The Joyful Parent

02/28/2025

This is the forward progress we need!

07/22/2023

Girlfriends, I got to get something off my chest.

My house is never clean. Like ever. I have friends (with kids) whose houses are spotless. Are they better mothers than me? Nope. Am I a better mother than them? Nope.

I work out every day. I have mom friends who don't exercise. (I mean other than running around like crazy people after their kids). Does that make either of us a better mom? Nope.

I have a friend who gave birth in a pool in her living room. I pushed mine out in a hospital bed after receiving a gift from the epidural fairy. Both of us are good moms.

I drink a beer or glass of wine (sometimes in front of my kids!) on occasion. I'm a good mom. My neighbor and good friend doesn't drink. Also a good mom.

I'm a yeller. I have a good friend who is quiet and extremely patient. I envy her. But we are both good moms.

I have friends who are super organic, chemical free, and dye free. My kids sometimes eat popsicles for breakfast. The cheap kind that are 50 for $2.00. Are either of us better than the other? Nope.

I swear, but not in front of my kids. Are you a bad mom if you do? Hell no.

I'm involved with my kids' school but I don't volunteer and live there every day. Are the moms who volunteer daily any better than those who never do? No. Am I incredibly grateful for the moms who volunteer every day and help the teachers? YES.

Are stay-at-home moms better than working moms? NO.

Are working moms better than stay-at-home moms? NO.

Are married moms better than single moms? NO.

Are you a better mom if you take your kids on exotic vacations? NO.

Can you be a good mom if you the closest thing you get to a vacation is the park? YES.

Can you be a good mom and have a super scheduled summer with lots of planned activities? Yep.

What about if your summer is lazy with no plans? Yep.

Do good moms let their kids watch TV? Yes.

Play video games? Yes.

What about if you say no? Also fine. Your choice. You're the mom. And a good one.

I'm a Christian. My friend and neighbor is Muslim. Another friend practices no religion at all. WE ARE ALL GOOD MOTHERS.

My other friend is gay. Her kids have TWO mothers. They are both good moms.

I breastfed. My kids barely had any formula. Am I better than moms who give their kids formula? NO.

So how about this? Can we all climb down off judgmental mountain for a second? And just support one another? And just say, Hey, motherhood is hard. You're doing a good job. Raising kids can knock the wind out of a person. You got this.

How awesome would that be? Just a thought.

02/21/2022

“It takes a village.”

We have heard these words over and over again and also felt confused and perplexed. Yes, we need a village but what does it look like?

It is my hope to create a village for you.

Connection is an integral part of our relationships; with ourselves, our families, and our friends. But we also crave a connection with our communities at large. Research shows that we are hardwired for reciprocal, deep bonds with more than the people closest to us, deep bonds that nurture trust as well as recognize and honor our inherent value.

We have seen that disruptions to our connection have lasting impacts, but Restoration IS possible.

We often feel rushed, burdened and overwhelmed as we live our lives.

We hear from wise ones, “You just need to stop. You just need to rest.”

Rest comes from the Latin word restore, to remain in one place. We are asked to stop moving and to be more mindful. It feels like a daunting challenge, and yet, at the same time, a necessary one for our survival!

The path to the future exhausts us.

We need to LEARN, again, to slow down, to allow interruptions and intersections in our lives, and to reconnect with a world that doesn’t revolve around achievements, agendas, pressures from society, stress etc…

A world where we can reconnect and simply be.
The landscape of rest represents stillness, solitude, and silence, where we can truly receive through listening and allow life to unfold through us.

So I write this letter to remind you about the benefit of resting, of slowing down, and of feeling. This is not a luxury. It is necessary, it is our lifeline to peace and happiness.

We are enough because life is enough and whole.

As a continued response to the focus groups on mental heath I want to continue this conversation with you and invite you to a zoom session with me on March 8th at 4 pm PST. MARK YOUR CALENDARS!

As a result of my own research and analysis…I have decided to create an online community open to you.

As we build this community together, I want to continue our conversation so we can get a deeper connection, and you can get insights into the community I am creating.

Join me in the zoom conversation and let's discuss how we can grow into the heart-centered beautiful beings that we already are.

I will be sending the zoom link and some other reminders as we come closer to date!

With so much gratitude,
Carol

12/25/2021

Wishing you a joyful holiday season!
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year ✨

12/13/2021

We have room for the LAST focus group that is this Thursday at Thursday, December 16th at 11:00am PST, 1:00pm Central/2:00pm EST!

REGISTER HERE: https://form.jotform.com/carolpassmorecoaching/focusgroups

**The old model of mental health is simply not working. **
That model has dictated treatment of symptoms without understanding what is beneath the behavior and the emotions associated with it. Without that understanding, we just “miss the mark.” This old paradigm is not trickling down into everyday society and people can not heal from traumas.
I believe there is some belief ingrained in us from past conditioning that inhibits healing.

**I am working on the question, “How do I get people to move away from this old paradigm and do different work around mental health?” I want to help people shift their perspectives and move towards healing and wellness. **

Each person has a different experience with mental illness and a path to recovery that is influenced by age, gender, culture, heritage, language, faith, sexual and gender identity, relationship status, life experience, and beliefs.

If a person is blamed for the behavior or labeled as bad or manipulative,i.e” you need fixing”... this is likely to make the situation worse, leading to a downward spiral where the focus is on the person and not the behavior.

**We simply can not approach mental health from such a one-sided, band-aid approach. **

I want to deconstruct and reframe the topic of mental health so we can approach it holistically. A holistic approach provides support that looks at a whole person. This support considers the physical, emotional, social, and spiritual well-being of the individual.

It is important to realize that how you interpret situations will not necessarily mirror the thoughts of the person you are supporting. Listening, asking, and checking in are key skills in holistic treatment. A holistic approach focuses on a person’s wellness and not just their illness or condition.

The mind, body, and soul are all connected and are equally important when it comes to our mental wellbeing. We have been isolating mental health and it is time for us to deconstruct our old way of thinking and reframe the relationship that mental health has with our whole being.

So I invite you to take part in this focus group and contribute to this shift of thinking. I would like to form a small intimate group that can discuss these critical mental health issues and how you see them.

https://form.jotform.com/carolpassmorecoaching/focusgroups
This is very important to my work understanding and shifting the old paradigm of mental health. Let’s move forward together in a collaboration of understanding.

Please click the link to complete this form.

12/01/2021

First Focus Group on Deconstructing and Reframing Mental Health begins tomorrow at 4pm PST!
Would love for you to sign up!

Please click the link to complete this form.