02/09/2025
So this is what's on my heart right now to share. I'm realizing that I have been kind of paralyzed by fear because of the trauma I induced trying to move to Arizona and with hope that I was moving into a community of healers to be surrounded by people that I thought, could be good for me and vice versa. But what I learned the hard way was a lot of people in the community, unfortunately are very fake and pretentious while many are not but my experience was not good at all. If you are disabled or unemployed with no income like I have been, they pretty much don't want anything to do with you and they don't want to help you in any way, if they don't have to. Asking anything of that community just seemed like too much when I moved, but that community seemed all welcoming to me before I left Texas, but once I got there, it was not the same...very surprising. I also, I've seen sides to my own friends back in Dallas, just showing me their true colors that people aren't really my friends like they say they are and here for me like they say. Or they manipulate the situation and make it toxic.🙄 I don't know, unfortunately I saw sides of people I didn't think were there or I was blind to before I guess and I hated learning those lessons the hard way that way. It's been very hard and traumatic for me going through this process. And then trying to hold on to my faith in gods hope that healing will come to my body, and that I can walk in a different life. Fulfilling his purpose, and that's all I want to do, but I have to like have healing in my own body. I can't help others heal while I'm not doing well as much as I want to help others. I just appreciate any prayers. I've been struggling a lot mentally, emotionally, and physically so, and then trying to process healing from my own childhood plus losing friends, losing money, losing so many things I've had loss all around in my life. And this last year has been one of the hardest in a long time and that is saying a lot I just want a better life that isn't surrounded by doctors and medication and having to do things to make money that I should not because I'm not able to work. It should not be this difficult to get disability when I have so many things going wrong, it's unreal. How the government just does not care to help people here, they just don't. It's just another reason why my heart cries to like travel and live out in the world. I would rather be embracing culture and meeting other people and learning new things, being in nature, than being stuck here in the states being limited or I have felt limited here. Plus my health has not been well here but when I leave the country my health is way better, so there's something to that. My heart's cry is to live out of the US where the cost of living isn't so much. I'm a very humble person and I don't need a lot. I just want more of a life where I can relax and yeah, simply do what I want to do and and help others connect to their heart and their purpose and they're healing while I enjoy connecting to them as people and culture in the world.🙏 I'll continue my inner work and trusting in the lord while seeking investors and other healers to join me on this journey to help heal the world 🗺️🫶💝✨️✨️ I just want a community and a place to call home while I live out his purpose for my life. I don't think that's asking too much 😊
