Child neuropsychologist Valentina Paevskaya

Child neuropsychologist Valentina Paevskaya A specialist in early childhood, a practising child psychologist and a neuropsychologist. 16 years of practice.

03/03/2026

Up until about age 5, a child develops primarily through play: pretend scenarios (playing house, construction site, store), toy cars, simple thinking tasks.

But after that, a new stage begins. This is the age of board games and strategy games, where every move has consequences.
And it’s exactly through strategy that a child starts developing faster and more naturally, learning how to lose, how to manage emotions, how to think ahead.

In board games, you constantly count points, and without even noticing, a child begins mastering math. Interest in reading grows. So does understanding rules and analyzing situations.

These games gently teach children to think, plan, and take responsibility for their decisions.

Sometimes it may feel like you’re living on repeat: the same books, the same bedtime routine, the same words before slee...
03/02/2026

Sometimes it may feel like you’re living on repeat: the same books, the same bedtime routine, the same words before sleep.

But it’s exactly this repetition that builds a child’s basic sense of safety.

Predictability is a foundation for a child’s nervous system. When something stays the same day after day, the child absorbs a simple message: the world is stable, I’m okay, the adults are here.

This kind of routine is not a small thing.

In stressful moments, your child will return to that inner feeling: “I have a home. I have stability.”

So if it ever feels like what you’re doing is too simple — it might actually be the most important thing of all.

03/01/2026

“How do you raise a leader? I mean someone who can lead others, keep growing, and change the world around them. My child is 3”

It’s impossible to answer this briefly and fully. The question is huge, and “leadership” is a very multifaceted concept. It includes many personal qualities that develop based on a child’s natural traits: temperament, character, interests, abilities.
But the key things can definitely be highlighted:
Timely separation from parents.
Age-appropriate independence.

Because leadership, first and foremost, is self-confidence. And self-confidence grows from experience: from the feeling of ‘I can do this on my own’

02/28/2026

Tell your children about HIV, sexually transmitted infections, and protection.
This is the foundation of healthy development, especially important when your child enters puberty.

If these topics aren’t discussed at home, children will get information from their peers, and not everything they hear will be accurate.

Punishment teaches the brain to act out of fear.But inner willpower doesn’t develop, a person doesn’t learn to rely on t...
02/27/2026

Punishment teaches the brain to act out of fear.
But inner willpower doesn’t develop, a person doesn’t learn to rely on their own choices and decisions.
And later, you get a capable adult who constantly needs external pressure and control, both at work and in personal life.

Think about yourself: what kind of motivation did your parents use most often?
Positive: do this and you’ll get that?
Or negative: don’t do this and you won’t get that?
And how does that affect your life today?

02/26/2026

At different stages of a child’s life, parents face different worries.

At 18 months I feed them with a spoon so they don’t make a mess.
At 2 I don’t let go of their hand in case they fall.
At 4 I don’t buy a bike, they might get hurt.
At 7 I don’t send them to camp, what if they get bullied.
At 12 I’m afraid to let them take the bus alone.
At 13 no sleepovers at friends’ houses, just in case something happens.

The worries may seem different, but they all come down to the same thing: you’re afraid your child won’t manage without you.

But when a child CAN stand up for themselves, make friends, clean their room, make their own breakfast, ask for help — you KNOW they’ll cope.
And parental anxiety begins to ease.
That’s why it’s so important to give children skills and independence.
Talk to them more.
Discuss possible situations.
Explain what they can and cannot do.
This is what best prepares a child for adult life — and gradually helps parents feel calmer too.

02/16/2026

At some point, your child will inevitably notice that some families live differently: more expensive cars, better clothes, bigger vacations. And they’ll ask: why don’t we live like that?

Here’s one way to explain it.

The way we live is a choice. At some point, every adult makes decisions about their life.

It’s rare for someone to have everything at once: wealth, balance, time, success in every area. More often, we have to make trade-offs and answer some honest questions:

🔺Am I willing to work more and see my family less?
🔺Am I ready to study again or learn a new profession if my current one doesn’t pay enough?
🔺Am I willing to sacrifice comfort and free time to take on more responsibility at work?
🔺Do I have the courage to start my own business?
🔺Or do I choose to earn less but spend more time with my children?

It’s important to acknowledge this openly: the way you live today is the result of your decisions.

And if you tell your child that education matters, it’s worth asking yourself: are you still learning too?

02/14/2026

If a child can’t play independently, they won’t be able to study independently either.

Why?
Because when a child plays on their own, they:
– build a plan of action
– hold a role
– focus their attention
– understand that activities have a beginning and an end.

They learn these skills through play first — and later transfer them to schoolwork.
A child who never learned to play independently often struggles to adjust to learning. They can’t focus on the teacher’s words. They can’t complete homework on their own.

Independent play isn’t just “play and clean up.” It’s a foundation for the child’s future. It shapes a person who fills their life with meaningful interests — not with gadgets 24/7.

02/13/2026

Why is it important to call body parts by their proper names?

First, it helps a child understand body boundaries.
When a child knows the correct names for their ge****ls, they’re clearer about:
– which parts of their body are private,
– that no one may touch them without consent,
– and that they have the right to say “no” to anyone.

Second, this directly affects safety.
If a boundary is violated, the child can describe what happened clearly. No vague phrases or cute nicknames. Clear words help adults immediately grasp the seriousness of the situation.

Third, it shapes how a child relates to their own body.
When we replace real terms with silly or secret words, we unintentionally send the message: “This is shameful.” “We don’t talk about this.”

And later we wonder why a teenager doesn’t come to us with questions about their body, intimacy, or physical changes.
Because from early childhood, the topic was wrapped in awkwardness and silence.

February Tip — grow a living plant with your child.A plant on the windowsill teaches presence and responsibility over ti...
02/12/2026

February Tip — grow a living plant with your child.

A plant on the windowsill teaches presence and responsibility over time. Every day, your child sees the result of their actions: water it — it grows. Forget it — it wilts. A direct connection between action and life.

A plant has its own rhythm. It doesn’t grow on demand. You can’t speed it up, scroll past it, or put it on pause.

And that’s exactly what a child’s nervous system so often lacks today: slowing down, contact with reality, and the experience of process.

02/11/2026

The answer: do not respond at all.

Children tend to repeat the phrases that get an emotional reaction from their parents.
Stop reacting, and over time she’ll stop repeating it.

If you really feel the need to say something, you can calmly respond once in a while:
“You’re in charge of your schoolwork, your games, and your hobbies”.

02/09/2026

Compare these two things said to a child in the same situation: after they cleaned their room:

1. “Oh, good job! You’re such a great mom’s helper”
2. “Thank you for putting the toys away. Now there’s more space in the room, and no one will trip over anything.”

So what’s the difference in how a child hears this? 👇

The first phrase creates dependence on external approval. The child gets used to doing things for praise, not for the result itself.

The second phrase teaches the child to notice the value of their actions instead of waiting to be evaluated.

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