04/28/2025
Every time I wear this exact outfit, I think of a family I served about three years ago.
A man called the funeral home asking if we could do a church and burial service within a week. His mom had a pre-need elsewhere, but they had a 3-week wait. We had availability on our calendar, so I said yes and got to work.
From the moment he walked in, something felt off. He was frantic, pushy, and I felt uncomfortable being alone with him. Still, I moved forward with the arrangements.
During the meeting, he stared at my chest and commented that I was “very pretty to be a funeral director.”
When it came time to pay, his card declined. Not unusual—but he insisted I stay while he called the bank on speaker. “I’m good for the money,” he said. “I’m very rich.”
Once the payment cleared, I left the room. Later, I watched the security footage—you can literally see me backing away from him every time he stepped closer.
The day before the service, a family friend came in five minutes before closing, demanding to see the body. The person hadn’t been embalmed and they were still in the cooler to be casketed the next morning. We didn’t have the staff to meet that request, and she left angry.
Not long after, he called my supervisor and said I was “unprofessional,” “inappropriate,” and “dressed like a ho**er” during our arrangement meeting. He demanded a refund and that I not attend the service.
I truly believe that was his goal from the beginning: to create an issue to avoid paying.
This outfit is not inappropriate. It’s not unprofessional. It does not make me look like a ho**er but I still think of his words even all these years later.
It’s just unfortunate that as women, your appearance can be used against you—no matter how qualified, kind, or capable you are.