Cynthia Valentine

Some Nerve: Lessons Learned While Becoming Brave, by Patty Chang Anker

😍LOVED this book! Patty shared her experience of how her inhibitions were holding her back and even influencing how her kiddos approached new life experiences!

👏🏼She faces fears around public speaking, driving, and open water, among others, sharing her stories and the stories of others who have faced and moved through the mental/emotional blocks in order to live a life they actually want to live!

🌻The quote about cinnamon rolls had me rolling! I have had many of these experiences... A typically serious incident links with something that *seemingly* has nothing to do with said incident resulting in a smorgasbord of mixed feelings. 😫😞🤪😒I read this sentence and instantly felt the fear, embarrassment, seriousness and underlying intent of just wanting a simple joy or pleasure.... only to have it all go to sideways!

shares how she and others came out of these experiences and learned from them. She used her own innate skills and talents to get the NEW skills to do something different. She also wrote about how others overcame similar fears, phobias and trauma in order to live a more purposeful and full life.

🤗Completely encouraging and lovely read. Her writing is clear, friendly, and completely illuminates these complex feelings that show up for (what I consider) more sensitive people and people who’ve had a life experience where that vulnerable spot needs some beefing up.

Cynthia Valentine updated their address.

Cynthia Valentine updated their address.

Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson

Truly an important book! I was not a great student of history, U.S. or otherwise. So for me, this book filled in a lot of the gaps my basic/uninterested-teen-self didn’t absorb. And, most importantly, provided a clear, clear outline as to how racism and slavery informed the shaping of our country.

Did you know that lower castes in India, the untouchables, believed that Martin Luther King Jr. was their American counterpart? That even in the 60s, when many people still today say racism and equality issues were resolved with the Civil Rights Act, that other countries viewed American behaviors as unfair, unequal and racist? If that factoid about MLK strikes you, and shines even a little light on your beliefs about the horror of classism, castes, and overt racism, I’d encourage you to check out this book. Our “beliefs” about classism and racism can easily become muddled when confronted the with the actual facts of those systems. Facts are clear. Read the facts. Facts are what actually happened.

Absolutely transformative read. I’d encourage anyone who still has difficulty or doesn’t understand to read this. Education, understanding and acceptance can be powerful healers.

✊🏾

Girls Running by Melody Fairchild and Elizabeth Carey
“All you need to strive, thrive, and run your best!”

Full disclosure... 🤗 Elizabeth is my super impressive cousin! This book came out in 2020 and it was an enormous bright spot during our family Zoom calls! To have a published author among us?? During a pandemic!? Brava! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Melody and Elizabeth are ACCOMPLISHED runners and this is an embodiment of their years and years as athletes and coaches.

❓Who is this book for? This book is for young female athletes to use as an informational guide as they embark on and stay involved in their running careers.

🏃🏽‍♀️Tweens and teens would benefit from having this even if it ends up they read only a few chapters. There are some shady sources young people get their info from and having a couple of experts lay out what happens when puberty hits athletics leaves no search history 😉

❓What’s inside? Information on training, workouts, health guidance through puberty, mental health facts, fueling and stories from the coaches themselves 🤗

In TherapyLand (my nickname for the mental health field) I see teens getting stressed, increases in eating disorders, body dysmorphia, anxiety and depression. Athletes are not immune from these struggles. And going to far down any rabbit hole, be it training too hard/training improperly, dieting, or keeping quiet about a physical change, this book can help young people educate themselves, answering those big “is this normal?” questions they often have about what to eat, how to train, and when to seek help.

🏃🏽‍♀️ Teachers, parents, coaches... this is a great resource for your kiddo to have!

Congrats to and for their 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

A valuable resource for tweens, teens and the adults in their lives!

Oof! This book packs a punch!

Reaching Through Resistance: Advanced Psychotherapy Techniques by Allan Abbass, MD

❓What’s this book about? First things first... 🤓 This is not a casual read. This is not a self-help book. This is not a way to “master” this particular therapeutic approach (although it WILL move the needle!)

❓What is it then? This book is part treatment protocol and part deep-end-introduction (if you’re unfamiliar) for therapists practicing ISTDP- Intense Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy. It’s a mouthful 😬


This therapeutic approach mobilizes the unconscious to help clients turn against lifelong self-defeating patterns and empower themselves to approach life the way they always wished.
(This description (barely) scratches the surface!)

To be honest, coming from behavioral models, and having had very little interest in the subconscious prior to this year, I wouldn’t have looked twice at this had I not had first hand experience. Since then, I’ve taken 2 trainings, read 2 books and participated in a handful or consultations (individual and group) on this approach, and I have a LOOOONNGG way to go :)

While I would 100% recommend this approach and this method to therapists and clients alike, I think it’s important that YOU should “get it.” Some people want no understanding of their subconsciously driven actions... some therapists heads spin at the idea that the subconscious pulls a lot of (or any) strings! For me, I have sprinkled ISTDP in with client work, and, sometimes, find myself bouncing back to ACT methods when my newfound skill began faltering. Overwhelmingly, even with sprinkling it in, I have seen substantial shifts made in short amounts of time. I truly think this approach is making me a better therapist.


Alllllll of that said.... I love the f out of ACT and will continue to maintain and build on my understanding and skills 🤗 (🤫even though I’m doing a 3-day Immersion Training for ISTDP this June)

I’d be happy to answer any questions or direct you to someone who can answer 🤗

It’s time!

I am so happy to highlight some non-fiction books for and the 👏🏼👏🏼

While I have an array of diverse authors I read throughout the year, special months and focused reading have a place in bringing our awareness to authors, books and genres we may have had a blind spot to.

Here is some of my (To Be Read) stack


📖 The Racial Healing Handbook by
Anneliese Singh, PhD, LPC
(Published by They have an impressive list of authors if you want some nonfiction reads. I would encourage therapists and other helping professionals to peruse their stacks, one of my favorite places to get professional reading material)
📖Know My Name by Chanel Miller
📖Some Nerve by Patty Chang Anker

Not all nonfiction are textbooks or have you practice exercises/new habits. A lot can be learned from others experiences.
I am excited for Some Nerve by as I’ve heard her talks and she is so encouraging 🤗

Sooo many honorable mentions... I am on a book buying ban this month (it’s been outta control😂) but Mindy Kalings books have been on my TBR list a loooong time.

😉Leave a comment with another non fiction Asian author you’ve read or have been meaning to read 😀 (this will be a list I can save for next month when I can get back to 😂)

⭐️SuperWomen by Dr. Janina Scarlet⭐️

🦹🏻What a fantastic book on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

🦸🏻This is a fiction/self-help/straight forward and welcoming exposure to ACT (pronounced like the word “act”) through story and first person experience.

🦹🏽She uses the power of group dynamics to help the reader identify their origin story (their beginning, the place when things started to or suddenly changed making their life, or aspects of their life, harder to be in) and a whole slew of engaging conversations about readiness to change, skills that help you live with meaning and ways to support yourself and others when life gets hard.

🦸🏼Why should women read this book? One of my favorite things about how Dr. Scarlet laid out this book, and the group of women that are in the “group,” is the full acknowledgement of how diverse our world is. The group is made up of LGTBQ, multiple ethnicities, multiple religious beliefs, and rich backgrounds. The emotional experiences these women share is palpable in Dr Scarlets writing. I really felt like I knew these women, shared in their challenges and shared in their recoveries. I also felt understood and heard... as a group member... in a book. 🤗

🦸🏾‍♀️I loved the use of story and the way the information was presented was memorable; The Shield of Self-Compassion? Yes, please.

🦸‍♀️Issues that were touched on: sexual assault, transphobia, fat phobia, PTSD, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, ableism, racism, sexism... I’m probably missing a couple, but that’s pretty exhaustive 🤓 And I don’t know many women who haven’t had some experience with most of those.

🙃Quick note: the impulsive me ordered this last year when it came out in the UK... so my cover is different than the recently published US edition. 😜

🙃🙃 another quick note: the illustrator of this edition is named Christy Jedigoddess.... so, yeah, frickin cool🔥🔥