t quit. Rest in power Mr. George Floyd.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2020/09/30/why-therapists-ibram-x-kendi-others-called-debate-triggering/3589329001/?for-guid=a15c8e16-7d30-11ea-9881-0ed66a231b31&itm_source=usatoday-The%20Short%20List&itm_medium=email&itm_campaign=narrative&itm_term=article_body&fbclid=IwAR0iym5FbaAeVGx7AmSCh4FGnkFD8veUvVbdsuVgHjOHJval66mg1koeZG8

I visited the George Floyd memorial. I was touched by the art, words, flowers, and other artifacts to remember George Floyd. This place can never be the same and it is my hope that this city, state, and nation are never the same. I am holding hope of positive change in our future and holding despair & grief that this change was too late for George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Tamir Rice, and too many others. Just like there were flowers that had dried up and died laying along side fresh, living flowers at the memorial, I will remember the lives lost while doing my part in advocating for effective change for those living so that they can flourish. So that this world can be safer for them to continue to grow and blossom.
In this, I will continue my own work of recognizing the ways I as a White passing Latina have knowingly and unknowingly have contributed to and benefited from white supremacy, systemic racism, mircroagressions, and oppression. I invite you to join me in this work and continue to take direct action to change your hearts, neighborhoods, communities, systems, and government.

Being anti-racist is not something you arrive at. You do the work and then you do more work and then there is still more work. You come from a place of cultural humility, knowing you can’t know it all. It is too nuanced. You will make mistakes. You will be criticized. You will not do this perfectly. Your best intentions will not always hold the impact you desired. Your pride will be hurt.

As a white passing Latina, I will be the first to admit I am still doing the work. As a POC who has been in a relationship with a POC for 12+ years, I am still doing the work. As a mother to three beautiful brown children, I am still doing the work. As a introvert who doesn’t like to be the center of attention, I am still doing the work. As a Minnesota born into Minnesota Nice, I am still doing the work.

It is not easy, it is often uncomfortable. There are many times when I process situations later and wish I had spoken up. But I will not give up. I will keep learning. I will keep trying to be a better ally. I will recognize what a privilege it is that my learning isn’t dependent on my survival. That though I have experienced racism firsthand, I have never feared for my life. I do not know what it is like to be Black in America, and that holds great privilege.

This work is big and small. There is a place for everyone in it. If you are a white parent with white kids, don’t wait until you have the perfect speech to talk about this stuff. Do it messy. Don’t have one conversation and call it good. Start somewhere, start now. Because you will blink and your child will be a full grown adult operating on autopilot with generations of implicit bias. There is no such thing as colorblindness when it comes to race. Infants show racial bias toward people of their own race, and children as young as four have pro-white bias regardless of race. They are not too young to talk to.

Look at the children’s books in your home. Do they represent BIPOC? Look at the businesses you support. Look at the friends that surround you, do they only look like you? Look at the schools you send your kids to, the places of worship you attend, the extracurriculars, community events, and ways you socialize. Look at the organizations you give to. There is room for growth. I know I have room to grow.

When (not if) you make a mistake in this work, repair, repair, repair. Don’t let shame overtake you. Don’t go silent or pretend it didn’t happen. Take a deep breath and say I am sorry, I was wrong. Do. 👏🏽 The.👏🏼 Work.👏🏻

Who’s with me in doing the work? Day in, day out, just show up. Start somewhere, start today.

The reason Zoom calls drain your energy

Helpful thoughts on why zoom/videoconferencing may drain you of energy...
"Our minds are together when our bodies feel we're not. That dissonance, which causes people to have conflicting feelings, is exhausting. You cannot relax into the conversation naturally"

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200421-why-zoom-video-chats-are-so-exhausting?ocid=ww.social.link.facebook&fbclid=IwAR1xFryjWI1bJYQSwh13CvVdJ6OdNpt3vSU86tOELxAhcAQJ9GSnqb7fxwA

bbc.com Video chat is helping us stay employed and connected. But what makes it so tiring - and how can we reduce ‘Zoom fatigue’?

From the Strangers podcast page:
“A listener shared this poem, written by a friend of hers, yesterday. Isn't it incredibly beautiful and everything we've been feeling and trying to articulate?

One Day it Stopped

And we looked around,
and we saw ourselves,
and it was so funny, so strange
to recognize, not the selves we had
built, but the ones that were buried
out in the long backyard of our lives,
forgotten, rusted, decomposing,
presumed lost, presumed even
never to have existed,
but there they were, just like the
canal-bottoms in Venice,
waiting for us, never having gone,
never having left,
and the miracle
was being able to see clearly
what was already there.
The miracle was how quickly
the pollution vanished,
and our eyes healed,
and we looked out on a world
that was fresh and different
and we saw that businesswomen
were really poets,
and that scientists were really prophets,
and that we were all vulnerable
and worth protecting,
and that toilet paper
was a kind of false security,
and that all our systems
needed a pause and
a fresh start
and that most of us
were really, very tired.
And we rested,
and our children wondered
what is happening right now?
and we couldn’t answer.
We weren’t supposed to
touch anything
or do any work
or go anywhere,
and it felt that we were
being shown something.
So we stayed at home, and
we mowed the tall grass
and listened to birds
and gave thanks
for the garbage collectors
and the grocery clerks,
and we organized our closets
and made pots of nutritious soup,
and the introverts
turned their cameras on
and taught us
how to make crafts,
and the musicians
picked up their instruments
and walked out
their front doors
and sang in the streets,
and nothing stopped them,
not cars, not fear, and no one
thought they were lunatics,
in fact, we thanked them,
we came outside to listen
standing far apart,
and feeling our interconnection.
We understood
that something so profound
was taking place,
and that if it went on
long enough, the fireflies
would come back
into our yards
and the ladybugs
and the milky way.
The earth herself
was waking up quietly,
or rather, we were,
and we saw that maybe
we didn’t need so much
after all, maybe
in this new world, we’d find
new careers
or they would find us
if we let them,
and we wanted to
stay put and be still and
feel it out
moment by moment.
We didn’t want to touch it
with our clumsy hands
or make plans or
disturb anything,
and so we just watched it
breathing softly
and steadily
like a precious newborn.
And we knew that,
at some point,
it would probably start up again,
which was confusing,
because, yes,
we did need money,
or so we had always believed.
-AAvinash, 3/24/20

The listener shared this poem in the new Strangers Community facebook group I created yesterday. Feel free to join us if you'd like. Hugs, Lea”

Integrative Wellness Counseling LLC - Hanin Harb, MSEd, LPCC, NCC

Focus on the things that we do have control rather than focusing on the things we can’t control can help reduce anxiety and stress.

London Psychological Services

30 Motherhood Moments Perfectly Illustrated By Artist Paula Kuka | DeMilked

https://www.demilked.com/motherhood-comics-paula-kuka/?fbclid=IwAR3NEAE2m_KUl4xxpFpVxfmxADLqEhhxynbf-cqRFhZm71ngw9WHTq0pHiY

demilked.com Every mother has her ups and downs when it comes to parenting. One minute your child might seem like a little angel, calmly sleeping in their crib, while another they may seem like the devil incarnate, throwing tantrums and testing the limits of your patience. And Australian artist Paula Kuka perfec...

London Psychological Services

Remember you don’t see the full story.

Yep.⠀
Common Wild

🎃

Hiring A Postpartum Doula Is A Necessity, Not A Luxury

Thankful to live in a state that is valuing mothers! "Some states have recognized the importance of doula support for both delivery and postpartum. While Minnesota, New York, and Oregon allow Medicaid to provide reimbursements for doula services for low-income families, I have a feeling that many more will follow in the pursuit of a better way to care for mothers, if not paying for maternity leave." https://www.babygaga.com/hiring-postpartum-doula-is-necessity-not-luxury/

babygaga.com Hiring a postpartum doula for yourself is a necessity, not a luxury. Here's why you need one after you have a baby.

Accurate 😁

It feels suspiciously like something one never really figures out... 🤨

(via on Twitter)

Dr. Alexandra Solomon

We talk an awful lot about relationship red flags (signs of danger and toxicity) but not nearly enough about green flags (signs of safety and possibility). When you look at the science, this makes sense. As a species, we have evolved to scan the world around us for risk and danger. Our brains have a negativity bias. Great for our species. Hard on our relationships. As Dr. Rick Hanson says, “our brains are like Teflon for the positive and Velcro for the negative.” That’s why researcher Dr. John Gottman has found that a healthy intimate relationship requires 5 positive interactions to buffer the impact of 1 negative one. Our focus on red flags is understandable, but it keeps us from seeing the full picture.
——-
If you’re starting to feel excited about the possibilities of a new relationship, you might find yourself scanning like heck for red flags because hope can be scary. Hope makes us feel really freaking vulnerable, and some of us have spent a lifetime creating suits of armor that protect us from letting our guard down. You may feel like you’re waging a war inside. There may be:
* a part of you that is optimistic, wanting to lean in and trust.
* a part that is fearful, wanting to look for reasons to run and hide.
I wonder if this list of green flags would help you trust the optimistic part as worthy of your attention. Because of our inherent negativity bias, we need practices that help us move through fear, cultivate positivity, and live with gratitude. I love what has offered us here. It is a lovely checklist of individual attributes that create the foundation for a great relationship! What would you add to this list?
——
I want to give you one caveat as you assess your potential partner on these criteria. Make sure you ALSO ask yourself: To what degree am I also nurturing and embodying these attributes as well? Remember to keep yourself “in the ring” as Brene Brown says. Happy intimate relationships are as much about becoming “the right person” as they are about finding “the right person.”

💕 🧠

This is the world’s first ever magnetic resonance image showing a mother and child’s bond.
The image is of neuroscientist Rebecca Saxe kissing her two month old son.

The child’s brain appears to be smoother and darker. This is because it has significantly less white matter. White matter is comprised of myelin, which is fatty tissue that acts as insulation for the wires that communicate messages inside your brain.

The activations in the image do not refer to the act of kissing but to the organisation of functional activity in infant brains when viewing meaningful images.

Kissing causes a chemical reaction in your brain, including a burst of the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin is often referred to as the ‘love hormone’ because it stirs up feelings of affection and attachment.

Kissing activates the brain’s reward system; releasing dopamine which makes us feel good. It also releases vasopressin which bonds mothers with babies and romantic partners to each other. It also releases serotonin which helps to regulate our mood.

A New Study Reveals How Crying Actually Helps You Deal With Stress

😭release the floodgates, it's good for you!

bustle.com If you've ever attempted to hold back tears, then you know that trying to stop yourself from crying can be more difficult than letting the tears flow. While there can be an unnecessary stigma around crying, new research found that crying is actually…

London Psychological Services

Integrative Wellness Counseling LLC - Hanin Harb, MSEd, LPCC, NCC

How can a therapist help? This is one of the most common questions I get from potential clients or newbies to therapy.

London Psychological Services

London Psychological Services

Vibrant Living, LLC

What therapy looks like. 👌

😂

This checks out. 💯

(via From Blacktop to Dirt Road)

12 Brené Brown Quotes to Kick our Ass into Courage, Self-Worthiness & Vulnerable Imperfection.

elephantjournal.com "Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love."

I’m Embarrassed by My Prenatal Depression. Here’s Why I Talk About It Anyway.

“If you have severe anxiety or depression while you are pregnant, the decision to medicate isn’t a question of risks versus benefits, said Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at the George Washington University School of Medicine. “It’s a risk-risk question, because either side you fall on comes with some risk,” Dr. Lakshmin said. “Untreated depression and anxiety has profound effects on Mom, the baby and the whole family.” ”

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2019/04/30/parenting/prenatal-depression.amp.html

nytimes.com One in five women will have mental health issues during and after pregnancy. Raising awareness matters for getting them the treatment they need.

Toddlers who throw huge temper TANTRUMS are more likely to end up RICH, say top psychologists.

maybe those tantrums aren't so bad... 🤑

practicalparenting.com.au Relief!

Sobermode Shirts

Why You Procrastinate (It Has Nothing to Do With Self-Control)

“Procrastination isn’t a unique character flaw or a mysterious curse on your ability to manage time, but a way of coping with challenging emotions and negative moods induced by certain tasks — boredom, anxiety, insecurity, frustration, resentment, self-doubt and beyond.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/25/smarter-living/why-you-procrastinate-it-has-nothing-to-do-with-self-control.html?fbclid=IwAR2vqW5-6xrTEYev4Czn3cLyC7Ub0Ktz69Z7VraDyFjTZvfScRzpz29sb5g

nytimes.com If procrastination isn’t about laziness, then what is it about?

London Psychological Services

yes! 🙌🏽

FDA approves postpartum depression drug

Amazing! 🙌🏽 “Women who participated in a clinical trial reported results within hours of the treatment.”

https://www.kare11.com/article/news/local/breaking-the-news/fda-approves-postpartum-depression-drug/89-85a0d342-7b97-40cb-ab86-6da642731384

kare11.com One in nine, that is how many women are impacted by postpartum depression. Now, for the first time, the FDA has approved a drug to treat the disorder.

4th Trimester Project

It’s not you, it’s US
“‘I want American moms to stop blaming themselves. I want American mothers to stop thinking that somehow their conflict is their own fault, and that if they tried a little harder, got a new schedule, woke up a little earlier every morning, using the right planner or the right app, that they could somehow figure out the key to managing their stress. That’s just not the case.’”

Dr. Caitlyn Collins: “This is a structural problem. So it requires structural solutions. No individual solution is going to fix this.”

“This is not your fault.”

Fatherhood Is Sacred: Heartwarming Pictures of Indigenous Fathers With Their Children

whitewolfpack.com “The family is the oldest and most important institution in society and is at the heart of the Native American and indigenous cultures.” “...

pretty much spot on