Source Nectar

27/07/2022

The days run together so easily lately.
It’s truly the smallest moments that are the most magical!
Waking up to baby wiggles & sounds, catching smiles and giggles, and deep eye gazes. Eating meals with my beloved, planning out the futures adventures, little projects and self care when baby naps, visualizing my desires being actualized, and moving through the little bumps with as much grace as possible.
It’s easy to get caught up in all the things that I “need” to do or “should” be doing; and you know what?... the most important moments of my day and LIFE are so fleeting and deserve to be cherished.
Each moment is so precious to me now more than it ever has.
The time I get to spend with my loved ones is so wonderFull and always feels so refreshing and expanding. It means so much to me to have beautiful angel soul family as motherhood can feel pretty isolating at times.
Two of my favorite women on the planet and I got to enjoy the solstice in the gorgeous wilderness together a few weeks ago. brought the most beautiful cacao and some sacred to***co and other special elixirs to bless up our hearts and the land. We laughed and planted seeds for things to come. And of course we got to take some cutie photos🌲
I am so grateful🤍

13/06/2022

I prepared [well] for the fourth trimester... and it still rocked me

Energy field and Body SO open, so soft.
b l e e d i n g
pain spirals through me from yoni to crown

aching spine and heavy arms from bearing the weight of my tiny child for hours upon hours, day after day after day.

The same routine becomes tedious and I’m Stuck inside a vortex of repetition pressing against my sanity.

Leaking, sore breasts
squishy belly and stretch marks
Avoid the mirror at all costs. For now...

Tender self touch and womb prayers guide me.

Emotional tidal waves
feeling
so so so alone
my tears and cries merge with my baby’s

Craving touch - I needed so much more...

Craving tribe, play, and Solitude

Relationship turmoil and misunderstanding of the roles. Feeling lost, betrayed, and confused. How did this happen?

Where is my spirit?
She entirely transformed within the birth portal. She’s resting now.

All energy devoted toward baby & anything left over goes to staying patient, loving with myself as I feel SO MUCH
all things in my life change...

So many texts “how are you doing?”
and there’s no way I could possibly answer that question.
So the easiest answer becomes, “I’m doing well, I’m in love”

And this is the Truth.
I stare at Him, in every waking moment.
This beauty and wonder never fading a bit.
His eyes so vast and so new, his tiny face and features that I envisioned about while in the womb now Here before me
more gorgeous and precious than I could have imagined.

You, my little one, have given me the greatest gift.
I am your Mama.
I brought you here to teach me, and you have already taught so much with your sweet sacred innocence and pure light.
I will always be here for you. It’s All for you, it’s All for You.
Every moment that has been hard is entirely worth the bond we share.
Grazing my lips across your silky hair.
Gently pressing my ear to your tiny heartbeat.
Singing to you as you fall asleep on my chest.
Soothing you with my breasts, and
witnessing you grow right before my eyes...

This is a miracle.
And I embrace my changed self
I adore my changed body
I’m here for it All. In Love expanding.

22/04/2022

I am beyond in love with my sun. Aiyah Aum. You are going to have such a beautiful life. You are already SO unbelievably loved by so many. I am honored to have held you, to hold you now, knowing that I got to witness you take your first breaths on Earth, and that I get to witness you breathe and be ALL that you ARE throughout your life Here. You have already changed the world. We are so blessed to have you. Thank you for initiating me as Mother.

22/04/2022

Birth Story Pt 3 Day 3

After about 8-9 hours of laboring in the hospital, I received Pitocin as I was sitting at 7cm of dilation. Soon after I began to feel pushy and requested that I be checked again to see how close I was to being able to do so, “9 1/2” the doc said, holy s**t I was almost there. With her help we got me to a 10 and I began to push my baby down down down and out, watching myself in a mirror, with my divine masculine partner’s encouragement on my right, and my mother’s divine feminine encouragement on my left. So much energy. So much that is left to the moment, held sacred between my family. Moving through the intensity and momentum of these moments was exhilarating, so much gratitude to be Here after 56 hours of being in the birth portal!!! 44 hours at home and 12 post-transfer.
Finally, my sun descended through the “ring of fire” and within two more pushes he was on my chest. THANK GOD[DESS. My human was perfect. I did it. It was ALL worth this moment.

~ Postpartum ~
In the following almost 2 weeks, I have moved through so many layers of emotion, of self, of un attachment and mourning what I desired my birth to be like- full surrender to what IS : being shown again and again by Source that there is always more for me to see, more to feel, more to experience, more to know, more to hold. And entering the beautifully humbling place of Motherhood. Nurturing this tiny little being into the world through my heart and my breasts, through my presence and my pain. I would not trade a single moment. I love you.

22/04/2022

Birth Story Pt 2 Day 2
As dawn broke for the second time, I felt a sense of power and gumption to bring my baby home! My mother had left to get some food for her and Izaya (food felt like the last thing I could put my energy into) and Izaya and I went to work, calling on our baby, and consciously directing my cervix to open. After what felt like little progression, I called upon additional support from an incredible birth supporter and she came over to offer some very grounded support, touch, and deep deep presence. I was no longer conscious... completely being held between worlds, between space and time. I can recall very little during these hours. I was finally able to rest for a bit and my contractions slowed. Although I was grateful for a break, I became very emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually discouraged that progress seemed to be very very minimal.

My knees, knuckles and elbows were raw and bruised from being on the floor in the depths of labor. I began to demand the support of my spiritual companions, and became very animalistic arriving at a point of exhaustion and decimation, full death of who I once was being witnessed. I took a walk outside and peed on the grass pressed myself into Gaia, pleading with her to open me.
More hours passed; I began contemplating a transfer to hospital... thanking my previous self for not being too egoic to write up a birth plan in case transfer was evident. We had mom go print copies if we decided that was the path to take.
I whimpered and screamed through the intensity for the next few hours, doubt creeping in more and more; desperately searching for my baby star seed among the realms, begging them to come to me so I could deliver us home. I searched and searched and could not access him. My mother offered to check my dilation and I gave consent, she felt I was only about 2-3cm. Hearing this was so frustrating I almost broke. It had now been over 40 hours.

We decided to take one more walk and wait an hour before moving forward with transfer. As night grew nearer, and darkness began to consume the day, I was terrified to go into it, feeling like I could not go on. I needed relief. I needed this baby to be safe, to be here.
So we transferred. Luckily the hospital was 4 minutes away, Izaya had called ahead inquiring about their protocols with home birth transfers, and we felt good about this decision. I was choosing this in my full sovereignty.

Upon arriving and after giving them my birth plan, they spoke with us about what they could and could not honor. I was devastated about some things not going to plan, but grateful for what they did honor for us. I frustratingly had to do many of the tests I avoided during my pregnancy, and waited hours before I could receive the
-e p i d u r a l- the dreaded word that once held a very bad taste in my mouth... but as soon as I had received it, I cried of joy, pleasure, and relief. I felt like I had landed again, and was peacefully orgasmically floating. Within 20 minutes or so, my waters broke because my body was finally relaxed enough to release them. I slept through the night surrounded by angels and prayers of meeting my babe so soon...

22/04/2022

Birth Story Pt. 1 Day 1
I was nudged awake with contractions around 4:30 am on April 7th. I told myself I needed to rest as much as possible (it was a late night prior) but I was so excited that I was finally headed into the birth portal, I soon got up and began to prepare myself and my home space for what was to come. Izaya joined me shortly after and we set our birth altar and sacred intentions. We prayed together and opened the space for our baby to make their earthly descent.
We turned on my beautifully soothing birth playlist and took a sweet nap together before things started to pick up.
The waves began to intensify over the following hours, and I entered a very trance-like state of being, spiraling through what felt like the space between Heaven and Earth, and meeting extraordinary psychedelia in the voids of the cosmos. I felt like a fu***ng warrior. Moving through each contraction with breath, voice, song, affirmation, and as much pleasure as I could conjure.
Around 9 hours of laboring I called upon my mother to come and join my partner and I; feeling her support would be paramount as I moved with the rest of the tides of birthing. What a beautiful blessing it was to have her presence, encouragement, and physical and emotional support. Through the day I moved with the ebbs and flows of contractions and drifted further and further out into the ethers.
Time began to stretch very thin as I entered the darkness of the first night. Izaya and my momma were both exhausted from epic space holding and fell into sleep while I continued on through the night with the support of my angels, ancestors, Goddess ascended masters, and Sophia. It was grueling and my body was growing very tired as the contractions consumed me. It seemed that in moments of discouragement, my love would wake up to hold me and keep me in positive mind and heart. I could also sense where he was concerned and felt helpless for me. I am so grateful for his rootedness and endless support.

02/04/2022

I made it to 40 weeks

I thought for sure I’d have my little human in my arms by now, but we are here, and they are cozy and clearly enjoying their time in my womb still.
Grateful for the practice of perhaps the deepest patience of my life, and surrendering to the timing, and the divine wisdom of it all.
I am so excited to be a Mother and so excited for all the ways my life will be rocked and transformed through nurturing the experience of this star angel. The opportunity to see through the eyes of a child again. The purest reflection of wonder and awe 🌟
It has been such a deep honor to hold space for consciousness to create itself inside me, to be the vessel that supports and sustains life. Learning to love myself in so many new ways, and appreciate my being, my body in all its changes and sacrifices.
💋Thank you to everyone who has reached out with love, blessings, support, and wisdom. I would love to continue receiving in this way if anyone feels called to light a birth candle and offer a prayer for us over the coming days - let’s welcome this baby Earthside🤍💫🌎
Huge thank you to for adorning me and capturing some photos of me fully bloomed in pregnancy👑 I felt so beautiful.

31/03/2022

Source Nectar website is officially closing in April🤍 🌎

I will be deep within the post-birth portal with my little human, and cultivating my body and theirs to the highest wellbeing available.

As I have witnessed and cultivated so much within myself, and my womb over the past 9 months, I have felt deep shifts in all areas of my being, and of course my business.

I will be breaking down my platform to dust, to rebrand and recreate in whatever directions and dimensions lay ahead - in full surrender of the “how”.
I feel that so much more is being asked of me as I step into this new initiation of Motherhood, and feel my business and work moving forward will reflect this.

~ I have witnessed a lot of distortion within the spiritual communities at large - adopting the matrix we attempt to transcend, and pasting a filtered version of “high vibrational” manipulation, and in some sense, psychological abuse to create/achieve some desired state of ascension, enlightenment, healing, 5D consciousness, abundance etc, etc, etc 😬
I’m sure that some of my approaches along the way have unconsciously followed some of the popularly taught and streamlined methods within the online coaching industry...but never again will I follow that rhetoric.
{*there ARE incredible coaches & guides out there who are doing fully aligned and conscious work*}

I AM all that Eye Am, Quantum Creatrix : crafted by and from the same fabric of The Creator of All that Is -which means that I am (and YOU ARE) already holding all of the wisdom, achievement, truth, manifestations we seek, Within Ourselves here & Now. There is nothing we need to attain or achieve or Heal to arrive in our full Being. Actually, you are Already, in your wHoliness, a fully Healed being who gets to remember such state as your birthright. Annnd we have everything desired available to us.⚡️

I am choosing the conscious conception of full spectrum, soul aligned, informed, ethical psychological, physiological & spiritual guidance and the space to share wisdom as freely as possible.

My desire is to truly be a beacon and invitation of Remembrance and Liberation as Quantum Creators - everything you ALREADY hold within yourself.
YES use your discernment to invest financially and energetically into others for their time, talent, energy, and wisdom - but know the TRUTH that lives inside you is FREE & ABUNDANTLY AVAILABLE for you to access and grow with ALLWAYS.
📌It will not come through hiring a multi six figure coach, it will not come through sitting in all of the plant medicine ceremonies, it will not come from writing down every piece of information from someone else that resonates with you, it will not come through ANYTHING outside of Yourself-your own Source Nectar, and how you open to, integrate, and embody That.

🤍🖤
Im not sure where my business is going exactly, but it gets to be so FULL and so Prosperous, and dripping in LOVE, TRUTH, Reciprocity, and so much more.

I hope to see you all on the other side in co-creation of ALL of our Highest-Self timelines!
All of my love and IMMENSE GRATITUDE for all of my clients and the support I have received over the past several years from all of You💫👑

14/02/2022

Today seems like a good excuse to share a juicy throwback 🪐
“Chin lifts to meet with your perfect lips. 
tongue gently grazing the outline of your jaw 
body tenses as I deliver breaths of fire into your ear. 
Slowly
this dance of flesh on flesh
Taking us to that higher space. 
Melting into you fully,
opened 
surrendered 
Your mouth explores my neck, breasts-collarbones sending hot waves of goosebumps over my skin like rolling desert dunes
you whisper loves frequencies all the way down...”

a little excerpt from a piece called
:Sacral Nova:

(full version can be found on patreon if you’re into it)

12/12/2021

I’m officially way larger than when these were taken but I have to share them with you because they are so beautifully captured of our love for each other and this growing little one🤍 -thank you forever
•Some writing if you care to read•••

Each day that passes, my belly grows.
My “normal” body is unrecognizable now as the form of Mother takes over my vessel.
The revolution of true sovereignty is passionately lit in me now more than ever.
In over just a few decades we have been desensitized to Trust and Connection with the wisdom of our bodies. This rite of passage | sacred initiation of birthing is EVERYTHING- not just carrying and delivering through physical childbirth, but in EVERY form of creation we birth into this life.
“What is natural has become counter cultural. What is necessity is now considered luxury. What is luxury is considered necessity. What is instinctual is foreign. What should be innate has to be relearned. We’ve begun to believe that technology is more trustworthy and reliable than nature. We have become accustomed to a level of convenience that makes any discomfort seem abnormal. We are being conditioned to field huge amounts of input and stimuli that make the pace of nature seem painfully slow. We are used to having what we want the moment we want it.”
-a breath for that-
This process of Trusting... trusting life, mySelf, my body, my baby has been extremely difficult some days...when all I want are the answers to what is happening inside that wHoly space of Unknowing : my unseen womb. Working through my fears and releasing control has never been so important to me.
I AM RECLAIMING MY TRUE WISDOM AND POWER.
Pulling it up from my ancestral blueprints. Reaching through ethers, merging myself with all women who have birthed and been birthed throughout all time.
I connect to this inherent truth through my womb to awaken my shamanic feminine birth wisdom.
This is the next evolutionary leap in human development.
{I} am clearing the way for the children of the New Earth to once again be born into this planet.
Threading myself and my child back into the cosmic womb web of life and the womb grid of Gaia.
And so It IS.

07/11/2021

On the path of Maiden to Mother
————————————
Beginning to physically feel the stir and momentum of another life inside me.

Daily conversations that resemble the talks I have with my higher self. Merging vast consciousness with my own, wondering how I must have spoken through my own mother’s womb...
My body is changing so rapidly - It’s not just me anymore, ever.

I could not be more willing and filled with gratitude that I was chosen to hold and nourish this seed.
To prepare myself for a life outside of me...talk about responsibility, the highest integrity, truly.

Feeling Full. Approaching the halfway of maternity.
Settling into newness and nesting - surrounded by my blood family, my mother and my mothers mother. Connecting, unwinding, unraveling the points of experience, trauma, pain - so my baby may not have to do the same. This is the deepest work and surrender I’ve ever done. I bow to myself.
Thanks again for these photos captured so perfectly 🤍

22/10/2021

I’ve been so excited to share with you all that we are having a baby baby BABY!!!
What a beautiful and heart expansive journey this has been so far.

Being in communion with this little star seed IS the most miraculous opening of my being.
Listening and trusting my nurturing womb -as I’ve practiced- to hold the essence of boundless truth, safety, warmth, & l o v e
as consciousness creates itself through me...
A miracle to witness, feel, and be come
Harmony

I Am incredibly grateful for my partnership with this man who has co-created with me for a whole 7 years now. What a divine journey of learning, growing, playing, contracting, expanding, and loving.
Every seven years our DNA re creates itself; so I am in awe (and also not surprised at all) that this life cycle we’ve shared is ending and beginning with the highest expression of sacred masculine and divine feminine Union -
LIFE creation.
The reality of this feels quite simple, biological, and yet there is not a single molecule of my being that feels that is it....
the interconnected webs of All life ever lived :: infinitely operating :: every human body throughout Earth’s cosmically intelligent timeline working through ME - gifting me the innate knowledge and keys of this divine initiation.
Baby tells me : “I am coming here to be in service to humanity Healed.
I am choosing Now, because I know it is my time. I trust that you and Dad are going to be the ones to love me the best while I’m here, and I’m so grateful that you’ve been doing the work to give me a beautiful sacred womb, home, and experience of life on Earth.
I am not only coming here to fulfill my own purpose and mission, but to remind You of the power and purpose of Yours too.”
Woah
Huge shoutout and blessing of gratitude & love to my dear soul sister
for these gorgeous photos!! 🤍

Love you Allll so deeply.
I’m excited to share more with you along the way🍁🍂

09/09/2021

24/08/2021

Liberation is moment to moment Devotion to Your true Nature🐆

it’s about unlocking the doors of unknown mystery, magic, and manifestation which have been encoded into your body, and spirit throughout your whole epigenetic line, your cosmic makeup star seed.
^Your Liberation Is Here^
Nobody can make this clear for you, It is Your sovereign free will choice to be O P E N to receive :: to listen :: to real{eyes} nature happening within and around you.
To be “free” is not another mask to dress ourselves up in every day, but rather a stripping of every mask that we wear consciously & unconsciously.
The ones that you have chosen to put on whether to hide, small, or protect yourself...the ones that have been forced onto you by society, religion, family, peers, culture, and so on.

🪞my loves🪞
it’s time to gently and lovingly
re-move
re-member &
re-turn to what has AllWays been You :: Sacred, Natural, Primal, True.
What does this mean for YOU?

I am honored and SO excited to have
🕊Feminine Liberation🕊 {round2} OPEN

✨This 8 week intensive LIVE program is a living oracle and guide to your personal freedom✨
Activated when you meet it with your raw presence and
d e v o t i o n
🌹inside you get to receive sacred embodied practices, potent prompts, and personal guidance
🌹weekly LIVE transmissions in a container of divine feminine LOVE
🌹a two hour 1:1 deep dive session with me
🌹and the space to Meet and
Be With Yourself like you’ve never experienced🌹
Liberated Goddess. BE. Free.
from all that is keeping you from bringing the reality forward that wants to be LIVED! 🦋
THIS IS YOUR TIME

Your Sacred, Wild, ALIVE Feminine is calling to be liberated ::: are you ready to answer her call?

Inviting You IN to our Liberation Initiation on September 22nd

🖤click the link in my bio to apply🐆
xoxo T'Kayah Bell

20/08/2021

“What is here for you in this moment?”

Lately I’ve gotten to take a reallllllly detailed look at what is present for me, and how I get to move with it through my sovereignty- that is, my ability to choose in my divine free will.
A deep processing of multidimensional feelings : witnessing this pattern of direction, choice, soveReign being as a part of my life experience since I chose to incarnate on this planet.
This awareness has felt SO empowering because I know that I am loved, supported, and held wherever I go, whatever I choose, and whatever it may look like. AllWays.

I am so in love with every small moment. I am in love with every emotion; every thought, every feeling that passes through my human experience, my being.
We are all HERE, what does that mean to you?
Take the smallest treasures allllll the way in to the senses and BELong : really feel, imagine your body lengthening in this present space. What does it feel like... to belong Here?
🪞
Photo by ⛰

18/08/2021

:: EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT ::
share with your lovers, sisters, mothers, friends!!

*sign up will be open until September 10th*

So excited for round 2 of ✨Feminine Liberation✨🪞🕊
So many new juicy codes, practices, and portals of aliveness and wisdom coming through in this space.
I Can’t wait to play and LIBERATE myself with you all!!!!!!!

APPLICATION LINK:::
https://kayahbell30.typeform.com/to/Q6ueKTUx?ltclid=4ba7fb89-d6e9-4b20-b5fa-a0b01714e1ae

06/08/2021

Our bodies are constantly shifting and changing as we shift and change in our lives.

This body has held me through so much.

I used to hate her, you know.

For years I would disrespect her,
Look at her as less than, or too much.
Always trying to find control over my life through my physical appearance.

My body weight and shape can fluctuate up to 20 lbs during different phases of my cycle, and sometimes that judgmental and controlling voice still comes in and tries to make me feel shame
or
the need to fix or change...

but I’m reminded all the time to l o v e my precious body for exactly how she shows up.

The most important thing I’ve learned, is to LISTEN to her compassionately and with total and unconditional self love

When I nurture her with what she’s asking for, rather than what I ‘think’ I need,
I feel GOOD. I feel HEALTHY. I feel JOY.
Whatever beauty standards the world convinces you are “better” or more beautiful, or even more “healthy” are NOT.
Listening instead to what feels right in your body, what makes you feel alive, happy, and energized and supported is the 🔑
HEALTH means different things for everyBODY, and the only way to know what that looks like is to truly listen, and love yourself and view your body as a beautiful temple space.
You deserve to feel amazing in your vessel. Start prioritizing THAT, instead of what you see on the outside. You are LOVE.
*absolutely loving my lil tummy rolls in the last one*🥳..beautiful embodied photos by I love you🤍