12/14/2023
it’s just a number, right????
not to me. it’s how many days i make a choice to be clear in mind, body and spirit. every day i choose to be in it. every feeling. every word. every thought. it’s every day i chose to be present for myself. it’s every minute of every day that i made myself proud. it’s been a very tough year. no hiding, numbing, running. i sat with all of it.
it wasn’t an every day, week indulgence. i had rules. i had it all figured out. so i thought. it was when i did drink, there was not limit. i would say and do things that i regretted. i would make promises i couldn’t keep. i would become a person people liked. but i didn’t. and i began to forget every morning after. it was dark and scary. it was my dark secret. i showed up for everyone. but I wasn’t showing up for myself. my authentic self. it’s a long journey. i have lots to learn. so much unfolding. but i LOVE every minute because it’s REAL!
my journey began when i turned 40. took almost 2yrs to wake up. my anniversary was my last sip and truthfully i didn’t want it then but i did it for the day. i have learned to celebrate just being alive and to feel all the feels BECAUSE THEY ARE VALID HUMAN RESPONSES TO EVERY DAY LIFE!
Happy 1yr to ME!!!!
