07/27/2024
The last year has been filled with so much change.
I cannot point to the exact cause.
Maybe it’s the late 40s. Maybe it’s that I just now figured out this parenting thing doesn’t last so long. Maybe it’s taking care of my body now.
Maybe it’s men’s work.
I want to talk about that last part. What is men’s work? At the most basic level, it is a group of men who gather together without judgment to listen. Our work is not to solve another man’s problems. Our work is to create the container where he is safe to actually explore his feelings.
Men are bottled up in our culture. We allow men to be happy, angry, h***y, and distant. Most men are not in touch with their insecurity, fear, sadness, jealousy, loneliness. We are taught to stuff our emotions. Most of the men that I work with are quite sensitive and have never been allowed to show it.
When so much attention in our media is given to the possibility of becoming anything you want, I wonder if there is still a place to discover what it means to be a man? Have we lost sight of what that means?
The men I know who do their work are strong. Reliable. Honest. Accountable. Capable. Dependable. How do we grow men like this?
Our culture is not in the business of creating men like this. Our culture is constantly providing messages of men and masculinity as limited. We are more than NFL watching, ass-slapping gear heads.
Men can be so tender that the strength of their vulnerability is steel itself. Men can be so steady, like an oak - they are a refuge for so many to take shelter.
I fear we live in a society where men are demonized.
Yes, we have much to repair.
We have been misguided.
We have seen masculinity as conquering and powering over rather than serving, supporting, and connecting.
The masculine energy is deeply connected to the spiritual plane, and it is here where we have so much potential for healing.
We need to reclaim the rights of our grandfathers, holding the sacred, the divine, the great spirit in our heart so that we may shine forward With deep integrity.
I am now taking on the work of coaching men.
If you are interested in having a safe place to explore your feelings, if you want to get better at being a husband and father and friend, if you want to improve at work and feel better, then you are invited.
Cheers, Ryan