Dr. Nate Therapy LLC

08/29/2025

In the days since James Dobson’s passing, another theme has been surfacing in the stories people are bravely sharing: deconstruction.

For so many who grew up under his teachings, faith was not about love or freedom, but about control. His words were echoed in homes, schools, and churches. Obedience was demanded. Doubt was punished. Individuality was often silenced. For "Strong-willed" and LGBTQ+ kids especially, Dobson’s messaging fueled shame that could feel unbearable. For others, his insistence on corporal punishment meant that their earliest experiences of family love were bound up with fear and pain.

Now, as adults, many are pulling at those threads. They are asking: What parts of my faith were ever mine to begin with? Why did I have to believe that fear was holy, or that love came with punishment? Why was silence considered obedience?

This process of deconstruction is not easy. It is both liberating and heartbreaking. Relief comes in finally naming harm for what it was, but also grief in realizing how much of your life was shaped by someone else’s fear. It means reckoning with depression, anxiety, or a deep sense of disconnection. For many, it feels like standing in the ruins of a faith that was supposed to give life, wondering what can possibly be rebuilt.

But, there is also hope. Deconstruction is not just about tearing down. It is about slowly, carefully, and sometimes painfully, choosing what gets to stay and what no longer has power over you. Deconstruction is about discovering that you are allowed to question, to grieve, to feel angry, and to imagine something better.

This is where therapy can become a lifeline. In therapy, you are not asked to rush past the pain or silence your doubts. Instead, you are given space to sit with hard questions, to name the grief, and to recognize how those old messages shaped your sense of self. Together, we work toward healing the parts of you that were told to hide. Therapy offers the possibility of reclaiming your story and writing it in your own words, not in the script someone else imposed.

To those who are untangling the impact of a Dobson-shaped childhood: you are not alone. Your pain is real. Your story matters. And healing is possible.

This moment, this collective sigh of relief so many are experiencing is proof that voices are rising, shame is loosening its grip, and a different kind of love is beginning to emerge. One not rooted in fear, punishment, or control, but in compassion, truth, and freedom.

08/22/2025

With the news of James Dobson’s passing at age 89, something powerful is happening across social media and in private conversations: a collective sigh of relief.

For so many who grew up in the 1980s and 90s under his teachings and Focus on the Family messaging, Dobson’s influence shaped not just parenting styles, but entire childhoods. His advocacy of corporal punishment, rigid obedience, and opposition to LGBTQ+ rights left deep scars. Countless adults now look back and recognize the harm of being told that pain was love, or that their very identity was broken.

Since the announcement of his death, people are sharing stories that are raw, heartbreaking, and honest. Many are naming how his books and broadcasts were quoted while they were being punished, or how his teachings about sexuality fueled shame and fear. These voices are not filled with celebration so much as release. The word that keeps surfacing is relief.

Why relief?

Because his absence symbolizes the loosening of a grip that shaped an entire generation.

Because people who felt silenced now find their stories validated.

Because a chapter of religious control that harmed so many children is finally closing.

The truth is that Dobson’s legacy is complicated, and it will continue to ripple for years. But what’s clear today is that thousands of people are exhaling together, feeling a weight lift, and imagining a different kind of love, one not rooted in fear, punishment, or control.

To anyone who grew up under that shadow: you are not alone. Healing is possible, and communities of compassion are being built in defiance of that legacy.

08/14/2025

Lately, it can seem like family conversations are more like battlegrounds than safe havens.
What used to be lighthearted check-ins or shared traditions now feels tense, guarded, or absent altogether. Political differences don’t just stay in the realm of ideas, they can spill into relationships, creating rifts that are hard to mend.

In this blog post, I look at why political beliefs can feel so personal, how they can lead to family estrangement, and what you can do when the gap feels impossible to close. We’ll explore the emotional toll, ways to protect your own mental health, and how to move forward, whether that means repairing the relationship or finding peace in letting go.

It’s not about winning an argument. It’s about finding your footing when the ground between you and someone you love has shifted.

🧠 Read the full post here: https://drnatetherapy.com/family-estrangement-political-differences/
Have you experienced political differences in your family? How have you handled them? 💬⬇️

We don’t choose our families, but for many of us, there is an expectation that love and loyalty should transcend all differences. That belief can hold strong, until it doesn’t. In recent years, political and social divisions have cut across families in ways that feel deeply personal, leaving man...

08/05/2025

Sometimes it feels like you and your partner are speaking different languages.
Maybe you drop little hints that you want connection, like a smile, a playful comment, or a touch on the arm, but they do not seem to notice. Or maybe your partner reaches out in their own way, but it flies right past you in the middle of a busy day.

Those small moments are called emotional bids. They are the building blocks of trust, intimacy, and emotional safety in a relationship. When bids are noticed and responded to, connection grows. When they are missed or ignored, disconnection quietly settles in.

In this blog post, I explore what emotional bids are, how to recognize them, and the simple ways to respond that can change the tone of your relationship. We will look at the research behind them, common ways they get overlooked, and what it takes to start turning toward each other more often.

It is not about being perfect. It is about noticing those little opportunities and making the choice to connect.

🧠 Read the full post here: https://drnatetherapy.com/emotional-bids-in-relationships/

Have you noticed emotional bids in your relationship? What helps you catch them in the moment? 💬⬇️

Understanding the Subtle Ways We Disconnect and How to Rebuild Trust Through Small Moments Have you ever felt like you and your partner were missing each other, even when everything seemed “fine”? Maybe they made a passing comment and you nodded but didn’t really engage. Or maybe you asked a

07/29/2025

Have you ever found yourself questioning your identity after leaving a religious community?
Maybe you were taught to push down your feelings, doubt your instincts, or live in fear of judgment. Now that you’ve stepped away, you might be feeling a mix of grief, relief, anger, or maybe just deep confusion.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with you.

Leaving a faith tradition can shake your sense of self, community, and belonging. It’s not just about what you don’t believe anymore, it’s about who you are now and how to rebuild from here. What do you trust? How do you handle relationships that are still inside the faith? And how do you make sense of the pain without turning on yourself?

In this blog post, I explore the emotional impact of religious deconstruction from a therapeutic lens. We’ll look at what it means to grieve, to reclaim your inner voice, and to move forward with gentleness and intention.

You don’t need to have the answers yet. What matters most is that you give yourself permission to be in process.

🧠 Read the full post here: https://drnatetherapy.com/leaving-religion-therapy/
Have you gone through a similar journey? I’d be honored to hear what helped you along the way. 💬⬇️

07/21/2025

Have you ever felt unsure how to show up as a parent after divorce, especially when a new partner enters the picture?

Maybe you’re trying to balance your child’s feelings with your own. You might be feeling the pressure to protect, to blend, to smooth things over. Or perhaps you’re caught between guilt, hope, and confusion and are wondering, Am I doing this right?

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone, there’s nothing wrong with you.

Navigating co-parenting after a divorce is already complex. When a new relationship begins, it can stir up even more layers: for your child, your ex, and yourself. What’s your role now? What’s theirs? And how do you move forward without causing harm or losing yourself?

In this blog post, I explore how to approach parenting after divorce when a new partner is part of the dynamic. From a therapeutic lens, we look at emotional safety, boundaries, and how to center your child’s experience while also honoring your own healing.

You don’t need to have it all figured out. What matters most is staying grounded in connection, care, and curiosity.

🧠 Read the full post here: https://drnatetherapy.com/parenting-after-divorce-new-partner/

Have you been in this situation as a parent, partner, or child? I’d love to hear what you’ve learned along the way. 💬⬇️

Parenting after a divorce can feel like learning how to walk all over again. Just when you’ve gotten the hang of balancing custody schedules, emotional transitions, and your child’s needs, a new challenge arises: introducing a new partner into the family. Blending families is rarely seamless. It...

07/09/2025

Have you ever found yourself grieving something others didn’t seem to understand?
Maybe you left a church, a spiritual community, or a belief system and part of you is still trying to make sense of the loss. You might feel relief one day and deep sadness the next. Maybe you're asking, "Was it even real?" or wondering why it still hurts when you chose to walk away.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with you.
Leaving a faith community, especially one that shaped your identity or sense of belonging, is a profound kind of loss. Even if you feel certain in your decision, the grief can still show up in quiet, complicated ways.

In this blog post, I explore the hidden grief that often comes with religious deconstruction. From a therapeutic lens, we look at how Emotionally Focused Therapy and narrative work can help you honor what was, make space for what’s still tender, and reclaim your sense of self outside of old belief systems.

You don’t have to choose between your healing and your history.
Grief is not a sign you’re going backward, it’s a sign you’re moving through.

🔗 Read the full post here: https://www.drnatetherapy.com/grieving-after-leaving-church/

Have you felt grief after stepping away from a faith tradition? I’d love to hear what that journey has looked like for you. ⬇️💬

07/07/2025

Have you ever struggled to explain what you’re feeling in a way your partner could truly understand?
Maybe you shut down, lash out, or try to hold it all together with a smile, even though inside, you’re exhausted. Or maybe you’ve been told you're “too hard on yourself,” but letting go of high standards feels too risky. It might feel like you could fall apart if you stop performing.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. What often looks like perfectionism on the outside is really a search for emotional safety on the inside.

In this blog post, I explore how perfectionism is less about being “the best” and more about protecting ourselves from feelings of shame, rejection, or uncertainty. When we treat perfectionism as a strategy rather than a flaw, we can begin to understand it with compassion, not just critique.

From an Emotionally Focused Therapy perspective, these patterns often come from early relationships where being “good” felt like the only way to feel loved or safe. Those strategies might have served us once, but now they can make it harder to connect with the people we care about most.

The good news is that you can learn to soften the inner critic without losing your sense of self. You can feel safe without being perfect.

Therapy can help you recognize what’s underneath the drive to perform and build safer, more emotionally honest connections with yourself and with others.

🔗 Read the full post here: https://drnatetherapy.com/perfectionism-emotional-safety/
Have you ever noticed your perfectionism showing up most strongly in your relationships? I’d love to hear how you’re learning to shift those patterns. ⬇️💬

Perfectionism is often misunderstood. From the outside, it can look like ambition, attention to detail, or having high standards. Perfectionists are often praised for their hard work, their reliability, or their ability to go above and beyond. But underneath the surface, perfectionism is not really....

07/01/2025

Have you ever struggled to explain what you’re feeling in a way your partner could truly understand?
Maybe you shut down, lash out, or just go quiet, even though part of you longs to feel seen and safe. Or maybe you’ve tried to express yourself, but it comes out all wrong, and the distance between you only grows.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not broken. Sometimes we just need new tools to speak the emotional language of connection.

🦊 In this blog post, I explore how couples can use animal metaphors to express tricky emotional states that are often hard to put into words. For example, instead of saying “I’m overwhelmed,” you might say “I feel like a turtle right now,” to gently communicate a need to retreat and slow down. Or if you’re feeling edgy and protective, saying “I’m a porcupine today” can signal that you’re feeling tender and not quite ready to be close, even though you care.

These kinds of metaphors create a shared emotional shorthand. They make it safer to be honest without escalating tension or shutting down. They reduce the pressure to explain perfectly and invite empathy instead of defensiveness. Over time, this can help you and your partner navigate hard moments with more softness and understanding.

🛠️ Emotional communication doesn't have to be polished. It just has to be honest and rooted in care. Therapy can help you build that bridge.

🔗 Read the full post here: https://drnatetherapy.com/animal-metaphors-in-relationships/

Have you and your partner ever used code words, inside jokes, or metaphors to name emotions? I’d love to hear how it’s helped you feel closer. ⬇️💬

Have you ever wished your partner just knew what you were feeling without you having to spell it out? Maybe you've had a long day and all you want is to be held. Or maybe your skin feels tight with stress and you need space, but saying “I need space” feels

06/25/2025

Have you ever felt like setting boundaries with your parents would hurt them more than help you?

Maybe you second-guess yourself, wondering if you're being too sensitive or too distant. Or maybe you’ve been carrying the weight of guilt for wanting space, even when you know it's what you need to feel safe and whole.

If that sounds familiar, you are not alone, and you are not selfish for needing distance.

💬 In this blog post, I explore what it means to take a step back from a parent, why this can be a necessary part of healing, and how therapy can support you through the emotional complexity of it all.

🛠️ Boundaries are not about punishment. They are about protection, clarity, and self-respect.

🔗 Read the full post here: https://drnatetherapy.com/step-back-from-parents/

Have you ever wrestled with setting boundaries with a parent? What helped you find clarity or peace? I’d love to hear your experience below. ⬇️💬

If you're thinking about setting firm boundaries with your parents, or even stepping away from the relationship entirely, you’re not alone. Many adults find themselves in this difficult place, wanting to feel safe and respected, yet also carrying a deep sense of guilt, grief, or confusion. These f...

06/24/2025

Have you ever found yourself shutting down during conflict even when part of you wants to speak up?

Maybe your heart races, your thoughts go blank, or you suddenly feel the urge to just agree and move on. Or maybe you walk away from the conversation entirely, telling yourself it’s not worth it, even though something feels unresolved.

If this sounds familiar, you might lean toward an avoidant conflict style and you are not broken for doing so.

💬 In this blog post, I unpack how avoidant conflict resolution patterns show up in relationships, where they come from, and how therapy can help you move toward connection without overwhelming your nervous system.

🛠️ Conflict doesn’t have to mean chaos. With the right tools, it can become a doorway to deeper trust and intimacy.

🔗 Read the full post here: https://drnatetherapy.com/avoidant-conflict-resolution-relationships/

How do you typically respond to conflict? What helps you stay grounded when things get tough? I’d love to hear below. ⬇️💬

Have you ever felt like it’s hard to bring up something that’s bothering you in your relationship? Maybe conflict feels uncomfortable or even unsafe, so you decide to avoid it. If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Recent research by Rackham et al., (2017) offers helpful insights into why ...

06/18/2025

Have you ever felt completely worn out, but your brain just won’t hit the brakes?

Maybe you lie in bed replaying conversations, planning tomorrow, or getting lost in late-night rabbit holes. Or maybe you fall asleep fast, but wake up in the middle of the night, wide-eyed and wired.

If you live with ADHD, sleep can be one of the hardest things to get right.
And you are not broken for struggling with rest.

💬 In this blog post, I explore ADHD-friendly sleep hygiene tips that actually make sense for neurodivergent brains. These aren’t rigid rules or one-size-fits-all solutions. They’re gentle, practical ideas to help your body and brain work with you, not against you.

🌙 You deserve rest that feels nourishing, not just more pressure to do things “the right way.”

🔗 Read the full post here: https://drnatetherapy.com/sleep-hygiene-tips/

What helps you wind down at night? What’s still a struggle? I’d love to hear your thoughts. ⬇️💬

We often treat sleep like an afterthought. We cram it between late-night emails and early alarms, assuming it should just happen naturally if we give it enough time. But what if the problem is not the number of hours we spend in bed, but how we relate to the entire process of sleeping?