28/06/2025
🌀 Shame doesn’t fade — it spirals.
You’re not alone if you’ve ever felt stuck in these thoughts:
❌ “I’m not enough.”
❌ “It’s my fault.”
❌ “They’ll leave me.”
❌ “I always ruin things.”
When shame goes untreated, it quietly shapes our self-worth and identity, often hiding behind depression, anxiety, dissociation, people-pleasing, or even resistance in therapy. It becomes a lens through which we see ourselves, leading to behaviors that deepen the shame: withdrawal, perfectionism, irritability, or sabotage in relationships.
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Why does shame spiral?
Shame is wired for self-protection. In our neurobiology, it lights up the same circuits as physical pain, triggering the threat system (amygdala) while disconnecting us from logic and self-compassion (prefrontal cortex). This is why shame feels urgent and true, even when it’s not.
In relationships, shame can lead to fear of rejection or abandonment, causing us to hide parts of ourselves to stay “safe.” Our inner critic thrives in shame, whispering that we are unworthy and pushing us to isolate or overperform to prove ourselves.
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How do we stop the shame cycle?
🌱 1. Name it:
Shame thrives in secrecy. Bringing it into the open (“I notice I’m feeling like I’m not enough right now”) reduces its grip.
🧠 2. Understand it:
Shame is a feeling, not a fact. It is your nervous system’s attempt to protect you from perceived rejection or failure.
💬 3. Challenge the inner critic:
Ask: “Is this true? Would I speak to someone I love this way?” Practicing inner compassion disrupts the critic’s power.
🤝 4. Seek safe connection:
Healing shame requires being seen, heard, and accepted in relationships — with trusted friends, family, or a therapist.
🛠️ 5. Practice self-compassion:
You are worthy even when you make mistakes. You are enough, even when you feel you are too much or not enough.
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At Evolve Mental Wellness, we see how shame impacts depression, anxiety, OCD, and relationships every day. We help clients work through the shame cycle using evidence-based therapy and, when needed, medication support, allowing them to build a stable, compassionate relationship with themselves.
✨ You are not your shame. Healing is possible.
If you’re ready to work through shame and build a healthier self-worth, reach out. We’re here to help you evolve.
Go to www.evolvementalwellness.com and complete a new patient inquiry form.