07/11/2025
✨ What I would’ve said as an IBCLC (lactation consultant) vs. what I say now as a PA (physician assistant) … ✨
I recently read ***yet another*** mommy blog post (thier pic said “Fed is NOT best”) about feeding kiddos, and honestly—it sent me into a spiral that ended with me rage-eating coscto chocolate covered almonds while texting a friend, “Was I a terrible mom for giving my kid Ge**er puffs in 2003?”😅
There is SOOOO much information flying around right now. So many opinions. Reels. Handheld 📲 Contradictions to “Do this, not that.”
Social media can be helpful, but lately?
It’s driving me a bit mad.😠
So I’ll just say this plainly:
I’m incredibly grateful that 19 & 22 years ago, when my sons were babies, I didn’t have to sift through this much noise.
Good grief!! How do you tune some of this out ❓
Back then, I relied on instinct, prayerr 🙏 , a few trusted voices🤞🏻, and a whole lot of grace.
If I’d been surrounded by today’s debates, I would’ve constantly questioned whether I was getting it right.
So if you’re feeling that right now— I see you. 👀
And I hope this post feels like a breath of fresh air, not more pressure. 😮💨
Let’s talk about “Fed is Best.”
This phrase was born from a good place, I think 🤔 —a place of deep compassion for parents in survival mode, doing the best they could with the resources they had.
As an IBCLC, I said it often. It was a lifeline to many—a reminder that keeping your baby alive, safe, and nourished IS enough.
And now, as a physician assistant who has walked alongside families through chronic illness, food sensitivities, gut dysfunction, and developmental delays—I’ve come to see there may be limitations in that phrase.
“Fed is best” can offer grace, yes—but it can also shut down deeper conversations that are necessary for long-term health.
It can validate survival mode while unintentionally silencing discussions about nutrition, healing, and thriving. It closes the chat on how can we best support you ?
We can honor both truth and tenderness.
We can extend compassion and accountability. We can care without compromise.
🍼 Breastfeeding vs. Formula-feeding (and what we’re not talking about enough):
Even with years of experience as a lactation consultant, I struggled feeding my own infants.
When my 2nd son was born 19 years ago, he had an awful tongue & lip tie. Breastfeeding was excruciating.
I was cracked, bleeding, and emotionally drained.
I knew something wasn’t right, and I asked for his tongue tie to be clipped—
But back then, that was still a foreign conversation. Providers often brushed it off. There wasn’t widespread understanding or support like there is today.
So, we supplemented with HEB soy-based formula, because at the time that’s what AOL message boards said might be best. 🤷♀️ Through tears. Through guilt. Through survival. I knew what breastmilk offered, I know what I preached to mamas, and I knew I was doing the best I could.
If you’ve walked that road—please hear me:
You didn’t fail.
You fed your baby.
You loved them fiercely.
That’s what matters most. 💛
But here’s what’s also true:
Breastmilk is a living substance. 🥛
It’s not just food—it’s dynamic, intelligent nourishment. It’s God’s design.
It contains antibodies, hormones, enzymes, prebiotics, probiotics, stem cells, and anti-inflammatory compounds that shift moment to moment to meet a baby’s specific needs.
No formula, no matter how advanced, can replicate that.
—-THAT SAID— ::::breathe:::::
formula has come such a long way. 🙌
There is absolutely NO shame in formula feeding.
Today we have such better options:
✨ European formulas with whole milk and minimal additives
✨ Goat milk-based options that are easier to digest
✨ Blends enriched with prebiotics and probiotics to support gut health and development
These innovations matter!!
Let’s celebrate that we now have safer, higher-quality choices for families who need them. 💃🏼 🕺
Let’s move beyond survival and ask—how can we support children to thrive?
Let’s respect that parents truly know what’s best for their children and their unique family dynamic—and what matters most is that they feel surrounded by love, not judgment, and supported every step of the way.
‼️
Let me be blunt:
If you’ve never sat across from a mom who is considering su***de because breastfeeding felt impossible like I have, then you don’t get to make sweeping statements about what’s “best.”
If you’ve never sat with a dad like me who’s about to lose the family car to repossession because they can’t make ends meet without a dual income because mom is at home breast-feeding around the clock, then respectfully, you don’t get to have the final word on what “should” be done in someone else’s home.
If you’ve never cried with a mom like I have—one who’s on Reglan, pumping around the clock, desperate to increase her supply, spending hundreds of dollars on lactation consultants, supplements, and every trick in the book—then you don’t get to hold weight in her conversation or her decision. Because this isn’t just about milk. It’s about emotional survival. It’s about identity, pressure, exhaustion, and often heartbreak. Until you’ve sat in that sacred space with her—tears, cracked ni***es, and all—you don’t get to dictate what “best” looks like for her or her baby.
Real families are making real sacrifices just to survive.
Feeding choices are never made in a vacuum—they’re made in the context of infant needs, maternal health, financial strain, mental health, marital tension, and sheer exhaustion.
So yes, your values matter.
Your opinions are valid.
But they’re NOT universal truth. 🌍
Your opinions ARE rooted in your own experience—and that’s valid. But what worked for you doesn’t work for everyone.
This is bigger than ideals. This is about survival. This is often about saving a mother, an infant, or a family livelihood.
What every parent really needs is not your criticism—
….. It’s your compassion.
‼️
🥑 Starting Solids: Baby-Led Weaning & Alternatives
…. Because the judgment and opinions doesn’t stop when your baby turns six months old….
Introducing solids is more than just checking off a box on the baby tracker.
It’s where the foundations of gut health, taste preferences, immune balance, and nutritional status are laid.
Many are told to start with rice cereal at 4 months, but that’s outdated advice with minimal nutritional value.
Baby-Led Weaning (BLW) is one great option—offering soft, whole foods that babies explore at their own pace. It helps with motor development, food curiosity, and autonomy.
But it’s not the only way.
Some families feel more comfortable starting with purées, and that’s okay too! You can make homemade baby food with simple, nourishing ingredients:
🥑 Mashed avocado
🥕 Pureed sweet potato
🍌 Banana mash
🍳 Soft egg yolk
🥩 Pureed grass-fed meats or liver
Truth be told?
My 1st kid didn’t have McDonald’s chicken nuggets until he was like four years old.
My fourth baby?
Pretty sure she had her first bite of a nugget at six months old. 😂
There’s something to say about just making it work and doing what you need to do to stay sane.
It’s not about picking the “perfect” method.
It’s about offering real food from the start.
Whole, nutrient-dense, iron-rich, simple.
…It is about being in tune with YOUR baby—not an influencer’s curated feed featuring their suspiciously quiet, avocado-loving, probably AI-generated perfect baby who sleeps 12 hours and signs “thank you” at 6 months. 💬😂
🍭 The Hidden Impact of Junk Food, Sugar, Dyes, and Fillers:
What we have done as a society is normalize ultra-processed snacks, pouches full of fruit sugars, and colorful treats for toddlers that are anything but innocent.
⚠️ Artificial dyes like Red 40 and Yellow 5 are linked to hyperactivity and banned in many countries.
⚠️ High-fructose corn syrup, seed oils, and trans fats promote inflammation and alter gut health.
⚠️ Additives and preservatives can disrupt focus, mood, immunity, and sleep.
This isn’t about demonizing birthday cake. 🎂GIVE THEM CAKE!!
Everything in moderation and with thoughtful consideration has its place—because balance, not perfection, is what truly sustains us.
It’s MORE about what our children are eating every single day.
Their brains, guts, and hormones are still developing. And what we feed them literally becomes the material for that development.
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about protecting their baseline.
Choosing nourishment more often. And remembering that we are their example.
🙏 A Gentle Reminder:
God designed our bodies with breathtaking wisdom.
“I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” – Psalm 139:14
Our children were knit together with purpose. Every cell formed by divine design.
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you…?”
– 1 Corinthians 6:19
That applies to them,
….. and to us.
When we care for our bodies with intention—through food, rest, movement, and peace—we model reverence for God’s creation.
Let’s be gentle, grace-filled stewards.
Let’s nourish our little ones with what is good and life-giving.
And let’s nourish ourselves, too—because they are always watching.
🕊️
You don’t have to get it all right.
You just have to keep showing up—
With grace.
With courage.
And maybe a little bit of sarcasm, tears, and coffee in a Yeti mug that hasn’t been microwaved for the third time today. ☕😉
You do you, boo .🐻
You’ve got this. 💪
And God’s got you. 💕
Let’s raise a generation that doesn’t just survive— …. but thrives. 🌿
Anyone else suddenly craving a Taco Bell burrito purely because it reminds you of your childhood and the thrill of a 99¢ dinner after softball practice? 🌯😅 Just me?
Kindly,
PA Nicole
📸 My baby girl’s very first bite of avocado 🥑 — now she’s 14 and still making that face when not pleased with dinner options.
📸 My son turning 1 with his 1st cake— now he’s 22 and towering over me at 6’6”
