02/28/2024
Let start by talking about, "The Terrible Too's"!
"You're too _______ (i.e., loud, messy, bossy, talkative...)!"
This is an example of global criticism. You are defining the person by their behavior. Rarely are people "always or never". Global criticism tends to elicit a defensive response.
OR
"When you________(describe single behavior), I/it______(how it affected you)".
This is an example of behavioral criticism. You are letting the person know how the behavior affected you in the moment. Behavioral criticism is much more likely to promote non-defensive responses and change.
Using an example from my life...which one would you prefer as the listener?
"You are too messy and leave things on the floor!"
"When you leave your towel on the floor, I have to tell you to hang it up".
Practice it!
