First Steps Divorce

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San Diego, CA
First Steps Divorce

From Your First Steps to Your Next. with No Regrets. Divorce Coaching, Mediation, Co-Parenting.

Schedule a FREE 30 minute consultation https://calendly.com/kellymyers-yda/30-minute-discovery

08/27/2024

Your happiness and well-being matter above all else. 🌿 Whether you are happily married or have been contemplating a change, remember that you have the right to choose what is best for you. is a deeply personal decision, and your feelings and needs deserve to be honored. As your , I am here to support you through the process, provide guidance, and help you navigate the emotional rollercoaster that often comes with this journey. You are not alone, and your path to healing and empowerment starts with prioritizing yourself. Reach out to me for a safe space to sort through your thoughts and emotions. 💖🌟

08/19/2024

Remember, walking away from someone who cannot meet your needs is one of the bravest things you can do. You deserve to be with someone who respects, values, and uplifts you. Making the decision to part ways is never easy, but it’s a powerful act of self-love and self-respect. As a , I’m here to support you through this challenging time and help you navigate the difficult decisions ahead. You are not alone, and you deserve to create a life that brings you joy and fulfillment. Let’s embark on this journey of healing and growth together. 💖

08/07/2024

🔑 Survival Guide: 5 Tips to Keep Your Sanity and Your Ex Alive 🥺

Divorce is never easy, but it doesn’t have to be a battlefield. As a , I’ve seen firsthand the toll it can take on families. Here are 5 key tips to help you navigate the process without wanting to throttle your ex:

1️⃣ Make it about the kids: Remember, your children are the priority. Keep their best interests at the forefront and strive to co-parent peacefully for their sake.

2️⃣ Use email for documentation: Communication can be a minefield during divorce. Keep a paper trail by using email for important discussions to avoid misunderstandings and potential conflicts.

3️⃣ Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with your ex to maintain a healthy distance and minimize unnecessary drama. Respect each other’s space and privacy to create a more peaceful co-parenting dynamic.

4️⃣ is your friend: Embrace mediation as a powerful tool for resolving conflicts peacefully. A neutral third party can help facilitate productive discussions and find mutually beneficial solutions, saving you time, money, and stress.

5️⃣ Practice self-care: Divorce can be emotionally draining. Take care of yourself by prioritizing self-care practices such as therapy, exercise, and spending time with supportive friends and family.

Remember, you have the power to navigate divorce with grace and dignity. By focusing on the well-being of your children, utilizing communication tools like email, setting boundaries, and embracing mediation, you can create a more harmonious post-divorce relationship. Stay strong, stay positive, and remember that brighter days are ahead. 💪🏼💔

07/26/2024

Taking the Next Steps in Your Divorce Journey 👣

Navigating through a can feel like an overwhelming and stressful process, but remember that you’re not alone.

As a , I’m here to guide you each step of the way, providing you with the support and tools you need to move forward with confidence and peace of mind.

🌟 Step 1: Making the Decision - The first step in the divorce process is making the decision to move forward. It’s a big step, but remember that your well-being and happiness are worth prioritizing.

🌟 Step 2: Filing the Proper Paperwork - Once you’ve made the decision to divorce, the next step is to ensure that you have all the necessary paperwork filed correctly. I can help you navigate and refer to appropriate legal support to ensure that everything is in order.

🌟 Step 3: Hiring the Right - Choosing the right divorce coach can make a world of difference in your journey. With the right support and guidance, you can navigate through the emotional challenges and complexities with ease.

🌟 Step 4: Relax and Trust the Process - After taking the necessary steps, it’s time to relax and trust that you’ve made the right decisions. Remember that this is a process, and it’s okay to take a moment to breathe and care for yourself during this time of transition.

You have the support you need to navigate through this challenging time. Trust in yourself, trust in the process, and know that brighter days are ahead. I’m here for you every step of the way. 💛 ”

07/17/2024

💔 and are tough enough, but have you ever stopped to think about what happens when your children turn 18? Who will be responsible for paying for their college tuition, unexpected expenses like car repairs, or even rent for your adult child? These are crucial questions that often get overlooked in coparenting plans. 🤔

It’s important to have open and honest discussions with your about these future financial responsibilities. Planning ahead and having a solid agreement in place can help alleviate stress and ensure that your children’s needs are met as they transition into adulthood. 💡

07/15/2024

Dividing assets during a can be a challenging and emotional process, especially when your ex is avoiding conversations about money. As a , I understand the frustration and stress this situation can bring. Here are some tips on how to handle it:

1. Stay calm and patient: It’s important to remain level-headed and composed, even when your ex is being uncooperative. Emotions can run high during a divorce, but keeping a clear head will help you navigate the situation more effectively.

2. Seek professional help: Consider enlisting the help of a or a divorce financial planner to facilitate discussions about dividing assets. A neutral third party can help keep the conversation focused and productive.

3. Document everything: Keep thorough records of all assets, debts, and financial accounts to ensure transparency and accountability. Having documentation will also be helpful if legal action is necessary.

4. Focus on what’s fair: When dividing assets, focus on what is fair and equitable rather than getting caught up in emotional attachments. Prioritize your financial well-being and long-term stability.

5. Take care of yourself: Divorce can take a toll on your emotional and mental health, so make sure to prioritize self-care during this challenging time. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you navigate the process.

Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. Reach out to a divorce coach or other professionals for guidance and support as you navigate the complexities of dividing assets during a divorce. Stay strong. 💪

07/12/2024

Reminder! One crucial step post- is updating your . Here are three reasons why this is so important:

1️⃣ Ensure your assets go to the right people: Updating your will after a divorce ensures that your assets are distributed according to your current wishes, rather than outdated arrangements that may no longer reflect your relationships.

2️⃣ Protect your children: If you have , updating your will post-divorce can ensure that they are provided for in the way you see fit, and that their guardianship is clearly outlined in case something were to happen to you.

3️⃣ Avoid complications and disputes: By updating your will, you can help prevent confusion, disputes, and potential legal battles among your loved ones after you’re gone. It’s a way to provide clarity and peace of mind for yourself and your family.

Don’t forget to take this important step towards securing your future and ensuring your wishes are carried out. If you need guidance or support during this process, feel free to reach out. 💖

07/11/2024

Hey there, ! 👋 As a and co-parenting , I can tell you it more crucial than ever to maintain a strong connection with your kids during this challenging time. 🌟

Here are some things to keep in mind:

1. Communication is key: Keep the lines of communication open with your children. Listen to their feelings and thoughts, and validate their emotions.

2. Consistency is crucial: Establish a routine and stick to it to provide stability and predictability for your kids, helping them feel secure in either home.

3. Be present and engaged: Keep distractions and phone time to a minimum. Spend quality time with your , whether it’s playing games, going for a walk, or simply having a heart-to-heart conversation. Show them that they are loved and valued. 💕

Remember, even though the family dynamics may have changed, you can still maintain deep, meaningful relationships with your kiddos. 🌺

07/04/2024

💔 Supporting Friends on the Fourth of July

As we celebrate Independence Day with family and friends, let’s take a moment to remember that holidays can be especially tough for those going through a . The Fourth of July is often filled with family memories and traditions, which can stir up feelings of loneliness and sadness for those who are navigating life after divorce.

If you have a friend who is divorced, reach out to them today and check in to see how they’re doing. A simple message or phone call can go a long way in letting them know that they’re not alone and that you’re there to support them.

Happy 4th! -Kelly

🌟💕

07/03/2024

Healing Through Trauma: A ’s Perspective 💔💪

coupled with betrayal can be a traumatic experience, leaving wounds that run deep. But here’s the thing - through trauma, we have the potential to experience incredible personal growth and transformation. 🌱✨

Here are some ways in which trauma can lead to personal growth 👉🏼

07/01/2024

Remember to be there for your friends going through a - lend an ear, offer a shoulder to cry on, and don’t be afraid to help them find humor in the situation. ☕️

Laughter can be a powerful tool in healing and moving forward. Let’s show up for our friends in their time of need and help them navigate this challenging chapter with love and laughter. 💖

”

06/27/2024

Just a quick funny for all you and out there. Have a great day making grilled cheese sandwiches…or not -Kelly 😂😊

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+18582760899

Website

http://firststepsdivorce.com/

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I’m Here to Help

Divorce is a confusing time filled with untraveled paths that often seem dark, scary .... and endless. There are so many questions to answer: “How do I even begin to find an attorney?” “How will my children handle the divorce?” “How will I support two households?” “Will I have to go back to work?” The questions feel infinite and often daunting to answer.

I am a Divorce and Transition Coach and I can help you break down all of your questions into manageable pieces so that you can create clarity out of the chaos of divorce. My goal is to help you work through the confusion, the uncertainty, the hurt and come out the other end with the clarity of knowing who you are and what you want out of this next stage of your life. Some ways I can support you through coaching are:

Emotional Support

Divorce creates a wellspring of emotions that can make it very difficult to think clearly when having to make life changing decisions. Here’s a few ways I can help you during this highly charged time.

Work with you in developing a plan to break the news to your children, family and friends

Assisting in helping you determine what is important to include in your parenting plan

Help you manage your communications with your ex in order to not incite negative emotion and preserve your integrity and dignity.

Assist with finding solutions to minimize the impact of the divorce on your children

Work with you to eliminate unnecessary stress and chaos that adds to the feeling of being overwhelmed

Financial Management Support

Divorce can be very expensive and may change the financial quality of your life which creates additional upheaval in an already stressful situation. I don’t give financial advice, but I can help to bring clarity to your financial picture by helping with the following:

Helping you manage the process of gathering all the necessary financial information prior to and during the divorce process.

Assist you in prioritizing your questions and streamlining communications with your attorney so that time is spent most productively and you are not wasting money on needless billable hours.

Work with you to determine the settlement issues that are most important to you and will support your short and long-term goals.

Personal Well-Being Support

The extreme stress that divorce puts on an individual can have a great impact on your mental and physical health. I believe that taking care of yourself mentally AND physically is important to your overall well-being. Here are some ways I help you in this area:

Assist you in finding ways to manage the physical manifestations of stress

Work with you to avoid leaning on unhealthy “crutches” to get you through the challenging times.

Assist you in creating boundaries when dealing with your ex or soon to be ex-spouse.

Work with you to create effective planning tools to deal with: having to go back to work, having to increase amount of work, have your kids more or less, manage more or less free time, etc.

Other Services I Offer:

Career Assessment and Development

I am a certified YouMap® Career Coach so if you are re-entering the workforce after raising your children or you’ve decided you need a career change, I can help you. With the YouMap® assessment we will uncover your strengths, skills and values to help you understand how your wired and why it matters. This information will allow you to unlock a deeper understanding of yourself which will give you actionable guidance in determining your next career path as well as how to make meaningful contributions in your personal life. Additionally, I will assist you in identifying how to use the knowledge you gain about yourself to better communicate, in your resume and in interviews, what makes you unique and a valuable asset to a potential employer.

Mastermind Groups

As a trained Mastermind Facilitator I bring together small groups of individuals that have common experiences and/or goals and are wanting to achieve success in an area of their lives. Through a combination of brainstorming, education and peer accountability the Mastermind group helps each member set objectives, create a plan and most importantly accomplish their goals. This is done through strong group support and regular accountability mechanisms which help each member to stay motivated in reaching their established goals

MY STORY

In 2011 I made the hardest decision I ever had to make - to tell my husband I wanted a divorce. At that time, we had been married for a little over 11 years and had three beautiful boys ages 6, 8 and 10. I had been unhappy for a long time and as each year passed, I felt like I was losing a little part of myself.

Life felt like it was something to be tolerated rather than something to celebrate. I found myself stepping further and further away from my core values and was lacking the ability to be present with my boys. I was losing my sense of self; I wasn’t able to be the person I wanted to be, and l was unable to find any feeling of hope for the future. I knew I had to make a change.

My divorce wasn’t easy and as long as we have to co-parent together there will always be issues that rise up, stirring up emotions and creating opportunities for strife but I don’t regret my decision to leave. I feel whole again, I found hope.

Now I wake up every day with the lure of possibility. Now I share my life with a man I adore and who makes me feel adored. Now I have the ability to be present with my boys and share in their joy, and sometimes sorrow, with a heart that is completely open to them and not burdened with my own pain. Now I have found my purpose in life and get to help other people do the same.

We all have our stories, this divorce tribe; some similar, some vastly different. Some of us chose to leave and some of us were left. Whatever your circumstance, whatever your story, there is a new path for you, and it is filled with the brightness of hope and possibility.

Contact me for a FREE 30 minute Discovery Coaching Session to get an understanding of your needs and how I can be of help to you. I will get back to you within 24 hours or less.

My Experience and Training

All of my experiences in life led me to want to find a second career that could help people help themselves. Throughout challenging times in my life well-intentioned people would want to give me advice as to how to solve the problem, fix what was broken, change my life, etc. What I realized was that even though many of them had great things to share with me, most of the answers didn’t fit FOR ME. I realized that the only answers that were relevant and true were those that I found within myself. Those were the ones worth putting time and effort behind. Those were the ones worth fighting for.

When I had this “Ah Ha” moment I knew what it was I wanted to do. I wanted to Coach. I wanted to help other people find the answers that they are willing to work at, fight for and believe in.

Having gone through a high test divorce I realized that where I can help people the most is in the area of Divorce and Transition Coaching. I want to give others the support that I didn't have during my divorce. I want to help people find or redefine themselves and discover joy in their days and hope for their future.

Helping people navigate the divorce process and develop coping strategies allows them to more productively deal with their emotions. When emotions are managed people are better able to process the legal and financial information they are presented with, which in turn creates better decision making.

In order to provide my clients with the best support possible I have invested hundreds of hours towards my training. I am also committed to continuing my education in areas that will allow me to offer the most knowledge, support and recommendations to the people I work with. It is important to me that if I can't help you, I have the experience and resources to direct you to a professional that can.

Here are my credentials: