01/13/2022
This is a reality of having this disease that I honestly don’t have to face very often. Pulling out my retired wrist brace that I haven’t worn in years, getting blood drawn to check inflammation markers, taking NSAIDs (which I usually avoid), and forcing extra rest (like the 2 hour nap I took this evening).
🙏🏽 I feel so incredibly blessed to have built such a deep connection with my mind, body, and soul in order to manage my RA symptoms. I get to do things every day that I could have never dreamed of 5 years ago when I was first diagnosed…
However, there is no cure and there will always be setbacks that come up. And those can really hit hard physically, mentally & emotionally.
I have not dealt with a flare up that has felt this intense or lasted this long in YEARS. I’m going on 2 weeks of this post-Covid flare up. 🥴 To put it into perspective, thanks to my consistent holistic routines & mindset, my flare ups only last 1-3 days on average and are very mild and infrequent compared to my first ever flare ups. I’m usually able to pinpoint the reason (90% of the time, it is due to something I ate or an increase in stress) and then I course-correct to feel better quickly.
This time is different. It just flat out sucks. I’m still my outgoing energetic self, and if you saw me in person you probably wouldn’t know the pain I’m in. But mentally, it has been a struggle.
I WANT to be moving more, pushing fitness limits, be back to climbing…but right now I have to honor where my body is at. That doesn’t mean I’ll stop moving or give up. It just means that there has to be a little adjustment for now because I don’t know how long this flare will last (some of you have said you’ve had post-Covid flare ups for as long as 6 months). And I’m still wrapping my mind around that.
I am leaning on my close friends more than ever right now (thank you all for hearing me out and not making me feel like I’m complaining). I’m needing extra love and support and I’m grateful to have so many amazing people in my corner, both in real life and all of you reaching out in my DM’s and comments. 💖
Also, I have talked about this on my IG story a couple times but I guess this is a good time to mention that I recently started Plaquenil again. It was an extremely hard decision because I worked so hard to wean off a year and a half ago. I got back on in the hopes that it would allow me to continue the fast-paced work life that I truly enjoy and compliment my holistic anti-inflammatory lifestyle. But to be honest, I have experienced some side effects and no notable positive changes to the way that I feel. So I’m feeling quite discouraged…like I was better off without these chemicals in my body and now may have to wean back off.
*Quick side note: Please excuse any typos or grammatical errors. This was a long train of thought and I just let my feeling flow. If you have made it this far, thank you for holding space for me & reading. I really appreciate you.*
I don’t share posts like this as a “woe as me” but rather to remind you that you are not alone. We all have ups and downs with this autoimmune journey.
My journey is not all fun videos, positivity, and smiles. (Okay yes, MOST of it is 😇 I like to find joy!) But sometimes it looks like this photo/long caption…
But through it all, I am ALWAYS grateful. Because although I am in a lot of pain and discomfort and this is very mentally tolling, I am always in awe of the resilience of my body. And I know this will pass eventually. ✨
It would be so nice to be able to put life on hold during a flare up to just focus solely on healing. But that just isn’t an option for most of us in the autoimmune community (gotta pay the bills 💸 ).
So we keep pushing on. Through the pain. Continuing to find joy. Practicing gratitude. Having compassion for ourselves. Embracing our inner strength to keep going. 🌟
Don’t ever forget - you are a warrior. You have the power to change your narrative, even when you’re dealing with really tough s**t.
xx
-Coach Rach