09/25/2025
⚠️ Content Warning: This post contains descriptions of physical violence and threats. Please take care while reading.
Incident #1 — July 2020: First Physical Assault
Context:
Both of us were fresh out of divorces. Mine was finalized in Oct 2019, his within the month before this incident. Money was tight, and I had just sold my wedding band from my previous marriage. It was emotional and painful for me, but instead of offering support, he focused on the endless drama with his ex and kids. (Red flag #1: no empathy for what I was going through, only his obsession with his past relationship.)
What happened:
I called him selfish and went to the bedroom, he followed me. He got on top of me, choking me and saying he was going to break my neck.
But I fought back! I hot him off of me, kicked him in the head, and got him in a choke hold. He was saying things like “I’m about to pass out, stop, please I give up.” That moment sticks with me: I stayed clear-headed enough to defend myself, and I refused to let him keep control.
I told him to leave. He refused. I retrieved my firearm and fired one round into the ground as a warning then he left.
Aftermath:
Police were called, and I have the report. He was arrested, spent two days in jail, and then was released on his own recognizance. Whether or not he really had a “judge friend,” as he claimed, the fact remains: he was violent, I defended myself, and the system let him walk.
Pattern note:
This was the first physical assault, and it set the tone for what would become a repeated cycle of violence, deflection, denial, and cruelty. It wasn’t a one-off “fight.” It was an abusive pattern that escalated quickly and I documented as much as I could.
