08/07/2025
I first came across inner child work about five years ago. I met it with skepticism. Why dig up years and experiences long past? What good could come from revisiting them?
Some of it was pride, a hard shell of machismo and imbalanced masculine energy. Relating to myself this way felt soft, weak, even silly. And let’s be honest, plenty of inner child practices out there are more infantilizing than empowering, more victimhood than creator consciousness. It’s no wonder I turned away.
This year, my relationship with masculinity came under review. Not my manhood or my identity, but the deeper question: How do I want to show up as a man, a husband, a brother, a father?
To my surprise, my inner child has been one of my greatest teachers.
It’s humbling to admit that a scared little boy has been sitting on the throne in parts of my life. His reign is cautious and protective, always scanning for danger. He rules through appeasement, trying to please everyone so no one withdraws their love. He retreats into invisibility at the first sign of conflict. This is the boy-king, adept at survival, but unable to bless, protect, or create.
The true King cannot rise while the boy holds the crown. The Warrior cannot stand firm in defense of what matters. The Magician cannot bring clarity and vision. The Lover cannot open fully to life.
The little boy turns his wife into his mother, his family into his persecutors, and conflict into the familiar battlefield where his old wounds are fought again and again. He does not rule with autonomy, clarity, or love. He rules with fear.
So the work continues. Not as self-indulgent circling, but as an embodied initiation, dethroning the frightened boy and inviting the King to reign, flanked by the Warrior’s courage, the Magician’s wisdom, and the Lover’s open heart.