08/19/2020
Parents' Guide to Distance Learning
Since the coronavirus pandemic started upending our lives back in many months ago, parents across the country have faced major challenges at work and at home. It’s already hard enough trying to balance working from home and taking care of a household. So, schools utilizing distance learning just adds an additional challenge and has changed how we view and experience education indefinitely and it might leave you feeling anxious and afraid.
What is one of the best things to do when feeling overwhelmed or anxious? Get prepared.
The “nuts and bolts”
• The first thing you can do is set your expectations. If distance learning is new for your family there will be a period of adaption required. For most, this is uncharted territory and like all things pertaining to parenting, there is no guidebook. Set expectations for your children too, but be flexible as your family navigates through the new normal. Children thrive with structure and certainty. Talk to them about the types of activities they will engage in, how they will communicate with their teachers and classmates, what their behavior expectations looks like (cyberbullying and harassment are real) and what their schedule will be.
• Create and then stick to a schedule. A schedule that works may take a while to figure out but once you do, stick to it. Perhaps you use a kitchen timer to create focused time blocks or you break the day into chunks around snacks, meals and recess (yes recess should occur too) but together, as a family, create something that works for everyone. Doing this as a family also allows little ones to have some “buy-in” because they helped create the schedule). Make sure to build in time at the beginning and end of day to check-in. If you previously packed school lunches the night before, continue this practice and if you used to drop your child or children off at school, the bus stop, etc., you can still use this time to plan a walk or activity with your child.
Ideas for a morning check-in:
• What classes/subject do you have today?
• Do you have any assessments that are due today?
• What resources do you need?
• What can I do to help?
Ideas for an end of the day check-in:
• How far did you get in your learning tasks today?
• What did you discover? What was hard?
• What could we do to make tomorrow better?
• Gather your material to make sure you have what you need to be successful during distance learning. This can include, if able, a dedicated space for learning that has all the essentials: pencils, paper, computer access and art supplies. How is your Wi-Fi connection? Some carriers are offering reduced Wi-Fi services right now; check with your carrier to see if they can reduce your monthly bill. Many cell phone and internet providers offer state employee discounts.
• If you are able to create a dedicated space for learning, allow not easy, try to create an environment conducive to success. For example, if children are too isolated they might get lonely. One solution for this would be to schedule time to step away from their workspace and check in with other family members. If their school space is noisy or filled with lots of distractions this might be hard too. Work together and get creative with space. Use your child’s strengths and gifts and build backward from them as much as possible.
• Once your general schedule is set, create a daily plan. A schedule is great for structure; a plan lets children learn how to prioritize, focus and feel accomplished when the day is done. Plan your work and then work your plan. In addition, make sure part of the plan covers reflecting on what they have accomplished, communicating with their teacher and thinking about the days to come. Depending on your work hours, both the plan and schedule can be discussed in the morning or at night. Use a marker board or large poster board so you can draw out the plan together and hang it somewhere you child can easily view it. Remember it is ok to wait and reflect on the day with your child when your workday is done as well.
The big stuff
• You are not expected to take the place of your children’s schoolteacher or become content matter experts and you should not try. Instead, encourage your child to stay engaged and critically think. Provide support and guidance, and expect your children to do their part. Some struggling is allowed and expected.
• Keep in mind they are still children. This one can be hard but keep in mind when there is so much pressure (on everyone) to complete the schoolwork sometimes it can be too much. If you prescribe to the belief that the assignments should serve the child rather than the child serve the assignments–or that this is at least partly true–then don’t over-emphasize ‘getting everything done’ over the well-being (not to mention creative genius and curiosity and intrinsic motivation) of your child.
• Identify any barriers getting in the way of learning. Examine why your child might be struggling: Is it focus? Motivation? Too much or too little structure? Anxiety? Do they need a hug? The world is different now and the bulk of their life, their school, changed dramatically. Do not be afraid to have an open, honest conversation with your children/teens and encourage them to ask questions and don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know”. Sometimes just this discussion can remove barriers and calm fears and anxiety.
• During distance learning you are likely to hear, “I don’t understand or I don’t get it” on more than one occasion. The first step is to identify exactly what ‘it’ is and this is not always easy. Most children do not know what they don’t know. Get on their level, use language they understand and start from the beginning. By asking open-ended questions you can, together, find the underlying cause of what they don’t understand.
• Establish and maintain dialogue with the school. Ask questions, share what is working and what is not working.
• Reach out- you are not alone in this. Build a distance learning community of people whom you trust or are in similar circumstances. Encourage your family, especially teens, to maintain contact with their friends through FaceTime or Zoom apps. Like most adults, kids, especially teens, feel less isolated when they can stay in contact with those in their social circle. Remember that distance learning at home and learning at school will not look the same — and that is okay. Daily family life promotes organic learning; play a board game (did you know board games promote academic and social-emotional skills?), read a book together and ask thoughtful questions throughout. Simply having conversations with your children about their thoughts, fears, and hopes tap into multiple brain structures and connectivity.
• The hours at work may influence family time so still embrace the moments you have with your child/children and make the most of them. The age old saying, “The days are long but the years are short” is a great reminder here. Concentrate on the experiences and time you can spend with your children. Those can hold so much more weight and value for them than the academic things.
Don’t forget about yourself
• Take good care of yourself- You can’t keep your family healthy unless you yourself are healthy. Continue to engage in normal self-care routines (exercise, healthy eating etc.) to keep you energized and your immune response strong. And don’t forget to show some self-compassion. Remind yourself of all the challenges you have faced and overcome. Be kind to yourself and be patient with yourself. These are challenging times for everybody and you are not alone.
• Breathe!
Your plate was full already so remember to take time to breathe and remind yourself of how much you have already successfully handled in life!
AND
You Don’t Have to Be Perfect: Do the best you can for your children with the time and resources you have and that will be enough.
• Parental guilt might already have been present before this, try not to let it magnify. Guilt begets guilt, so feeling frustrated, overwhelmed or anxious might lead you to feel guiltier about being frustrated, overwhelmed or anxious…
Guilt is normal and expected, simply acknowledging that is a good place to start. Feeling frustrated, overwhelmed or anxious is also expected. Try letting go of what you cannot control and being ok with what is not perfect. Nobody’s perfect. Not you, and not your child or children. And that is OK.
Also, let go of what you “should” be doing. Try eliminating the word “should” from your self-talk. Instead, set realistic expectations of yourself and your family and know that during a pandemic and distance learning it is ok to change those expectations to meet your family’s current needs.
Remember, your involvement has always been essential to student learning and success. We will get through this. The coming days may be difficult, unpleasant and sometimes maddening but we are up to the challenge. Children too are very resilient. Stay positive, stay connected, and take a deep breath.
You got this.
Here is a list of free educational resources that can help:
Khan Academy
https://www.khanacademy.org/
Created by experts, Khan Academy’s library of trusted, standards-aligned practice and lessons covers math K-12 through early college, grammar, science, history, AP®, SAT®, and more. It’s all free for learners and teachers.
Smithsonian learning lab
https://learninglab.si.edu/
The Smithsonian Learning Lab puts the treasures of the world's largest museum, education, and research complex within reach. The Lab is a free, interactive platform for discovering millions of authentic digital resources, creating content with online tools, and sharing in the Smithsonian's expansive community of knowledge and learning.
GoNoodle
https://www.gonoodle.com/
GoNoodle is a free app and website with tons of active games and videos designed to manage kids' energy levels. GoNoodle was initially created for classrooms, but kids love it so much they also want to do it at home. One of its main advantages is the wide variety of activities available, from Zumba exercise videos to Wii-like sports games and mindfulness videos. These features are available free of charge. An upgraded version called GoNoodle Plus enables teachers to create interactive games aligned with Common Core Standards in a variety of disciplines.
Storyline
https://www.storylineonline.net/
Storyline is an award-winning children's literacy website that features famous people reading beloved children's books. Think James Earl Jones reading "To Be a Drum," by Evelyn Coleman; or Audrey Penn's "The Kissing Hand," read by Barbara Bain. Children can listen to the story, follow the words, and enjoy the colorful animations.
Starfall
https://www.starfall.com/h/
Starfall is a free educational resource for Pre-K through 3rd grade. Launched in 2002, Starfall offers an extensive library of interactive online reading and math activities, plus a Parent-Teacher Center with printable lesson plans and worksheets. Starfall is also available as an app for smartphone and tablet users.
