Child neuropsychologist Valentina Paevskaya

Child neuropsychologist Valentina Paevskaya A specialist in early childhood, a practising child psychologist and a neuropsychologist. 16 years of practice.

05/01/2026

For years, the parents did everything themselves, because it was faster, easier, because the child had homework, because the child didn’t want to.

And then one day they realize: this should have been learned a long time ago, but it wasn’t.

By age 10, a child should be able to fully take care of themselves: do their own laundry, iron clothes, prepare simple meals. These are life skills.

What happens when that doesn’t happen?

The child enters adult life, and doesn’t know how to live in it.

A first credit card debt, because they don’t know how to manage a budget.

Instant noodles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, because they don’t know how to cook.

A wrinkled shirt at a job interview, because they don’t know how to iron.

A call to mom for every everyday problem, because they can’t handle it on their own.

Ask yourself: what can your child do around the house right now, completely on their own, without your help and without reminders?

04/29/2026

When choosing a flat mosaic board, pay attention to the shape of the pieces: they should be hexagonal, not round. It’s the hexagonal shape that allows little fingers to form the proper grip.

Sometimes you can simply sort the pieces by color. And a reminder: children under three are not required to know colors yet. At this age, it’s very common for them to mix up a couple of colors. In that case, name the color, but focus on “same”, like “This one is the same.”

Teach your child to play with mosaic peg boards.
This simple little game gives a lot to a child’s motor skills, thinking, and speech development.

04/27/2026

The right hemisphere of the brain, which is responsible for abstract thinking, matures around the age of five.
Before that, a child may technically be able to read, but there are no mental images behind the words — and without images, there is no real understanding of what’s being read.

Reading is not just about speed. It’s about comprehension.
Teaching reading too early can contribute to dysgraphia, dyslexia, and difficulties with reading comprehension.

Before age five, the brain is simply not ready for reading. That’s physiology.

04/25/2026

How to respond when a toddler hits other kids on the playground

Taking your child off the playground right after they hit someone is a very natural reaction.

But this is exactly where an important learning moment is missed: the child doesn’t learn how to stop themselves. To build that skill, a child doesn’t need a lecture, what they need is a clear physical response and a simple sequence.

What to do — step by step:

1. Calmly move your child a few steps away from the child they hurt, so the other child feels safe.

2. If your child is holding something, for example, a shovel they used to hit, take it out of their hands. Young children often keep hitting reflexively if the object stays in their hands.

3. Calmly and without emotion say: “No hitting.”

4. Then walk over to the other child, apologize, and offer a toy as a way to reconnect:
“Let’s play.”

Repeat this sequence every time, so the child begins to remember it and learn to regulate themselves.

04/23/2026

Educational and board games only work when they’re age-appropriate.

If a game is too difficult, the child quickly loses interest or becomes frustrated. If it’s too easy, they get stuck doing the same thing without developing further.

Games your child can already play independently should be at their eye level and easily accessible.
More complex games can be stored higher up and brought out to play together.

This also makes life much easier for you as a parent. When games are organized this way, it’s much easier to see what’s appropriate right now and how much time it will likely take.

04/21/2026

A very important toy from a neurodevelopment perspective for children ages 3+.

• Develops fine motor skills (and therefore supports speech and attention),
• helps improve concentration,
• reduces overstimulation and anxiety,
• trains hand–eye coordination,
• builds an understanding of cause and effect.

It’s also a great way to keep hands busy without screens, in the car, in line, or just throughout the day.

❗️Before giving it to your child, the Orbo ball needs to be “broken in.” For a few days, the parent should use it themselves so the inner balls start moving smoothly.

04/20/2026

With all your efforts, this won’t be “gentle.”
Your child has been used to one sleep routine since birth, and switching to a new one is a form of stress, even if it’s ultimately a positive one.

Independent sleep is about the stability of a child’s nervous system, their ability to handle stress without you, their body boundaries, and self-regulation.

What’s important to understand: the longer you delay, the harder it becomes. At 7, it won’t be easier than at 3.

What works is making a decision once and sticking to it.
Move the bed gradually, and give each step about a week. You can sit next to them, hold the hand, but don’t take them into your bed.

No backtracking. Otherwise, you reset the process.
Every time you give in to crying, you prolong the process, and it doesn’t help your child.

04/18/2026

I’m seeing more and more cases where even at ages 3–4, children can’t take the mouse out and put it back.

But with well-developed fine motor skills, this toy is already something they can handle around 1.8–2 years old.

These “mice” are a great activity for finger strength, fine motor development, spatial thinking, and stimulating speech-related areas of the brain.

If a child has repetitive movements or finds it hard to calm down, let them have this toy in their hands as often as possible. It works as a gentle, natural way to self-regulate.

04/16/2026

It was after this book that the phrase came to me:
“If you don’t know your child’s friends, then your child doesn’t really have any friends.”

The father of my children was never interested in my field, neither psychology in general, nor child development in particular. But this is the one book I insisted he read. I wanted it to be in his hands, and in his mind.

The author captures with striking depth and precision the very things child and family psychologists work with, the same things I see in my own practice.

I highly recommend this book to all parents, both mothers and fathers.
Read it and take a moment to check yourself: your assumptions, your interpretations, and your ability to hear your child.

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

04/15/2026

Almost everyone who really gets into board games says the same thing at some point: “He’s only seven, and I can’t beat him at anything anymore, and honestly, it stops being fun.” And really, who wants to spend four hours of their day off playing a game they’re almost guaranteed to lose?

At one point, I felt exactly the same. I couldn’t beat my own children either. But every time, I still played at full strength. A child needs an opponent who makes them work hard, who pushes them to think at their very limit.

I recommend setting aside time for strategy games already from ages 4–5. Start with checkers, then move on to chess, and after that choose any strategy games that interest you.

Strategy games teach children to think, plan ahead, and calculate risks. And most importantly, they teach them how to lose. Not to fall apart when they lose, but to learn from it and use that experience next time.

04/14/2026

No school prep trains thinking the way strategy games do.

In strategy games, the situation changes every second. That’s exactly how children develop the ability to assess risks, hold multiple scenarios in mind, and make decisions under uncertainty.

There’s another important benefit: in strategy games, children lose. Time after time. But they don’t experience it as failure, because they see it as information. They learn not to suffer from mistakes, but to use them.

And that’s the foundation of self-confidence, when mistakes are not a source of anxiety, but an investment in the next move.

That’s why strategy games should be part of your family routine every week. Like sports and reading.

04/13/2026

Kids these days have lost the ability to wait.
They don’t know how to wait, tolerate, or even truly want something, because everything is already available. Instantly.

Where does motivation come from in someone who has never been denied anything?
Nowhere.

Limits are not cruelty, and they’re not about poverty.
Thoughtful limits teach a child to value, to wait, and to work for things.

◽️ Food. When cookies, chips, or fast food appear once a month — it feels special. The senses stay sharp, the pleasure is real. When it’s every day, it turns into noise — and the taste for real food disappears.

◽️ Toys. When there are hundreds of random toys at home, none of them has value.

◽️ Purchases. Clothes aren’t bought on demand, but on a schedule, once or twice a year. With an understanding of what’s needed and what isn’t.

◽️ Screens and devices. A child who spends three hours a day on a screen spends three hours a day not making a single independent decision. It’s a direct path to immaturity, anxiety, and an inability to deal with real life.

What happens to this child later?

They enter adulthood without the ability to wait for results. Without the ability to handle rejection. Without understanding that effort comes before reward. They don’t know how to appreciate small things, and they burn out quickly in situations that require patience.

Limits are not something you use to punish a child.
They are something you use to protect them.

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