04/15/2026
I have a question for you - how do you go about unpacking the (unavoidable) internalized ableism our society instills in us?
Figuring out that I’m autistic came with a lot of feelings. Some expected - relief at finally knowing why I’ve always felt different, grief over all of the things that have been harder because of it, all of the friendships lost, all of the undeserved criticism and accusations.
Something unexpected came up too - I’ve spent a lot of years working to silence my inner bully and speak kindly to myself and give myself grace. It’s been surprising to me how loud that bully has become recently, how much self-loathing has been stirred up. Dr. Price is amazing, and gives such good advice, but he’s so insistent on using the word “disabled” to describe autistic people, and I find it so so triggering! While Dr. Price suggests asking for sensory accommodations, or accepting financial assistance if one can’t work full time, the voice in my head argues “but if everyone else can do it, you should be able to also! What is wrong with you?” And “asking for accommodations will make people think you think you’re special, and you’re not!” And “life is hard for everyone, stop complaining!”
I recognize the ableism in all of these thoughts, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking them. So how do I change it? What has worked for you? God I wish I could afford therapy, because if there was ever a time I needed it, it’s now. But until I’m no longer living on the edge of homelessness, therapy will have to wait, and the social media hivemind will have to suffice. Help me out here, internet!
