10/16/2025
Today is World Pregnancy Loss Day. I'm thinking of every mama who has lost a baby—to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, ectopic pregnancy, termination for medical reasons, or the death of a newborn.
When I think of my own pregnancies and losses, I carry so many different emotions. I carry the hope, birthdates, what ifs, grief, shame, guilt, names, and a feeling in my pelvis that carries the most weight. At times I feel like it's heavier than my own heart. You know that lump in your throat you got as a child when you did something wrong? I feel that same sensation in my body—it comes and goes, settling in the place that held both life and grief, and a bunch of medical mysteries that are still unfounded to this day.
I remember miscarrying the same day that my lola became an ancestor. I tried to make it a beautiful thing, saying that my lola was with them. And honestly, when I was at my lola's funeral, I couldn't tell the difference of who I was grieving. Was it my lola, my child, or myself?
I share this not for sympathy, but to bring light to the complex emotions that a mother (and partner) can experience. People will say, "this happens to a lot of women" or "better that it happens now than later." Or "don't you just want a healthy baby?" People don't know what to say, and will say what they think may be comforting, but they will never really know the complexities of what is going on for you. The attachments that have been made, or the pain that your body has experienced.
So Dear mama, I see you.
Your grief doesn't need to make sense to anyone else. It doesn't need to follow a timeline or fit into neat categories. Your body didn't fail. You didn't do anything wrong. That weight you feel? That's not weakness. That's love with nowhere to go.
Today, I'm holding space for you and your angel babies. You don't have to be okay. You don't have to find meaning. You can just be here, carrying what you carry.
And mama? You don't have to carry it alone. Not today, not ever.
💔🕊️
