12/02/2025
OMG! This is something I’ve seen so much! Like Dr.Beachgem10 very well explained it’s great to give them options (whenever possible). It is very different from do you want A or B, knowing that the kid needs to have A done no matter what they answer (that’s not even a 50% chance in their favor because it’s usually something that the kid doesn’t want to begin with!). If they have to have something done (like an IV or a shot), think of options where they really have agency to change. More times than not I have been able to reason with children ( even young ones). But few things need to be in place. I think the most important one (probably the hardest), is that the parent needs to understand that THEY need to be calm and (even if they need to take a dose of “fake it until you make it”). Sometimes it requires that a parent take a moment to breathe and collect their thoughts first. The next thing is never, never, never (did I say never?) say that something is not going to hurt if it’s not true, for fear that the kid will cry or lose their…sss …composure. Keeping the kids trusting you is more important that anything, so lying will not make it less painful and will interfere with that sacred relationship of trust.
Being honest upfront and explaining what will happen, that you will be there for them, and that X needs to be done for xyz. It might go like this: “You know that we are here because you haven’t been feeling well. The doctor told us that we need more information to figure out what’s happening and they will be drawing some blood to help them figure it out” ( at that point kid might cry or lose it)… hug them and give them some time to express themselves while telling them that you understand that this is not what the kid wants to be done and neither are you happy to do that, but it is really important that this is done. And it really can help if they practice some deep breathing together before and during the procedure ( also praying helps) and to try telling you about a place where they rather be in great detail.
Then you can ask “Do you want us to color your coloring or play a video game together afterwards?” There are kids that will find it hard to be in a place of reasoning at the moment, but you can always do that after the facts when they are calmed.
Parenting is not easy but can be so much fun and the fun start with us deciding to make it so. 🥰
